Enliven me, 2019!

 

It’s that time again! Time for me to reflect on the past year, and time for me to choose my One Little Word to guide me throughout the year ahead. You may remember this practice from a post last year.  This year, I’m doing a bit more reflection than usual, and will engage with Ali Edwards in her One Little Word class. It will allow me to intentionally live and express my word and create something meaningful that will last a lifetime and beyond.

But first, a wrap up. Last year’s word was Create and I feel like I want to remember a few things that stand out as I reflect on this word.

I created an environment that inspired and supported my creativity. My office/studio is totally fresh and new, and I enjoy every moment I spend here.

I created spaciousness in my closets and drawers and files and cabinets. And maybe even more importantly, I created spaciousness in my schedule.

I created opportunities to build my business in new ways and increase my income.

I created scrapbook layouts and mini albums for myself and for others.

I helped to create Hygge in our home, and created beautiful spaces for us to enjoy every day.

I created new systems and processes to manage the workflow, which inspired new systems and processes for the near year to come.

I created opportunities to partner and create with others, to celebrate with friends and to enjoy the place we live and the places we love to visit even more.

I created a deeper love and trust in my relationships, leaning in to my own authentic voice and listening for that voice in others.

There’s even more, but I feel like you get the picture and I’ve documented enough to be able to reflect even more on this first day of a brand new year.

After much thought, the word I’ve chosen this year is Enliven. I was leaning toward another “E-Word” (Enough) when I received an email from my team leader at inviteCHANGE, where I am a part of an amazing group of coaches. She wrote, “Congratulations Laurie and it’s so fun to witness you enlivened and vital!”

When I am feeling enlivened, I am exhilarated and feel like I am operating at my highest potential. It’s a total elevation – a place I rise up to. And I think it is there that I am the most inspired and intuitive, probably because I’m connected to my magical child. I want to connect with her much more often.

After seeing mentor’s email, I knew that Enliven was just the right word for me in 2019. So, I’m going to take this on and carry it with me. Who knows what this new year will bring? How can it be anything but spectacular with this One Little Word by my side?

What’s Your One Little Word?

 

 

The Possibilities are…Infinite

A few months ago, I was sitting on the couch in my library, writing email copy or a blog post. I saw a notification of an email from Mike Dooley, “the Universe guy,” about a training in New Orleans.

Now, I’ve been a fan of Mike Dooley’s for a very long time. I’ve subscribed to his Notes From The Universe for probably ten years. I give away the small book versions as gifts quite often. I even had an opportunity to see him speak live once and it was an amazing experience.

I clicked to read the email and I did something I almost never do. I decided within moments to submit a registration for this event.

I didn’t think about it much or try to talk myself out of it or into it. I felt the excitement grow as I read through the description and then automatically started typing and CLICK!  I knew it was meant for me, right here in the area near where I live – right now as I am shaping this business into exactly what I want it to be.

As the days approached for me to leave, I did start to think, “Wow. What if this isn’t all you want it to be? What made you just say yes so fast? You didn’t even really think this through!!” I started to worry about parking, whether to uber back and forth, what to wear. What if I became anxious and introverted Laurie resisted interacting with others?

What happened when I got there was an instant knowing that I was in the right place for the right reasons with the right people. I signed in and then headed out for a quick dinner. Someone walked into the restaurant and I saw her name badge. “Would you like to join me?” I asked. She did and she was amazing. A yoga teacher from California named Frances, like my mother.

And then it began. This wasn’t a training based on his material and created/delivered by someone else. This was a hands-on experience led by Mike Dooley himself. There were previously certified trainers who genuinely showed up just to inspire us and cheer us on.  They played the same music I play on my morning playlist. They laughed and danced and cheered and motivated and shared deeply personal stories of their own journey to creating the life they want to live. It was joyful.

I realized that these are my people. I was in a large meeting room surrounded by people I’d never met who were suddenly not strangers at all. They were instantly a part of my tribe.

There was a ton of information and resources to replicate this training here in person, online or on a retreat. Because like-minded lovely people filled my space, I felt loved and accepted and enough. (Because if you’re like me, you’ve probably been to a training or two where this is NOT how you feel at the end of the day.)

