Tag Archives: books

Summer of Self Care – Day 31

Posted on by
Reply

You Matter 

We’ve been through 31 days of the Summer of Self Care together and covered 30 different topics or ideas for you to add to a regular self care plan. Of course, your self care plan will ebb and flow with the seasons, with the changes that show up in your life or with your health.

It is my deepest hope that you have benefitted from this program and will continually look at self care in a different way. Hopefully, practicing self care will become a daily habit for you. Maybe you have learned a lot about yourself and will continue to learn more as you engage in journaling and reflecting. Undoubtedly, you may have had difficulty practicing each prompt and that’s perfectly okay. One of the purposes of this month-long exercise was to create some regular self care time, but also some ideas for when you only have a moment to pop on a playlist or when you have an entire weekend that can be dedicated to a retreat.

The feedback I got from some of you affirms that self care is something that resonates with most of us. We all seem to be bouncing from one stressful thing to another busy thing and have difficulty focusing on what we really need to be centered and grounded.

Several posts stood out as most popular in our series – The art of saying no, dancing whenever you feel like it, creating Tech Free days, a day of play and the Comfort Bag were the favorites.

A couple of you emailed that you were sharing these ideas with your friends and found a Self Care Accountability Buddy, which will definitely help you as you continue to make self care a big part of your routine.

Caregivers, I hear you! I see you! I honor the work that you are doing for others and hope you will carve out a little space for yourself every single day. I encourage you to put yourself on the list – yes, there’s a lot going on and much of it is critical, unexpected and ever-changing. But if you don’t take care of yourself, you absolutely can’t take care of others.

For me personally, it was ironic and comforting that I started this Summer of Self Care at the same time we began a summer DIY flooring project. I needed to practice extreme self care often during this month as we learned how to install drop/lock flooring, learned how to respond to the discovery of an old water leak and some resulting mold in a half bath. I also got to spend lots of time with my granddaughter for her annual BacktoSchoolPalooza and realized that, for me, spending time with her is an act of self care. She reminds me to laugh and play and make time for the things that are important.

If you google self care or put self care in the search box on amazon.com, you will find a ton of resources, books and other items that will expand your knowledge on this topic. But I encourage you to listen to your intuition, your heart, your inner voice that carries all the wisdom you need to know what to do in each moment that you need care.

Every moment can be a moment of self care – that just takes awareness. Awareness of our thoughts, our words and the way we respond.

It was an honor to spend each day with you in self care practice. I wish you all the best as you continue on this journey of kindness, love and support for You. Not always Just for You, but always Including You. Because, as my sweet neighbor Barbara reminds all of us:

Summer of Self Care – Day 18

Posted on by
Reply

Decluttering: One Pile at a Time

Disclaimer: This is NOT my clutter. It’s a free stock photo. But it could be…

Today’s self care for the summer prompt is brought to you by someone who sometimes worries that she is a hoarder. Yep! That’s me!

After we lost everything in Hurricane Katrina, I realized I had accumulated a lot of stuff. Seeing that pile of home debris out front of our home made me feel sad and discouraged. After living without all that stuff for awhile, I felt as though most of that stuff was essentially unnecessary as well.

And almost immediately, people started replenishing household items and my creative supplies. I appreciated that greatly. And felt like I “deserved” to pick up a few things myself. Then, gradually, I started accumulating the same number of bookcases full of books. Add the death of my mom and the acquisition of the things she had kept, I began to realize I had started to accumulate more than I have room to store.

I am confronted with the realization that I have a lot of stuff. And that said piles of stuff sometimes makes me a little less than calm.

At the beginning of the year, I made a commitment to make decluttering one of my daily habits. Because it’s so important to me, I decided I needed to spend a little or a lot of time every day going through my stuff and purging what isn’t serving me any more. Or yes, what isn’t bringing me joy. I do like the philosophy of that book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  I don’t take it all completely to heart, but there are parts of her process that I think are very effective.

Now you don’t have to declutter every day, but if there’s a space or a category of things you are feeling crowded by, today’s the day to take on the process of decluttering. And note that I said “process” – because it is not an event.

Decluttering takes consistent time and effort. It’s more of a self care activity than many people realize. Getting rid of clutter brings in space for things that will really serve you. However, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge your feelings when you are sad about the connection you feel to a particular item. Sometimes we hold on to things that are broken, just because they were given by or belonged to someone we love and miss. Give yourself permission to take a bit of time to let go of things that are emotionally connected.

Clutter lives in your home, your car, and your office.

How many emails show up in your inbox every day that you delete without reading? Are you subscribed to things that just clutter up your inbox?

Is your sock drawer full of “holy socks?”

Are you regularly wearing all your clothes or shoes in the closet?

