Tag Archives: daily habits

Summer of Self Care – Day 31

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You Matter 

We’ve been through 31 days of the Summer of Self Care together and covered 30 different topics or ideas for you to add to a regular self care plan. Of course, your self care plan will ebb and flow with the seasons, with the changes that show up in your life or with your health.

It is my deepest hope that you have benefitted from this program and will continually look at self care in a different way. Hopefully, practicing self care will become a daily habit for you. Maybe you have learned a lot about yourself and will continue to learn more as you engage in journaling and reflecting. Undoubtedly, you may have had difficulty practicing each prompt and that’s perfectly okay. One of the purposes of this month-long exercise was to create some regular self care time, but also some ideas for when you only have a moment to pop on a playlist or when you have an entire weekend that can be dedicated to a retreat.

The feedback I got from some of you affirms that self care is something that resonates with most of us. We all seem to be bouncing from one stressful thing to another busy thing and have difficulty focusing on what we really need to be centered and grounded.

Several posts stood out as most popular in our series – The art of saying no, dancing whenever you feel like it, creating Tech Free days, a day of play and the Comfort Bag were the favorites.

A couple of you emailed that you were sharing these ideas with your friends and found a Self Care Accountability Buddy, which will definitely help you as you continue to make self care a big part of your routine.

Caregivers, I hear you! I see you! I honor the work that you are doing for others and hope you will carve out a little space for yourself every single day. I encourage you to put yourself on the list – yes, there’s a lot going on and much of it is critical, unexpected and ever-changing. But if you don’t take care of yourself, you absolutely can’t take care of others.

For me personally, it was ironic and comforting that I started this Summer of Self Care at the same time we began a summer DIY flooring project. I needed to practice extreme self care often during this month as we learned how to install drop/lock flooring, learned how to respond to the discovery of an old water leak and some resulting mold in a half bath. I also got to spend lots of time with my granddaughter for her annual BacktoSchoolPalooza and realized that, for me, spending time with her is an act of self care. She reminds me to laugh and play and make time for the things that are important.

If you google self care or put self care in the search box on amazon.com, you will find a ton of resources, books and other items that will expand your knowledge on this topic. But I encourage you to listen to your intuition, your heart, your inner voice that carries all the wisdom you need to know what to do in each moment that you need care.

Every moment can be a moment of self care – that just takes awareness. Awareness of our thoughts, our words and the way we respond.

It was an honor to spend each day with you in self care practice. I wish you all the best as you continue on this journey of kindness, love and support for You. Not always Just for You, but always Including You. Because, as my sweet neighbor Barbara reminds all of us:

Summer of Self Care Day One

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I’ve said before that Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages (one of her tools from The Artist’s Way) have been so beneficial to me. The other day, while journaling, the idea of creating  a Summer of Self Care came to me out of the blue and I mentioned it on Facebook to see if it was something that resonates with my followers. Apparently, it does. So here we are! Day 1 of the Summer of Self Care! (Use #summerofselfcare2017 in sharing posts on social media, if you would please!)

I thought we’d start with defining self care and grounding this 30 days in something that is meaningful.

Self care is any act you incorporate in your moment or day or month or life that brings you joy, peace, well-being, healthy boundaries, a healthy body, a healthy sense of being – it’s anything you do for yourself, not for others or to make yourself better for someone else.

Acts of self care don’t have to be huge, but they can be life changing. For example, you may set a boundary with someone that creates a huge sense of peace in your life. You may read a book that changes your perspective on something. Or you may start a morning routine that makes you feel much more at peace with your day.

Whatever you choose to do, you don’t have to spend tons of time on self care, though you can do so if you’d like. Self care doesn’t have to be expensive, though I’m not judging if you decide to purchase a cruise because it falls under the “brings you joy” category. And self care doesn’t mean you’re being selfish or not caring for or about others. In fact, caregivers need an EXTRA measure of self care every single day.

When I hired my very first coach, I learned the value of self care very quickly. What it does for me is that it keeps me grounded in all aspects of my self – mind, body and spirit. And when I am grounded, I respond, rather than react. Self care practices keep me operating from a place of fullness rather than scarcity. When I feel cranky, angry, anxious, fearful or stressed to the max, I know it’s time to add some self care back into my daily routine.

So for your first prompt in the Summer of Self Care…..(drum roll…….here we go……)

Take out a piece of paper and a pen (or you might want to find a journal since you may be writing a lot this month).

Write down why you think you need to increase your daily self care habit.

Why do you think self care is important to you right now?

How do you hope to feel at the end of this month?

What do you want that you don’t have now?

