Tag Archives: intention

Remember Your Worth

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As you know if you’re a regular reader of this blog, I practice morning pages each day. Three pages of long-hand journaling in a notebook, pouring out ideas, fears, criticisms, to-dos and just a general brain dump on many days.

Each day though, I purposefully end the morning pages with two things – an intention for the day and a list of things I am grateful for. Sometimes the intention is created out of necessity. I may be working on a project I’ve been putting off, so my intention is Diligence. Or, I am anxious about something so my intention becomes Peace. I design intentions to fit what I need in that moment or that day.

But sometimes, I am delighted to summon my intention from deep within. I have nothing top of mind and I allow my authentic self to create the intention based on that intuitive knowing of exactly what I need.

Today, my intention was just that. It came to me before I even asked or considered what it might be. And it was

REMEMBER YOUR WORTH 

When it came to my mind, I realized it was exactly what I need today. Maybe for a few days, as a matter of fact.

I’ve been preparing to facilitate a training I’ve never done before. At the same time, I am struggling with a project that isn’t coming together as easily as I’d hoped and believed it would. My doubts about myself cloud my mind and thoughts that aren’t particularly kind swirl in and out of my consciousness. I feel inner turmoil, criticism, anxiety, sadness and above all, self-doubt.

Someone very close to me has reminded me frequently that I am a great trainer. That I am very powerful when I am ‘in my element.’ And I do get energy from training and facilitating a growth mindset for clients. In other words, she’s been telling me to Remember My Worth.

And now, my essential self is telling me too.

It’s time to pay attention and remember all those times I HAVE succeeded in facilitating a training I’ve never done before. And I HAVE pulled off a project at the last minute – time and time again. I have all the tools and resources I need to be successful. I have a strong WHY for all of the things I am currently doing – and the why is bigger than me. It touches so many others and creates a ripple effect as it all launches and flows into the lives of others, many lives that are unknown to me. And that makes me very happy.

So what comes up for you when you see those words

What is it about you that is worth more than you realize? What do others tell you that you often can’t integrate into your own belief and possibility?

Reach back today and think about the times in your life that you have succeeded time and time again at something. Especially if that something still causes you to doubt yourself or feel anxious about what you are longing to do.

When you feel the weight of something, remember your worth.

When you question whether you can do something, remember your worth.

When you feel hopeless, remember your worth.

It’s there. It runs in your subconscious.

You just have to call it and let it stay, like a faithful friend.

Instruments of Grace

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Recently, I posted on Facebook that I am reading Waking Up in Winter by Cheryl Richardson. In truth, I am listening to it on Audiobook, which is always nicer when it’s read by the author. I’m enjoying this book so far – it’s very different from her others because it’s a journaled memoir. At the start of the book, she mentions that her husband reminded her of her love for May Sarton’s journals, so she structured this new book in much the same way.

The added gift for me in all of this is that it reminded me of my own love of May Sarton’s journals and that I have had Journal of a Solitude in my Kindle library for quite awhile. I used to own Plant Dreaming Deep and lost my copy of it to the storm all those years ago. “Why haven’t I read this one yet?” I wondered to myself.

Fast forward a few days when I decide to pick up Journal of a Solitude while simultaneously reading Waking Up in Winter. Reading them both is a great way of caring for myself during this introspective time of the year. Lately, I’ve felt a yearning inside of me, but I wasn’t quite sure what I was longing for. Reading both of these books seemed like a good place to discover what’s been missing.

What these two memoirs have given me so far is a reminder to notice the beauty that is all around me. I can get very distracted by work, time commitments, and a desire to do all the things I want to do. And those distractions keep me from really noticing the silky golden beauty of my granddaughter’s hair or the perfect grace of my cat’s leap onto the couch just before he snuggles next to me.

While uncovering and re-positioning plants after the latest freeze, I noticed how the Jasmine’s leaves are still so shiny and was reminded that we will soon see the tiny buds of her flowers begin to show. ( I am so grateful she didn’t wither away during this cold winter we’ve been having.)