For me, taking on the task of laying new flooring in about half of our home, I am hyper focused on clutter. As we empty a room, I am mindful of what I can do without so I don’t have to bring the same amount back in. Even though I recently decluttered my clothes and office supplies, I am finding that a second pass through results in the decision to trim off just a little bit more.

And it feels good to release it all! You can donate stuff to a local charity or host a yard sale – both feel great!

Decluttering is an act of self care and creates space for more self care. We feel differently when we carry a lighter load.

Starting now means you will have less stuff before the holidays. Imagine how that would change the way you decorate for and celebrate the holidays? And your clutter just might be someone else’s “Christmas in July.”

Summer of Self Care – Day 8

Posted on by
Reply

Summer Reading Day  

As a teenager, summer reading for me used to involve a paperback, a beach towel and some baby oil to encourage fast tanning.

Okay, it doesn’t have to be a paperback, and PLEASE don’t use baby oil, but summer does evoke a picture in your mind, right?

Doesn’t this just make you want to brew a cuppa, go outside crack open a good book?

I remember lots of summers spent reading as a child or young adult, and just not because I had a school summer reading list. (Although the idea of a summer reading list filled me with joy. I do realize that this isn’t the case for everyone.)

Reading all day makes the day go by very slowly. And, even if you are an avid reader, when was the last time you read a book outside? We get busy and forget that joy of reading a good book by the lake, in the backyard under a tree, in a rocking chair on the front porch or….you get the hint.

If you’re lucky and you have the whole day in front of you, by all means I say take a day to read. But if you’re like most people, you’ll need to carve out some time. First step – schedule it in for today. Try not to leave it for the last moments of the day, or you may find yourself falling asleep before you really start to enjoy it. And what about a trip to a bookstore or the library today to choose something special to read? If you’re not sure what might interest you, they often have a summer reading display or you can browse the list of current bestsellers. (Here’s the current NYT Online list of E-book and Print Fiction)

There are no rules for what you should be reading during the summer. This morning, I heard someone say, “I’m reading The Picture of Dorian Gray. Not exactly good summer reading, is it?”  Why not?

And it doesn’t have to be a book, does it?

You might go to the library or the bookstore and pick up a magazine you’ve never read before, just because it piques your interest. Or find an old favorite that you haven’t read for awhile. Or a magazine you might normally consider a guilty pleasure or “trashy.” A secret pal at work once gave me an issue of the National Enquirer, which I found to be an outrageously fun and silly way to spend that hour.

Audio books and podcasts are also encouraged if you want someone else to tell you a story. (I filmed a Just Five Minutes about Podcasts awhile ago – they are podcasts about every subject you can imagine. And one of my favorites is Harper Collins Audio.)

And don’t forget Short Stories, Essays or Novellas – often overlooked, if you ask me.

The only “self care rule” I think you should consider about this prompt today is to make sure it’s something you want to read for you and for fun, rather than a must read for work, school or someone else’s request.

So, this prompt is Read for Pleasure today, preferably not online or on a tablet if you can get away with that. (Unplugging, even just for an hour, is also self-care at its best these days. And get ready because, if you’re up to it, we are about to schedule a Tech Free Day!)

So Many Books, So Much Time

Posted on by
Reply

Years ago, I saw this quote somewhere in my sister’s house:

“So Many Books, So Little Time.”

I had an immediate reaction to this statement. It filled me with sadness and anxiety. Always an avid reader, I’ve had a list of books I want to read since I was like 4 years old! I learned to read at an early age and standing in the stacks at the library, perusing book titles, was one of my favorite things to do. It still is.

I’m going to be very transparent with you. We all have our quirks, right? So I’m going to be honest about one of mine.

When I am feeling really anxious or like things are out of control, I begin to hoard books. I do this in a couple of ways: I go to the library and check out two or three; I look at my own library of books and grab a few off the shelf, stacking them on my nightstand; or I pick up my tablet and start shopping for e-books and download a few.

Some may see chaos. I see normal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I used to get annoyed with myself when I did this. I would stare at the stack of books that would likely go unread and think, “Why did you do this, crazy girl? You have so many books to read already!”

I’m not sure I yet have the full answer to why this happens to me. But lately I have wondered if it’s a response to the feeling I had, and continue to have, when I see that statement.

“So many books, so little time.”

When I feel pressured or anxious about time, work or some other sort of issue that makes me feel like I have no control, the one thing I CAN control is my ability to read. I can also control what books TO read. I can almost always find TIME to read, even if it’s just for ten minutes before falling asleep. Ten minutes of reading time a day isn’t ideal, but it’s enough.

Recently, I finished an e-book I had borrowed from the library and removed it from my Kindle shelf. I looked at what remained in my library and thought about all the purchased e-books I hadn’t read yet. My TBR, if you will – To Be Read. I have this shelf on my Goodreads account too. There are 418 books on that shelf. If I listed my TBR for a lifetime, it would range in the tens of thousands, I am sure. Maybe even six digits.