So day two, Frances says “Hey! What if we did a retreat together on Mykonos Island? Or Maui? We can combine it with yoga and mindfulness practice!” Yes! Absolutely Yes!

The possibilities seemed….well….Infinite.

Which isn’t surprising since the training is based on his best-selling book, Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Living Your Dreams.

So stay tuned, my faithful adventurers. We’re going to do great things together. And we might just be doing them while enjoying a stunning view.

Self Care for the Holidays

Today begins a series of blog posts about taking good care of yourself as you prepare for the holidays. And read all the way to the end to register for a free workshop on this topic!

Of all the times of the year, the holiday season can be one of the most busy and, therefore, stressful. We can take on a lot. We can have high expectations. We can encounter difficulties in relationships with others who are stressed and carrying high expectations.

One of the most joyful times of the year can often be fraught with sadness and disappointment.

Add in the fact that for some, the end of the year brings additional stresses at work as there can be more planning, more reporting, more covering for those who take time off and more.

So what can you do to prepare for the holiday season?

The first step is to be more mindful. If you are aware of what could get in the way or create more stress and overwhelm, you are more likely to respond to things rather than to react.

One of the ways I suggest becoming more mindful is to take a few moments to think about what you’d like your intention for the season to be.

Your intention is a statement or series of statements about how you’d like to feel while you are gathering with friends and family or engaging in holiday events. You can also incorporate how you would like others to feel in your intentions.

For example, you may want to feel joyful, relaxed and engaged with others. Perhaps you’d like your presence with your family to be felt as though you are connected to them, listening to them and enjoying your time with them. Maybe you’d like to be responsive to your needs and to the needs of others by giving and receiving love and joy.

Take a few moments to think about what your intention is this holiday season. At the end of 2017, what would you like to say about your holiday time?

Now, take a moment to cull your statement down to one main word. Maybe it’s Joy. Perhaps you want to feel Present. Or Connected. Write that word down on an index card or a piece of paper and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day. Maybe on your bathroom mirror or your refrigerator. Each time you see your intention, it will help you stay connected to it – to remember that this is the way you have decided you want to feel.

For extra help in this area, journal for a few moments each day and think of three ways in which you could realize that intention. Or at the end of each day, you may want to reflect back and think of ways in which you felt your word come to life that day and plan a few ways for the day ahead.

I’d love to hear what intentions you’ve created! Just comment on this blog post or on Facebook and let me know what you want this holiday season.

To help you with more self care tips for the holiday season, I’m hosting a free mini-workshop on Tuesday, November 14th at 8pm EST/7pm CST. This workshop will be delivered via conference call so you’ll need to register to get the call-in details.

You can register by emailing me at lauriejohnson@4elementscoaching.com with Register Me in the subject line.

Or go to our Contact Us page here on the website and put Self Care for the Holidays in the subject line and Register Me in the message.

When someone changes your life, you honor them.

Years ago, a girl who worked with me introduced me to the work of a woman named Louise Hay. Linda was leaving our company and I remember going to Barnes and Noble to buy her a going away gift of some of Louise’s books, because she often talked about how much her work had helped her. Even after that endorsement, I wouldn’t take a real look at anything Louise had written for years.

I can’t exactly recall how it happened, but I was reminded of her again just before or just after I discovered the idea that coaching might be a way for me to move forward after Katrina.  First, someone else I knew said, “Have you read anything by Louise Hay?” And then a few weeks later, my first coach quoted Louise in a session. She then told me that Louise had an online radio station called Hay House Radio and it featured a coach whose work I also admired, Cheryl Richardson, and a guy whose work I had discovered in college named Wayne Dyer. She said, “If you’re willing to take a look at this, let’s talk about it next week and how it might speak to your current dissatisfaction with what you’re doing.”

To say I looked is an understatement. I devoured Hay House Radio and ordered one of her books. I downloaded podcasts featuring all of them and listened whenever I was in the car. They all said things I had no doubt heard before, but that at a time that I wasn’t really listening the way I was then. I was ready. It was time to change my thoughts and to change my life.