Mardi Gras is early this year, so I am delighted by social media photos of the vibrant colors on glorious Carnival ball gowns. And the familiar Zydeco music on my Pandora playlist begins to fill my office because I am ready to wake up a little myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This morning I made a new chili recipe and I was happy to see the mix of yellow corn, red tomatoes and black beans. And the smell of Coriander and Cumin are all around me as I write this post.

I don’t like getting so caught up with the every day routine of life that I forget to notice and articulate the beautiful things that surround me.

Even before I recognized what was happening, I was drawn to the simple beauty of the blog, videos and Instagram photos of A Wooden Nest. Seeing the simple made wonderful in knitting a pair of socks or making a pot of oatmeal made me instantly connect with this woman’s work.

Once I connected with the realization that I was craving simple beauty, it all made sense. The journal memoirs, the videos and the enjoyment of being outside again after weeks and weeks of bitter cold weather – I needed to pay attention to all of it.

Noticing creates connections to those things I love – those things I am craving. Beauty brings me back to myself.

May Sarton said “Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.”

So that’s my deeper intention for this little while – to slow down and force patience. To seek out the instruments of grace that surround me.

Now that I’ve opened my eyes, they won’t be hard to find.

My One Little Word

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This is the second year I have chosen a word to guide me throughout the year. I first heard about this from my scrapbooking friends – One Little Word is a class taught by Ali Edwards, who is kind of a big deal in those circles. While I haven’t taken the class, I like the idea of creating a personal ‘word’ and reflecting back on it all year.

So this year, I hadn’t yet settled on a word when my world was rocked. On January 8th, my part-time position with a national nonprofit was suddenly eliminated. We had gone through a restructuring the year before, and I was still hanging in. So admittedly, I was surprised when my grip was loosened. Stunned. Felt the floor shifting under my feet. It was a great job and I thought I would be with that company until I retired. Surprise! Not so. Nope. Not today.

When I regained my footing and got some clarity, I created my one little word for 2016. It is:

 

BRAVE

 

I realized I was going to have to make sure this business of mine brought in a full time income, rather than a part-time one. It mattered now whether I had clients who stayed with me, new clients to replace the old and tax money put aside all along the way rather than at the end of the year. My fears and anxieties would have to be pushed aside or dealt with in order to do my best at this and be successful.

What fears do I have? Oh there are a lot of them. I would tell you about all of them, but that would give them voice and I try not to let them talk a lot. It’s easier that way. But here’s an example.

A lot of people who know me know that I am an introvert by nature. Yes, I can act as if I am an extrovert, but at my core, being alone and coaching people one-to one energizes and delights me. Networking? I don’t Prefer it. But I learned long ago to tolerate it. Some days, I even embrace it.

Let’s just say, I chose this word and then what happened?

  • Embrace networking? Enter new clients who bring me weekly opportunities to network with people I’ve never met.
  • Create an LLC rather than a sole proprietorship? Enter an opportunity to learn a lot of information that confuses and frustrates me, but keeps moving forward, step by step. And allows me to work with and learn from people I genuinely love.
  • Expand into a new market? Enter the opportunity to drive into New Orleans and Mobile to attend meetings and meet with referral partners.

These are the ways I have to continually get into the framework and action around my one little word.

What I’ve noticed is that once I set my intention around this word, all sorts of opportunities have shown up for me to prove that I’m committed. Beyond opportunities, the word shows up in articles, conversations, songs and just everywhere I look. There are two songs that have been in my iTunes playlist for years– one is Brave by Sara Bareilles and another is the song Learn me Right from the original soundtrack of the movie Brave. (This one is really special to me because it was gifted to me by a client who thought it described what she got out of coaching with me.) When I shuffle my songs, both of these songs ALWAYS come up. And let me tell you, I have a large iTunes library. So the odds are like 2 in 4589. And they didn’t used to show up quite so much as they do now.

Today, I was actually inspired to write this post about my one little word because I was reading a book by Thomas Leonard, considered by many to be the father of coaching. He wrote this book called The Portable Coach to help people be more attractive and create a strong personal foundation using these 28 strategies he thought were critical to practice. I decided to take a look at this book again since I hadn’t read it in many years. Strategy number one already reminded me of how brilliant he really was, but this quote really got me. It’s on the Very First Page!  Seriously. I can’t make this up. So here it is – get ready:

“Because fortune really does favor the brave, and the brave are guided by their own lights.”

