Chances are if you go shopping today, you will encounter aisles filled with last minute shoppers searching for the perfect greeting card with an Mp3 song that expresses a beautiful or funny sentiment. Or maybe you’ll notice large stuffed animals with a message embroidered on a large heart carried between their furry paws. If you love chocolates, I hope you get a great big box of chewy caramels or chocolate covered peanut clusters! Pierre Reverdy said “There is no love; there are only proofs of love.” Whatever love might be felt in the heart, we use this day as a way of expressing that love to others through gifts and special treatment.

Yet many jilted lovers will spend the day trying not to cry at their desks or listening to their ‘angry break up song playlist’ on their iPod. Thanks to Adele, many of them now have anthems they can listen to over and over as they try to get over the love they’ve lost. Today, lots of people will express the belief that true love begins with self love. But do they really believe that?

As a coach, I have to say that I do. I have seen countless examples where people took the time to work on their own self-loving, self-care plan, only to come out on the other side with the surprising realization that their relationships blossomed, deepened, or shifted into a place that really began to fulfill their needs and expectations. Self love really does deepen the experience of loving another. And we don’t typically show ourselves many proofs of self love.

Here’s what I’d like you to take on today. I’d like you to agree to begin this Valentine’s Day to create a self-care plan for yourself. I’d like you to really think about one thing you could do each month to treat yourself more gently, more lovingly and with more self respect. At the end of the year, on February 14th 2013, review your year and see what you learned. Are you game?

And if you need some help along the way, that’s what I’m here for. I’ve been working on being more self-loving for awhile and I can tell you it has tremendous benefits! Even though I am lucky enough to have what Etta James called a “Sunday kind of love” with someone special, I am just as grateful that I finally know what it means to love myself and to put myself on the list just as often as I care for others.

I hope you’ll show yourself some amazing Proofs of Love today. If you do, tell me about it by posting a comment here!