Remember Your Worth

As you know if you’re a regular reader of this blog, I practice morning pages each day. Three pages of long-hand journaling in a notebook, pouring out ideas, fears, criticisms, to-dos and just a general brain dump on many days.

Each day though, I purposefully end the morning pages with two things – an intention for the day and a list of things I am grateful for. Sometimes the intention is created out of necessity. I may be working on a project I’ve been putting off, so my intention is Diligence. Or, I am anxious about something so my intention becomes Peace. I design intentions to fit what I need in that moment or that day.

But sometimes, I am delighted to summon my intention from deep within. I have nothing top of mind and I allow my authentic self to create the intention based on that intuitive knowing of exactly what I need.

Today, my intention was just that. It came to me before I even asked or considered what it might be. And it was

REMEMBER YOUR WORTH 

When it came to my mind, I realized it was exactly what I need today. Maybe for a few days, as a matter of fact.

I’ve been preparing to facilitate a training I’ve never done before. At the same time, I am struggling with a project that isn’t coming together as easily as I’d hoped and believed it would. My doubts about myself cloud my mind and thoughts that aren’t particularly kind swirl in and out of my consciousness. I feel inner turmoil, criticism, anxiety, sadness and above all, self-doubt.

Someone very close to me has reminded me frequently that I am a great trainer. That I am very powerful when I am ‘in my element.’ And I do get energy from training and facilitating a growth mindset for clients. In other words, she’s been telling me to Remember My Worth.

And now, my essential self is telling me too.

It’s time to pay attention and remember all those times I HAVE succeeded in facilitating a training I’ve never done before. And I HAVE pulled off a project at the last minute – time and time again. I have all the tools and resources I need to be successful. I have a strong WHY for all of the things I am currently doing – and the why is bigger than me. It touches so many others and creates a ripple effect as it all launches and flows into the lives of others, many lives that are unknown to me. And that makes me very happy.

So what comes up for you when you see those words

What is it about you that is worth more than you realize? What do others tell you that you often can’t integrate into your own belief and possibility?

Reach back today and think about the times in your life that you have succeeded time and time again at something. Especially if that something still causes you to doubt yourself or feel anxious about what you are longing to do.

When you feel the weight of something, remember your worth.

When you question whether you can do something, remember your worth.

When you feel hopeless, remember your worth.

It’s there. It runs in your subconscious.

You just have to call it and let it stay, like a faithful friend.

Instruments of Grace

Recently, I posted on Facebook that I am reading Waking Up in Winter by Cheryl Richardson. In truth, I am listening to it on Audiobook, which is always nicer when it’s read by the author. I’m enjoying this book so far – it’s very different from her others because it’s a journaled memoir. At the start of the book, she mentions that her husband reminded her of her love for May Sarton’s journals, so she structured this new book in much the same way.

The added gift for me in all of this is that it reminded me of my own love of May Sarton’s journals and that I have had Journal of a Solitude in my Kindle library for quite awhile. I used to own Plant Dreaming Deep and lost my copy of it to the storm all those years ago. “Why haven’t I read this one yet?” I wondered to myself.

Fast forward a few days when I decide to pick up Journal of a Solitude while simultaneously reading Waking Up in Winter. Reading them both is a great way of caring for myself during this introspective time of the year. Lately, I’ve felt a yearning inside of me, but I wasn’t quite sure what I was longing for. Reading both of these books seemed like a good place to discover what’s been missing.

What these two memoirs have given me so far is a reminder to notice the beauty that is all around me. I can get very distracted by work, time commitments, and a desire to do all the things I want to do. And those distractions keep me from really noticing the silky golden beauty of my granddaughter’s hair or the perfect grace of my cat’s leap onto the couch just before he snuggles next to me.

While uncovering and re-positioning plants after the latest freeze, I noticed how the Jasmine’s leaves are still so shiny and was reminded that we will soon see the tiny buds of her flowers begin to show. ( I am so grateful she didn’t wither away during this cold winter we’ve been having.)

Mardi Gras is early this year, so I am delighted by social media photos of the vibrant colors on glorious Carnival ball gowns. And the familiar Zydeco music on my Pandora playlist begins to fill my office because I am ready to wake up a little myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This morning I made a new chili recipe and I was happy to see the mix of yellow corn, red tomatoes and black beans. And the smell of Coriander and Cumin are all around me as I write this post.

I don’t like getting so caught up with the every day routine of life that I forget to notice and articulate the beautiful things that surround me.

Even before I recognized what was happening, I was drawn to the simple beauty of the blog, videos and Instagram photos of A Wooden Nest. Seeing the simple made wonderful in knitting a pair of socks or making a pot of oatmeal made me instantly connect with this woman’s work.

Once I connected with the realization that I was craving simple beauty, it all made sense. The journal memoirs, the videos and the enjoyment of being outside again after weeks and weeks of bitter cold weather – I needed to pay attention to all of it.