Where I am today in my work and in my beliefs about myself are like night and day. My thoughts aren’t perfectly positive every day – in fact, far from it! I’m just more aware of them most days. Some days are still crumple and cry days for sure. But I’m always moving forward…always equipped with this one key to success. Thoughts are things. What you think about comes about. Because when you change your thoughts, you change the way you feel. And when you change the way you feel, your level of self love, happiness, presence, and belief and hope changes the way everything else unfolds for you.

I’d heard these concepts in church when I was a child, but the way these teachers described these concepts made it all connect for me. It wasn’t woo woo or metaphysical to me, but a practical application of the same principles that had been written and practiced by thought leaders, disciples, priests and kings.

I began gratitude journaling daily. I repeated daily affirmations as a way of taking what I used to think of as prayer into a whole new level. I learned that believing something could happen was the first step, followed by actions, and then miracles would follow. And they have.

Wayne died two years ago yesterday, leaving behind a legacy of written and spoken words.

Louise died yesterday at the age of 90. Exactly two years to the day after we lost Wayne. They were colleagues, friends, and faithful supporters of each other’s work. I can’t imagine their joy at being reunited again.

If you’ve never picked up one of Louise’s books (or Wayne’s)  or listened to one of her audio or video presentations, I encourage you to do so. Her life story is incredible to hear.

But today, I just want to take a moment to use my words to honor a woman I never met and to be grateful for all that she was to me. To say that she changed my life is also an understatement. My 4 Elements for Success are based on these principles that I learned and used to create my business. I wouldn’t be where I am today, sitting on my couch in a home that is perfect for me doing work that I love more than anything I’ve ever done, without the wisdom this woman shared with me and with the world.

 

Summer of Self Care – Day 19

Decluttering Your Mind

 

There is so much research on the benefits of meditation – in fact, there are over 3000 scientific studies that you can access here.

Meditation helps you focus and increases memory, brings you a feeling of calm and reduces blood pressure, enhances self-esteem and self-acceptance, and lessens anxiety.

So if meditation is so helpful, why aren’t all of us doing it every day?

I’m not sure. I struggle with a daily practice as well, especially when I need it the most! I think we just don’t put the things we need to be calm and centered on the same priority list as those things we need to make money, care for others or manage a household. We think it’s less important somehow to make self care a priority. Or maybe we picture a guru sitting on a meditation cushion for hours at a time and that doesn’t feel right for us. But even just five minute or less of daily meditation brings the same benefits as a much longer practice.

I have discovered I am more likely to meditate when I add it to the end of my morning yoga routine. It’s a natural fit for me and I just add about five minutes to the end of my practice. Some people feel that they are most successful when the meditate before ever getting out of bed.

What I do know is that it’s one of the best self care activities for decluttering our mind of intrusive thoughts which can generally make us feel out of sorts. But eliminating those thoughts doesn’t happen immediately. This definitely takes practice.

Let me tell you how easy this can be. You can set a reminder in your electronic calendar or on your paper planner to meditate at a certain time every day or every other day. You can just find a few quiet moments somewhere comfortable in your home and do it yourself. Or, if you want to take advantage of electronic apps, here are a few I have used:

Smiling Mind (which is also tied to a research project!)
Insight Timer
https://www.calm.com/meditate

Remember – using electronic versions of meditation tools may not mean your phone won’t ring or your text and email notifications will stop. You may have to mute or turn off a few things to make sure you have uninterrupted time.

Just want to spend a few moments taking some deep breaths? Try the My Calm Beat App, which lets you choose your breathing rate per minute and gives you a tone when it’s time to breathe in and another when it’s time to breathe out.

Commit to four days at first – what Martha Beck calls a Four Day Win. Once you’ve meditated for four days, congratulate yourself. Reward yourself with something small but significant. And then commit to another four days. And then another four and so on. After about seven of these small commitments, you’ll have an entire month of meditation practice!

After about 12 days, think about how you feel – do you notice any changes in your thought patterns, focus, memory or sense of calm?