So why don’t I feel anxious about that? I honestly don’t know. I just don’t. Every once in awhile, I get a little annoyed with myself for the number of books I’ve started and haven’t finished. I’ll return them to the library or ask myself where I am feeling out of control. But I quickly recognize there are also other reasons I have a stack of books on my nightstand. For example, I’m reading Under Surge, Under Siege, The Odyssey of Bay St. Louis and Katrina written by Ellis Anderson. (She’s a friend of mine, I’m delighted to say!) It’s a beautifully written book, but it’s about Hurricane Katrina, which is still a bit traumatic to me, so I read it in small doses. A few others on my shelf are good, but for some reason difficult to sail through quickly. Some are meant to read a bit, process and then read a bit more, like Emotional Yoga: How the Body Can Heal the Mind. I review the currently reading list now and again and make sure I still want to finish that book, or I give myself permission to let it go and never finish.

I couldn’t do that when I was younger, by the way. I used to feel it was my moral obligation to finish every book I started. These days, I just think they aren’t all going to be winners for me, in that moment. I may go back eventually or I may just give myself permission to take it off the currently reading shelf.

Picking up a stack of books and deciding whether to read them now or later is something I can control. It’s something I love to do. When everything is feeling off kilter, reading is an activity that is at the center of my being. It always has been and always will be. There are so many books and so much time for me to read the ones I want to read.

So here’s why I know now that I collect books when I am stressed:

  • Believing I will be able to read everything I want to read makes me feel like the chaotic feelings or events around me will eventually subside.
  • Finding a new book I’ve never heard of  brings me into the awareness and  possibility of a new story.
  • Re-reading a favorite book allows me to experience it in a new way.
  • Having a variety of books near me to read at any given moment is one thing that calms me when nothing else can.
  • Even ten minutes of reading a day makes me happy.
  • Reading brings me to my Center.

While picking up five books might seem like creating chaos to some people, to me it feels strangely calming and natural.  All these years later, after reading that horrifying quote, I know that there will always be books around me. Everywhere I need them to be.

I recently created a TBR Jar so I can choose randomly when I don’t know what I want to read. This jar only contains a few of the books on my lists or in my bookshelves that I hope to read.

After all, so many TBR jars, so many book titles to fill them.

My TBR Jar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Business Basics

Posted on by
Reply

I have to admit something that I’m not particularly proud of. When I discovered coaching and decided I wanted to be a coach, it never occurred to me that I would also have to become a business owner. I suppose in my excitement and passion about this new venture, I let my left brain lag a little behind on the learning curve. In fact, let’s just be honest – I’m really more of a right brain person in general! I like writing, reading, creating, and self-help.  I’m not fond of accounting, systems, analysis or research. Yet there was something compelling about owning my own business and being my own boss. Looking back, I really think there are really 10 simple, not too left brain things I benefitted from or wish I would have known when I was a new entrepreneur.  I’m going to share 5 of them with you today.

1.  There are a lot of free resources out there. www.myownbusiness.org (just found this one! ),  Women’s Business Centers, SBA workshops, Innovation Centers, and other small business organizations and websites. But take care that you don’t overload yourself with information. I’ve been on information overload for a few years now and it can actually slow you down if you’re not careful. Only take in what you can read and use within 30 days.

2.  Business books abound! The top of my list of must reads includes The E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber, Linchpin or anything by Seth Godin, Multiple Streams of Income by Andrea J.  Lee, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and Good to Great by Jim Collins. Of course, your enjoyment of these books may be lesser or greater depending on what business you are in. Think of a book you’ve enjoyed and then go  Amazon.com and see what similar books were purchased by consumers of your favorite title.

 3.  Get a coach! Okay – I know I AM a coach so I’m a little biased but I truly believe in the value of coaching for new business owners, new coaches – anyone who’s considering a small business venture. I have had a coach and will always have a coach when I need to stretch myself to reach the next level.

 4. Find a mentor. There is tremendous value in sitting at the feet of someone who has been where you are and learned a lot from the process. One of my mentors recently passed away and I still miss popping by her house just to sit and listen to whatever she felt was important to share with me.  Mentors are generous souls who want to see you succeed. They suspend competitive beliefs and really help you on the journey.

 5. Select a method for tracking, noting, recording, posting, reminding, following up or whatever you have to do to succeed. I had no earthly idea how I was going to track leads. For a long time, I just kept a stack of business cards on my desk tied up in a rubber band! I guess I thought seeing the stack would trigger a follow up but it didn’t. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on software systems or consultants who give you what works for them. Start basic and use Excel spreadsheets or Access databases until you evolve into something larger and more specific to fit your needs.

So in the spirit of limiting informational overload, I’ll leave you with these to chew on and begin to implement. Stay tuned for the next installment and be sure to reach out if you’re stuck.  Sometimes asking for help is the last thing we do when it really should be first on the list!