Noticing creates connections to those things I love – those things I am craving. Beauty brings me back to myself.

May Sarton said “Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.”

So that’s my deeper intention for this little while – to slow down and force patience. To seek out the instruments of grace that surround me.

Now that I’ve opened my eyes, they won’t be hard to find.

The  Gratitude Jar for The Relationship (with ourselves and with others)

A few months ago, a student mentioned to me that she was very excited about New Year’s Eve. I asked what special plans they had for the evening and she said it was very simple and low-key. “Each year, we put memories, thoughts or gratitudes into a big jar whenever we feel led to write them down, and we open it and read them on the last day of the year. We reflect on what went well and what we did together.”

This practice stayed in the back of my mind. Then the inviteCHANGE monthly webinar for January was on Incorporating Gratitude. When I hear something more than once, it’s time to pay attention to the lesson.

I’m pretty connected to gratitude as a daily practice, though it’s mostly in the form of gratitude journaling in my morning pages as well as noting the best parts of our day in a conversation that’s usually held during dinner time. But that can sometimes feel very routine.

Fast forward to my work with a relationship client and I mention that it might be helpful to start a Gratitude Jar. But, I suggest they not wait till the end of the year to take a look at it.

Several people in my life have begun this practice of capturing happy thoughts, memories, stories, etc. in a nearby jar. My daughter was gifted a Happy Memories jar by one of her co-workers. I immediately took advantage of her gift and stuck a note inside for her as well. She just takes one out when she feels like she needs or wants to read one the most.

So when I began writing this blog post, I really intended it to focus on how gratitude can improve our relationships with others. But frankly, beyond that, it really changes our own relationship with self – with awareness of what’s going well, which in turn leads us to moving into patterns that help us do well.

We can spend a lot of time complaining about what isn’t right or what doesn’t work. We can see examples of this in our own conversations with others, with social media conversations, in newspapers and on television.

Statements of gratitude help us to see that the world is a good place. That good things really do happen. We then, in turn, learn to see the good things more often, or at least AS often, as the not so good things.

It also helps us to remember what we are doing well, rather than always seeing those parts of us that we are most often critical about. We speak to self in ways we would never speak to friends or family. What if you picked one thing about your body, mind, spirit or character that you are grateful for every day? What if you noticed when you were kind to others or when you fulfilled a promise to do something for yourself? What if you said, “I am grateful for my work ethic – I showed up to work today even though I wanted to stay in bed and read a good book.”

Is it time for you to start a practice of self or relationship gratitude? Or if you already have a practice, is it time to add another component to it?

I’m looking for a pretty jar that can contain all the gratitude and happiness I can find. I’ll let you know when I find the perfect jar. But for now, I can start writing my gratitude on a tiny slip of paper right now.

I Do It Because I Like This Kind Of Life

About 10 years ago, I read Julia Cameron’s seminal work called The Artist’s Way. The introduction began with her assignment to do something called Morning Pages, where you hand write three pages each morning. I did it for the six weeks of the program and beyond. In fact, since that time, there have been maybe less than 10 days that I haven’t gotten up to do morning pages.

Morning pages are definitely a habit for me now. But they take a good bit of effort, when I really think about it. I have to get up early sometimes to catch a flight or to drive to a client appointment. On vacation, I may want to get up early and have breakfast in whatever city we find ourselves visiting. But for some reason, morning pages are the way I operate now and they can’t be skipped. So I adjust my waking time to make sure that it happens – three pages, with my coffee, in the same seat every day.

After all this time, morning pages help me wake up properly. They are a definite part of my self care routine. And one of my ten daily habits that I don’t often break. Why? Because I can’t. I just know that I can’t. It’s become so ingrained in my daily routine that I can’t let it go.

What parts of your daily routine are so ingrained that you can’t skip them? For some people I know, it’s a morning walk, a devotional or motivational reading. Maybe it’s quiet time catching up with your spouse, partner or child. Maybe sitting on your porch watching the sunset or the moon rise.

Or maybe you don’t have a habit like this but are already thinking about what that might look like. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time – it can be very quick but it could be very meaningful.

I served in leadership and mentoring role once with a man who was a nonprofit executive. He spent 20 minutes every day without fail reading something that helped him to do his work more effectively or efficiently. I realized recently  that my clients who are feeling the most successful are those who can point to daily habits that help them start the day off in a ritualistic and satisfying way.

I saw this quote recently and realized it really describes how I feel about my morning routine. Warren Buffet said,

“I insist on a lot of time being spent, almost every day, to just sit and think. That is very uncommon in American business. I read and think. So I do more reading and thinking, and make less impulse decisions than most people in business. I do it because I like this kind of life.”

I guess that’s really why I continue to spend time on my morning pages.

I do it because I like this kind of life. 

My current journal