Tag Archives: resources

How to Get Neighbors Involved in Long-Distance Caregiving

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A real treat today for me and for you. As you know, caregiver support and caregiving resources are two of my passions. And this article truly speaks to me as the community of care we were able to develop around my mother allowed her to stay in her home independently much longer than she would have without their support. Guest blogger Claire Wentz from Caring from Afar shares some helpful information about how to build that community.

 

Photo Credit: Pixabay.com

It’s hard to watch the woman or man who took care of you for so long become dependent upon you for basic care: making sure there are groceries in the house, checking for any wounds or bruising on their skin, changing the bed sheets, washing clothes, cleaning the house, managing money, and more. It’s even tougher when you live far away and you have to hope that your aged parent can still fix a meal or remember to take their medicine.

What’s more, these people don’t necessarily have to be your parents. They could be grandparents, aunts or uncles, or even older friends. In any case, if you live more than an hour away and you have been tasked with taking care of them, you are, according to the National Institute on Aging, considered to be a long-distance caregiver. And as Michael O. Schroederstates in U.S. News & World Report, the demand for caregivers is increasing as the population ages.

While you might feel you are the only one available to provide care, you actually do have allies who can help: your loved one’s neighbors. They can be your eyes and hands while you’re away,  and they might need to do a little more than simply knock on the door once a day to make sure everything’s okay. You will need to enlist them to actively help care for your loved one.

If the neighbors have lived next door or across the street from your loved one for many years, getting them to help might not be an issue. However, if you don’t know them, or if they’re new to the neighborhood, you’ll need to introduce yourself and explain what you need.  Here are some ways to set upa neighbor caregiving network.

  • Introduce Yourself and Completely Explain the Situation

If your loved one is a parent and the neighbors have known you for years, this should not be a problem. However, for newer neighbors, or if the loved one isn’t a parent, you’ll need to pay a visit and tell them about your loved one’s condition. If the neighbor agrees to help but isn’t familiar with your loved one, take the neighbor over to their house and have them meet.

Generally, try to get help from the neighbors on either side of your loved one’s house and maybe two others across the street. If there is a church in the neighborhood, speak with the pastor or church secretary. They might be able to recruit a volunteer to join your caregiver team.

  • Set Up a Meeting

Once you have your team set, hold a short meeting to discuss what is needed and which days each neighbor can check on your loved one. Prepare a list of daily tasksto perform. Ask the neighbors if they’re comfortable with performing such tasks as helping your loved one use the bathroom and cleaning up if there are any mishaps. Prepare a list of emergency numbers (your home and cell phone, the doctor’s, the pharmacy’s, each other’s, and another relative). Also, make sure they have your email address. Tell them when and how often you plan to visit. If they ever need to pay for something for your loved one, promise them you’ll reimburse them.

Don’t forget to give your allies small tokens of thanks for their help. Restaurant gift cards are always appreciated and welcomed.

  • Consider Live-In Care and Other Resources

If your loved one is in a location where there aren’t any or many close neighbors, live-in care — or even moving inwith a roommate — might be the best option. According to the Huffington Post, you can use either a home health agency or directly hirea caregiver. Other resourcesinclude companionship services, meal programs, and even organizations that provide care for those with specific diseases such as cancer or Alzheimer’s.

You put a lot of yourself into the care of your loved one, but having a network of neighborly allies can ease the burden of caregiving if you live far away.

 

 

Summer of Self Care – Day 31

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You Matter 

We’ve been through 31 days of the Summer of Self Care together and covered 30 different topics or ideas for you to add to a regular self care plan. Of course, your self care plan will ebb and flow with the seasons, with the changes that show up in your life or with your health.

It is my deepest hope that you have benefitted from this program and will continually look at self care in a different way. Hopefully, practicing self care will become a daily habit for you. Maybe you have learned a lot about yourself and will continue to learn more as you engage in journaling and reflecting. Undoubtedly, you may have had difficulty practicing each prompt and that’s perfectly okay. One of the purposes of this month-long exercise was to create some regular self care time, but also some ideas for when you only have a moment to pop on a playlist or when you have an entire weekend that can be dedicated to a retreat.