Still having trouble? Get yourself an accountability buddy who will check in with you to make sure you completed your daily or four-day commitment.

I’m off to take five and make my morning meditation time a priority.

Summer of Self Care – Day 9

Tech Free Day 

Our lives are full of technology.

 

Here’s a gift of self care you can give yourself every week, month or for a few hours whenever you need it most. A Tech Free Day can be one of the slowest and most peaceful days you’ve spent in a long while.

Years ago, I discovered a blog post by Tiffany Schlain about her Technology Shabbats and we decided to give it a try. We picked a Friday night at sundown, even though we aren’t Jewish, and made sure to inform family members that we would be unplugged and would appreciate text or call silence unless there was an emergency.

The result? From Friday night sundown to Saturday night sundown was the slowest 24 hour period we could remember experiencing for a very long time. We were more connected to each other and present. We created new ways to spend our time. We were more mindful of just how we were spending our time AND how much of our thoughts centered around an automatic desire to look something up on the phone or to turn on the television.

It was bliss. It was awkward. It was funny and sad and made us think about how really disconnecting technology can be. For devices that are meant to connect us with information and entertainment and service or support, they sure are keeping us from connecting in a meaningful way with ourselves and others.

I can’t stress how slowly time passes without an iPhone, iPad, television, radio, or E-reader.

For me, unplugging now and again is a self care habit. It forces me to get quiet with myself and those around me. It promotes extreme mindfulness. It relaxes me.

Now, I know what you’re saying – “I can’t have a Tech Free Day today because I am already reading this email in my inbox or looking at this post on Facebook!”  I get it.

So you have a couple of options:

  1. Start your Tech Free Day some time today when you can and commit to 24 hours.
  2. Schedule your Tech Free Day for some time before the end of our #SummerofSelfCare2017
  3. Take a Tech Free half day, or even just a couple of hours.

Spend a little time journaling during your tech free experience. Write down how it feels.  Whether this is something you want to do again. Whether you want your entire family to participate or you just want to go tech free alone. What would you like to experience tech free? Do you want to do this every week, month, or just when you really need it? Or do you never want to do this again. Could this be a regular self care practice for you?

If you’ve had to schedule a future Tech Free Day, what do you want to put in place to honor it? If you work at a job where you are on-call, can you switch with someone else? Set up a stronger boundary with colleagues?

You decide whether you feel comfortable leaving your phone somewhere you absolutely can’t access it. See how taking a walk or going somewhere without your phone feels to you.

Now, if you’re a caregiver, that may not be an option. But you can put it on silent and put it in your pocket, so you’ll get the vibration notice if need be but otherwise ignore. I would also encourage you to find someone you trust to provide respite care for you that will not text or call you unless absolutely necessary.

Will your family or friends forget sometimes and text you by mistake? Yes. Just assess if it’s an emergency, remind them gently that you are unplugged and carry on.

Can you combine a Tech Free Day in the future with a day trip, a weekend away or even an entire vacation? We took a Tech Free weekend to a local tourist destination once and it was lovely.  I’ve also used Tech Free Day as a reward after a huge project or event. What about a Tech Free Day plus a massage?

In the summer, Tech Free Days can be especially wonderful if you spend time swimming, hiking, biking or reading. (See Summer of Self Care Day 7 which can be replicated any day you choose.)

Now, in the spirit of walking my talk, I am on a Tech Free Day today as well. This is possible for me because some technologies feature scheduling options. I am enjoying being unplugged.

Enjoy the silence that happens when time feels like it stands still.

 

 

I’ve never seen a rule book about meditation.

This is Part One of a series of posts about decluttering your mind, your time and your stuff. If you have a topic about time ownership, organizing, mindfulness or whatever comes to mind, I’ll take a shot at covering it. Just comment below.

During the start of a year, I really like thinking of processes and systems that will help me organize my mind, my time and my stuff. My mind often feels more crowded than my planner or my office cabinets. I work with clients a lot around decluttering their minds. And my own coach helps me get rid of the thoughts that are crowding in or limiting me.