And really take a moment to commit to this month of self care. Write down affirmations like, “I promise to take care of myself in some small way, every day, for AT LEAST the next 30 days.” “I am ALL IN for myself this month.” Whatever you need to say. If it’s a little prayer, write that down. If it’s a quote, write that down too. Whatever comes to your mind, journal it out.

Now breathe in. Breathe out. And acknowledge that you have just taken the first step in the care of the most important person you could take care of – YOU!!!

Because…

 

Today, you are you.

So Many Books, So Much Time

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Years ago, I saw this quote somewhere in my sister’s house:

“So Many Books, So Little Time.”

I had an immediate reaction to this statement. It filled me with sadness and anxiety. Always an avid reader, I’ve had a list of books I want to read since I was like 4 years old! I learned to read at an early age and standing in the stacks at the library, perusing book titles, was one of my favorite things to do. It still is.

I’m going to be very transparent with you. We all have our quirks, right? So I’m going to be honest about one of mine.

When I am feeling really anxious or like things are out of control, I begin to hoard books. I do this in a couple of ways: I go to the library and check out two or three; I look at my own library of books and grab a few off the shelf, stacking them on my nightstand; or I pick up my tablet and start shopping for e-books and download a few.

Some may see chaos. I see normal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I used to get annoyed with myself when I did this. I would stare at the stack of books that would likely go unread and think, “Why did you do this, crazy girl? You have so many books to read already!”

I’m not sure I yet have the full answer to why this happens to me. But lately I have wondered if it’s a response to the feeling I had, and continue to have, when I see that statement.

“So many books, so little time.”

When I feel pressured or anxious about time, work or some other sort of issue that makes me feel like I have no control, the one thing I CAN control is my ability to read. I can also control what books TO read. I can almost always find TIME to read, even if it’s just for ten minutes before falling asleep. Ten minutes of reading time a day isn’t ideal, but it’s enough.

Recently, I finished an e-book I had borrowed from the library and removed it from my Kindle shelf. I looked at what remained in my library and thought about all the purchased e-books I hadn’t read yet. My TBR, if you will – To Be Read. I have this shelf on my Goodreads account too. There are 418 books on that shelf. If I listed my TBR for a lifetime, it would range in the tens of thousands, I am sure. Maybe even six digits.

So why don’t I feel anxious about that? I honestly don’t know. I just don’t. Every once in awhile, I get a little annoyed with myself for the number of books I’ve started and haven’t finished. I’ll return them to the library or ask myself where I am feeling out of control. But I quickly recognize there are also other reasons I have a stack of books on my nightstand. For example, I’m reading Under Surge, Under Siege, The Odyssey of Bay St. Louis and Katrina written by Ellis Anderson. (She’s a friend of mine, I’m delighted to say!) It’s a beautifully written book, but it’s about Hurricane Katrina, which is still a bit traumatic to me, so I read it in small doses. A few others on my shelf are good, but for some reason difficult to sail through quickly. Some are meant to read a bit, process and then read a bit more, like Emotional Yoga: How the Body Can Heal the Mind. I review the currently reading list now and again and make sure I still want to finish that book, or I give myself permission to let it go and never finish.

I couldn’t do that when I was younger, by the way. I used to feel it was my moral obligation to finish every book I started. These days, I just think they aren’t all going to be winners for me, in that moment. I may go back eventually or I may just give myself permission to take it off the currently reading shelf.

Picking up a stack of books and deciding whether to read them now or later is something I can control. It’s something I love to do. When everything is feeling off kilter, reading is an activity that is at the center of my being. It always has been and always will be. There are so many books and so much time for me to read the ones I want to read.

So here’s why I know now that I collect books when I am stressed:

  • Believing I will be able to read everything I want to read makes me feel like the chaotic feelings or events around me will eventually subside.
  • Finding a new book I’ve never heard of  brings me into the awareness and  possibility of a new story.
  • Re-reading a favorite book allows me to experience it in a new way.
  • Having a variety of books near me to read at any given moment is one thing that calms me when nothing else can.
  • Even ten minutes of reading a day makes me happy.
  • Reading brings me to my Center.

While picking up five books might seem like creating chaos to some people, to me it feels strangely calming and natural.  All these years later, after reading that horrifying quote, I know that there will always be books around me. Everywhere I need them to be.

I recently created a TBR Jar so I can choose randomly when I don’t know what I want to read. This jar only contains a few of the books on my lists or in my bookshelves that I hope to read.

After all, so many TBR jars, so many book titles to fill them.

My TBR Jar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Do It Because I Like This Kind Of Life

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About 10 years ago, I read Julia Cameron’s seminal work called The Artist’s Way. The introduction began with her assignment to do something called Morning Pages, where you hand write three pages each morning. I did it for the six weeks of the program and beyond. In fact, since that time, there have been maybe less than 10 days that I haven’t gotten up to do morning pages.