 

Bam. 

 

2016 One Little Word

I always create a little Project Life card for my scrapbook to remember my One Little Word for the year.

She Who Hesitates Is Found

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This year, I have set off with an intention to simplify my life. It was my clear desire at the start of 2011 to let go of those things that were draining my energy and making me feel cranky, guilty, inadequate or used. I leaped into a critical examination of all the things I was involved with or attached to and considered what I could let go of without too much trauma or sadness for all involved.

This process hasn’t been quick or easy, but it has created an unexpected discovery. As I let go of things and examine what isn’t really serving me wholly and completely, I find that others around me are doing the same.  The biggest lesson for me in these months of purging is that the very nature of my change creates an awareness of the changes others are making as well. Some of my friends and colleagues have let go of their stuff just as carefully and deliberately as I have let go of mine! It hasn’t always made me happy – in some cases it has made me downright angry.  But if I feel the need to simplify, I have to respect the same course of action in those I care about as well.

As a coach, I often work with clients on personal foundation issues. There are always clients who come to me seeking more work /life balance, time or energy to complete their tasks. The age old question, “How will I get all of this done?” comes up time and time again in the lives of those I work with. My own daughter, who just graduated from college with her Bachelor’s degree, has used the word “overwhelmed” more than once a week for the past semester.

So how does one go about simplifying a full and over committed life? It requires a quizzical mind and a willingness to put up with the consequences. I started by making a full inquiry and inventory of the groups, events, and efforts I spent even a little time engaged in. Then I listed them out based on whether they were perpetual or had an end date. I grouped them by Large, Average or Small in terms of the time commitment required and then gave them a “Shackles On or Shackles Off” grade. Did I feel happy when spending time and energy on this? Could I hang in there and live with it until completion? Or did I need to regroup, delegate or let go completely? I spent quiet moments considering how my breathing and posture changed when I considered a life with or without these considerations. If I burst into tears thinking about a commitment, I took that as a mandate to go deep within and let go of some aspect or the entirety of my involvement.

When I started looking at what I could let go of and get the most benefit, I was terrified about how the other people involved would feel. I understood they might be angry and resentful. I felt guilty about originally committing to something I couldn’t fulfill. But my perspective was different than theirs. I saw that staying with the project or practice would actually hurt the end result rather than make things better. If my involvement wasn’t complete and I wasn’t all in, the best solution was to stop, release, or even find some way for me or someone like me to step up and do a better job.  I had to think of my self, heal my self and intend to care more fully for my self in the future.

So what lesson did I learn from my inner sage woman? She who hesitates is found. My version of this proverb has a completely different meaning doesn’t it? I now know I cannot say yes without thinking of the larger, broader ramifications of my decision to participate or engage in something that may not fit into my life or bring me joy! Jen Louden’s tweet earlier today sums up what I’ve been feeling too – she tweets, “I am finally ready to stop doing anything that drains my energy and makes me resentful.” Isn’t that a wonderful statement for all of us to embrace?

What does an energy draining or shackles on item look like and feel like for you? Does your breath quicken? Do you feel sad, resentful, guilty, inadequate or scared? Do you want to keep feeling this way? Are you ready to release and breathe deeply again?

One of my friends recently let go of something she had been involved in for a very long time. Some of her sojourners, including myself, had strong, negative reactions to her departure. She told me she didn’t want people to be angry with her for leaving. My sage woman took over and said, “You can’t control how other people feel – you can only do what you want to do and live with what comes out of the leaving.”

But hopefully what she found, and what I have found too, is an inner peace that comes from knowing when to let go. And now I know to hesitate and consult my inner sage before walking blindly and losing myself in an overcommitted life that tips my balance. I make no apologies for not scrawling my name on the sign-up sheet, for only blogging on the occasional Tuesday, or for saying no to a request for something I can’t deliver. The result is that I get to send out more handwritten notes, create more poetry and bake for pleasure. The journey continues but the peace I’ve found so far is invaluable.