The feedback I got from some of you affirms that self care is something that resonates with most of us. We all seem to be bouncing from one stressful thing to another busy thing and have difficulty focusing on what we really need to be centered and grounded.

Several posts stood out as most popular in our series – The art of saying no, dancing whenever you feel like it, creating Tech Free days, a day of play and the Comfort Bag were the favorites.

A couple of you emailed that you were sharing these ideas with your friends and found a Self Care Accountability Buddy, which will definitely help you as you continue to make self care a big part of your routine.

Caregivers, I hear you! I see you! I honor the work that you are doing for others and hope you will carve out a little space for yourself every single day. I encourage you to put yourself on the list – yes, there’s a lot going on and much of it is critical, unexpected and ever-changing. But if you don’t take care of yourself, you absolutely can’t take care of others.

For me personally, it was ironic and comforting that I started this Summer of Self Care at the same time we began a summer DIY flooring project. I needed to practice extreme self care often during this month as we learned how to install drop/lock flooring, learned how to respond to the discovery of an old water leak and some resulting mold in a half bath. I also got to spend lots of time with my granddaughter for her annual BacktoSchoolPalooza and realized that, for me, spending time with her is an act of self care. She reminds me to laugh and play and make time for the things that are important.

If you google self care or put self care in the search box on amazon.com, you will find a ton of resources, books and other items that will expand your knowledge on this topic. But I encourage you to listen to your intuition, your heart, your inner voice that carries all the wisdom you need to know what to do in each moment that you need care.

Every moment can be a moment of self care – that just takes awareness. Awareness of our thoughts, our words and the way we respond.

It was an honor to spend each day with you in self care practice. I wish you all the best as you continue on this journey of kindness, love and support for You. Not always Just for You, but always Including You. Because, as my sweet neighbor Barbara reminds all of us:

The Power of a Notebook

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One of my favorite notebooks – Laurel Burch designs always make me happy.

You may think I’m going to talk about the famous Nicolas Sparks movie that everyone loves and correlate it to everyday life. But, no.

I’m talking about the power of keeping a notebook by your side, everywhere you go, to record your thoughts, ideas, learning points, motivational quotes, dreams, goals and connections.

The power of a notebook is simple and yet so profound. If you carry around a small pad with you everywhere you go, nothing you ever think, hear or say is lost to you. You never have to worry about whether it will come back around again or what happens if you forget it completely. It’s there – in ink. Until you decide to deal with it.

And I am a big believer in carrying one with you to meetings, keeping one on your desk, in your car, in your purse, on your nightstand – everywhere you may need one in case something sparks.

And don’t forget the ‘dealing with it’ part. It’s not enough to keep writing things down. You have to do something with them or those ideas are no good to you.

So here’s an example of what’s in one of the notebooks that I carry around:

Notes from a Women Entrepreneurs’ meeting in May about the Imposter Syndrome, minutes from a board I serve as Secretary, notes from a conference call for a client, ideas for speakers for my podcast, Just 5 Minutes blog ideas, a couple of quotes and some personal goals. In another notebook, I keep notes on books I am reading and books I want to read during the month. (yeah, bookish girls make monthly book goals).  The notebook by my bed ensures I remember dreams or other thoughts and ideas I have while I am just waking up or about to go to sleep.

I also write Morning Pages every morning  and sometimes have ideas while I am journaling (I have done Morning Pages, inspired by Julia Cameron’s work for over 10 years – see here for more).  But I can’t keep them in that space because I’d have to remember what day I had the idea. I simply transfer the idea to the notebook that’s the best fit and I’m all set.

What happens to those notes? I pull out and file the Imposter Syndrome notes to use for clients or for a future workshop topic. I type out the board minutes and mark them as done. I act on the conference call notes, speakers, and blog ideas.  I make the quotes into Memes for social media and I transfer the personal goals to my planner if they are a monthly goal or to my year-long plan if they are long-term.