Morning pages are definitely a habit for me now. But they take a good bit of effort, when I really think about it. I have to get up early sometimes to catch a flight or to drive to a client appointment. On vacation, I may want to get up early and have breakfast in whatever city we find ourselves visiting. But for some reason, morning pages are the way I operate now and they can’t be skipped. So I adjust my waking time to make sure that it happens – three pages, with my coffee, in the same seat every day.

After all this time, morning pages help me wake up properly. They are a definite part of my self care routine. And one of my ten daily habits that I don’t often break. Why? Because I can’t. I just know that I can’t. It’s become so ingrained in my daily routine that I can’t let it go.

What parts of your daily routine are so ingrained that you can’t skip them? For some people I know, it’s a morning walk, a devotional or motivational reading. Maybe it’s quiet time catching up with your spouse, partner or child. Maybe sitting on your porch watching the sunset or the moon rise.

Or maybe you don’t have a habit like this but are already thinking about what that might look like. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time – it can be very quick but it could be very meaningful.

I served in leadership and mentoring role once with a man who was a nonprofit executive. He spent 20 minutes every day without fail reading something that helped him to do his work more effectively or efficiently. I realized recently  that my clients who are feeling the most successful are those who can point to daily habits that help them start the day off in a ritualistic and satisfying way.

I saw this quote recently and realized it really describes how I feel about my morning routine. Warren Buffet said,

“I insist on a lot of time being spent, almost every day, to just sit and think. That is very uncommon in American business. I read and think. So I do more reading and thinking, and make less impulse decisions than most people in business. I do it because I like this kind of life.”

I guess that’s really why I continue to spend time on my morning pages.

I do it because I like this kind of life. 

My current journal

Creating Some Daily Habits

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Habits Quote

Looking for inspirational quotes can also be a daily habit!

 

One of the best things about becoming a coach was the training I received from Coach University. There were a variety of courses offered in both of the programs I completed, but one of the first courses I took was Personal Foundation.

Now I could write a book about what I learned in that class, but there is one available. (Warning –  it’s pretty pricey. You can find it on Amazon right here.) One of the best tools I received, and one I share with my clients frequently, was the idea of creating ten daily habits that would keep me grounded and ensure I had enough reserves to get through each day. It’s one of the best ways I keep my work and life in good balance. When I was caregiving for my mom, I often got so stressed that I would let my daily habits fall by the wayside. This resulted in anxiety and a feeling that everything was out of control. That experience taught me that making sure I practice my ten daily habits when I am stressed is critical to keeping that stress under control.

When we’re in crisis or depleted of energy from our “busyness”, we tend to be reactive rather than responsive. When we create personal energetic reserves, they help us feel as though we are connected to a place of balance and control.

Your daily habits can be whatever you want them to be and you don’t absolutely have to do each one every day. In fact, at first, it may be hard to fit them all in. And these habits don’t have to be time consuming. On my current list, there are three things I can do in the space of 20 minutes that help me to ensure that my day starts off in a way that is optimum for me.  For example, you might decide you need daily exercise, some motivation from a favorite podcast and adequate amounts of water during the day. Three habits can be accomplished all at one time if you bring your phone, earbuds and a water bottle on a morning walk.

Here’s a list of my 10 daily habits:

1)   Inspiration and Visualization (can be my music playlist or time spent visualizing what my success really looks like.)

2)   Move my body in some way every day (usually means morning yoga, but can be a walk around the block or doing a happy dance while listening to music playlists.)

3)   Morning pages/gratitude journaling. (three long-hand pages every morning thanks to a practice I learned from Julia Cameron over ten years ago)

4)   Read something every day (could be as simple as a blog post or article online or just might be the books I am currently reading.)

5)   Grounding and centering (I set a daily intention just after yoga while I am still on the mat)

6)   Meditation or quiet time (still on the yoga mat)

7)   Karma notes or calls (a practice I learned from Veronika Noize as a part of her marketing class. Just reaching out to someone every day and exchanging a positive thought or a thank-you for something)

8)   Water (I don’t feel as well as I want to feel if I stop drinking water.)

9)   Declutter – spaces, thoughts or inbox. (A little decluttering each day goes a long way toward keeping me from being anxious and unproductive)

10)  Create at least one new thing (I might draw, paint or write. Just one little creative thing daily keeps me happy.)

Get the idea? I keep my list of 10 Daily Habits taped on one of the cabinets next to my desk so that I am constantly checking in to them, refining and refreshing the list as needed. When you first start, it helps to keep them handy and nearby.

Ready to create your 10 daily habits? Here’s a Ten Daily Habits Template to help you get started!