Whenever I am coached around mindfulness, I get that nagging thought that rears up it’s judgemental, tilted little head. “You know how important meditation is to success and well-being? Why aren’t you doing it every day, Laurie?”

I do meditate – probably more frequently than a lot of people do. I just have this sense that I would be better off if I meditated every single day. And as much as I love meditation, it does feel difficult to keep up a daily practice. I try to remember how I created dedicated time for my morning pages ritual all those years ago. What makes me automatically get up, make the coffee, and begin journaling every single day of my life, but stops me from moving into a few moments of meditation right after? How can this be so difficult for me when it seems so simple?

I think the answer is because I am making it so difficult. I complicate the idea of meditating with the notion that I have to do it in a particular way, or for a defined length of time. I believe I have to be alone, sitting comfortably, free of any distraction from my partner or my dogs. (Okay, maybe I do need to be away from Agnes, but…) I can’t meditate if my neighbor has workers sawing on something, right? Lots of dos and don’ts there.

And then my mind travels to, “It should be at LEAST 5 minutes. And you really should do yoga first.” I hate it when I should on myself.

The truth is, I could just take 60 seconds after I finish my morning pages and do some deep breathing. And that 60 seconds might expand into 5 minutes one day. And that 5 minutes might expand into 15 minutes plus yoga. Or it might not. Ever. It might just stay at 60 seconds. But isn’t that still meditation?

Meditation doesn’t have to include big, plushy floor pillows, an altar with incense or a chime that signals the start and end of the practice. I don’t have to go to Bali to begin or even get up off the couch I journal on each day. I’ve never seen a rule book about meditation. There might be one, I suppose. But I doubt it.

My meditation time just has to include two things:

1) Me
2) Meditation

I think I’ll start meditating right after I finish typing this post. Why wait till tomorrow morning?

 

 

Book Review – Five Good Minutes at Work

Five Good Minutes at Work

Title: Five good Minutes At Work

Authors: Jeffrey Brantley, MD & Wendy Millstine

ISBN: 978-1-60671-240-5 (Note – this cover image  is from a different version than the one I am providing detail for here.)

Published 2007 MJF Books in arrangement with New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

(previous edition published in paperback.)

Rating: 

As promised, I am providing a review of this book. The authors have several Five Good Minutes books for you to check out if you’re interested.

I first became aware of their work when I received Five Good Minutes in the Morning as a gift one Christmas. Several years ago, I left a rather difficult team meeting, browsed in Barnes and Noble’s bargain section and found the work version. I definitely needed it.

The writers bill the book as “100 mindful practices to help you relieve stress and bring your best to work.” There’s a Foundation chapter, followed by the Practices, which helps to introduce you to the benefits of mindfulness, breathing, listening and being present. The rest of the short practices are divided into these sections:

  • Doing Your Work More Effectively
  • Reducing Stress at Work
  • Working More Intelligently and Compassionately With Others
  • Travel, Deadlines, Frustrations and Other Opportunities

As a coach, I really see the value in these practices and can say, first-hand, that I benefitted greatly from them as I struggled to stay engaged with a dysfunctional team for several months before leaving that position. Yes, there are a lot of practices that deal with working with others. But that isn’t the main focus here. Many of them help you deal with crisis, overwhelm, setting yourself up for a productive day and more.

The authors stress setting a daily intention, which, in my experience, is absolutely a habit that will bring you into more of an awareness of your purpose for the day and feeling as though you achieved it. There is a time during each piece for breath and affirmations like “Whoops! I’m human. I’m fallible. I make mistakes just like everyone else. I accept this inevitability.” You know I believe in positive affirmations, and I think getting in touch with this reality is a very positive thing. We set ourselves up for failure when we set ourselves up for perfection. A potential downside is that some of the affirmations or meditations can seem a bit repetitive. For some folks, this may be helpful as this makes it easy to practice and remember what to say each day. For others, it may be more redundant than you’d like.

I have a lot of daily meditation type books that I love. But sometimes, reading one every day is overwhelming too. This book isn’t 365 days worth of practices – just whenever I decide to pick it up will do. Personally, I generally pick it up when I’m NOT having five good minutes. But maybe that’s when I need it the most.