Notes can also be delegated to someone else – staff, friends, family members, colleagues – whoever might be able to execute a task or move an idea into production.

If you review the notes and decide you really don’t want to do anything with that idea, you have a couple of options: discard it forever or give it to someone else who might want to act on it. That’s easy for me because I often think of ideas that will help my clients and this is a great way for me to remember those ideas between sessions.

Personally, I collect notebooks so that I’m never without one when I need it most. The prettier they are, the more I love them. I have small ones, larger ones, spiral bound and staple bound. They don’t have to cost a lot. I’ve even found some cute little notebooks at the Dollar Store or in Target’s dollar bins.  Some of mine have gorgeous, textured or leather-bound covers. Others are plain and perfect in their simplicity.

 

Just a few of my current notebooks.

If this sounds like it will work for you, pull a notebook out of your supply cabinet or junk drawer. Or go pick one up at the store. And start recording those ideas that come to you while you are driving, eating or sleeping. You’ll be glad you did.

(And for those who don’t like the paper and pen kind of notetaking, use an app like Evernote or the Note pad on your phone. You can also record notes on your voice memo recorder as well. Just make sure you have it nearby when the inspiration strikes.)

 

 

Are You Ready To Make Your Life More Meaningful?

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Thanks to all of you who were able to join the call Monday night. I enjoyed the experience of sharing what I’ve learned and listening to your shares on the call and after. It’s clear that there is a desire inside of many of us to create lives that are deeply aligned to our passions and strengths. I hope I can help you discover how to design a more meaningful life design. If you weren’t able to join the call, here is the recording (feel free to save and listen again). 

Make it Meaningful Call Recording

I am starting a new Make it Meaningful Group that might be just what you need to begin designing your intentional life. 

The group begins on Wednesday, January 28th, 2015 at 8pm EST/7pm CST and lasts for three sessions. (Note that I had the date wrong on the call – it is WEDNESDAY, January 28th!) During these sessions, participants will discover: 

  • Values – what is it you truly value and how do you design your life and work to align with these important priorities. 
  • How to make a clean sweep – What’s cluttering up your life and your mind? How do you de-clutter and remove the things that you are tolerating? 
  • End Results – what do you want to do, have or be by the end of 2015? And how do you stay on track to make sure you get the results you’re looking for? 

This group is limited, so you’ll want to decide and register soon. If you sign up by January 27th, you will be able to participate for all three, one-hour sessions for just $150! This is a significant savings over my individual coaching fees and the most inexpensive group I have ever offered. . And if you want to experience coaching, but can’t afford individual coaching rates, this group might be the best way for you to experience coaching right now. 

In addition to the group coaching experience and assessments, group members will be linked to a closed Facebook group to share during the three months of sessions and beyond. And as more Make it Meaningful groups happen over the course of 2015, those members will be added as well. So for your investment of $150, you will get: 

  • Group Coaching – three one-hour sessions
  • Three assessments to help you get closer to understanding where you are and where you want to go;
  • Access to closed Facebook group for shares, wins, resources and motivation for as long as you want it;
  • Support from a trained and certified coach and other group participants; 
  • First chance at upcoming groups during the rest of this year; 
  • 10% Discount for three months of individual coaching fees if you decide to continue the coaching experience beyond or during the group. 
  • End of the year wrap up to check in and provide you with the opportunity to assess and set new meaningful goals for the coming year. 

So – are you ready to Make it Meaningful? Registration ends at 7pm on TUESDAY, January 27th, 2015. I hope you will join me for this life changing group. There is power in group coaching and in deciding you are ready to make a change! 

Sessions will be on the last Wednesday of every month: 

Wednesday, January 28th
Wednesday, February 25th
Wednesday, March 25th 

To register, call me at 228-467-8470, email me at LaurieJohnson@4elementscoaching.com or go to the Contact Us page and fill out the form to register. Make sure I have your name, phone number and email. I’ll contact you to make sure you are registered before the call.