Summer of Self Care – Day 5

Your Absolute YES! List 

Just Say Yes

 

Now that we have taken a few moments to look at how and when to say no, today we will look at what makes you say, “HECK YES!!!”  Because taking a look at your Absolute Yes List helps you remember what to say no to.

An Absolute Yes List is a list of those things that you know you will always say yes to. They may be things that are aligned with your values, work process, health care plan or your commitment to family.

 

For example, your Absolute Yes List might include:

 

  • I always take time for a lunch break to breathe and slow down.
  • We leave our phones at the door when we come together for dinner as a couple/family.
  • I work reasonable hours. On most days, I will arrive at _____ and leave by _____.
  • When entering my busy season at work, I will make time to walk for at least 15 minutes each day.
  • I will take at least one week of vacation time per year.
  • I have an open door policy.
  • I have an open door policy between the hours of ______.

You get the idea, right? What are those things that you will rarely compromise on?
And what are those opportunities that really light you up? How do you feel when you know you have been gifted with something you want to say an Absolute yes to?

When you take time to think of those things that make you want to say yes every time, and those things in your past that you have said yes to with absolutely no regret, you will be able to create a list of Absolute Yeses.

If you’re a Caregiver, there are things you can’t compromise on. If someone calls and says your parent, spouse, sister, etc. is in need of something immediately, you say Yes. And you go. Do. Handle.

But this also means you have to make room in your life for those Absolute Yeses so that you don’t feel so pulled and chaotic that those yeses make your whole day go off kilter.

Today, start what you think is your Absolute Yes List. It doesn’t have to be carved in stone and it certainly may change, especially if you are a Caregiver.

Think of what lights you up – what brings you the most joy or satisfaction? Is it time with a friend? Travel? A hobby? A collaboration?

What makes you want to say,

HECK YES!!!

(I recently purchased a T-shirt designed by Amy Tangerine. I love all of her stuff and she  collaborated on this project with My Cents of Style. I love this t-shirt because when I wear it, it makes me feel open to those things I want to say YES to. The other day, I was wearing it for the work day and later found myself with a few minutes to visit my granddaughters. My 10-year old granddaughter, Kandyce, said, “Grandmama, why does your t-shirt say, “Heck Yes?” I told her that it reminds me to consider those things that excite me the most and say yes to them – like a short visit to see her on a Friday afternoon. If you want a Heck Yes t-shirt, you can find it here!)

Get Your Ducks in a Row

I started my business full time a little over a year ago after a national nonprofit I worked for went through a restructuring. I had just gotten an exemplary yearly evaluation and a lovely bonus. Suddenly, I was offered a severance package and transitional services. It was a shock and I struggled to process what had happened while figuring out what was next.

I decided to just take the leap and do this thing that I love – coach full time. A short while later,  my coach was helping me work through this new development.  Not surprisingly, I expressed I was having some fear, grief, anger – all the things you would expect to feel.

My brilliant coach said, “So what’s your first next step? What are you feeling like you need to do?”

I replied, “I need to get my ducks in a row.” We then talked about what that meant. It could have included “busyness” like website redo, new business cards, systems and processes to build my capacity to serve more clients, etc. etc. Really Busy Stuff. But honestly, what it meant for me was first getting my head in the game. Aligning my mind and my business goals with what I want to do, my vision, my why, my business philosophy. My values.  Everything should be synced and pulling me forward.

A few days later, I found this.

My row of ducks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s weird about this little bit of pewter goodness is that in that moment, I truly didn’t remember EVER SEEING IT BEFORE. I just turned my head one day while journaling in my favorite chair and there it was, in the bookcase in front of some business books. Yes, that’s right. Business books.

I freaked out a little, I’m not going to lie. Where did this come from? How did it get here? It’s in front of my business books!!!

I began searching my brain and remembered where it came from. It belonged to my mother. Then I remembered even more – my sister gave it to her and it was especially meaningful  because mom had three girls. I probably found it in a large mass of boxes brought to my home after my mom died and decided hastily to pop it into the bookcase rather than donate or give it away. I have probably seen it hundreds of times but never really took it in.

In that moment, after I had declared to my coach that I needed to get my ducks in a row, it suddenly came into my view and I got it.

Magical.

Now, it became a symbol for what I needed to do.

Fast forward to now, just a few months past my one year, full-time business anniversary, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what I’ve accomplished, what I haven’t accomplished (I spend way too much time on that one) and what I‘ve learned.  Oh, the learning.

I was cleaning and decluttering my desk the other day and moved my laptop and found the little ducks again. There they were – there they always are – reminding me. A little talisman.

“Get your ducks in a row, Laurie.”

It’s an ongoing process, right? It isn’t ever really over. Sometimes my ducks walk out of line.

Like recently, when I made a decision about an opportunity that was so out of line that I almost instantly realized I needed to pull that duck back in. Every day that duck was out of line was a struggle for me.  I made an impulsive decision that wasn’t aligned with my overall vision. And I knew I needed to let it go.

You see, I have this list of things that I usually go by in order to decide if something is right for me. An opportunity has to tick all these boxes. This one didn’t really tick any of them.

So, I am letting go of the regret and blaming I was doing about taking this thing on in the first place. Because I have discovered that while this detour was all wrong for me, it has taught me a lot more about myself. And has led me to discover some pretty incredible opportunities I would maybe have ignored before. For whatever reason, it was meant to be, but not for very long. I veered off to the right and it took me just a short time to get back in line.  I remembered what it’s like to feel aligned. I found myself again. And when you find yourself again, it just makes you realize even more how important it is to be your complete self.

Thanks to my ducks.

So let me ask you – what’s on your list of boxes? What do you have to check in order to decide if an opportunity or relationship is right for you?

How does it feel to be connected to your complete self? How do you know when you are not in the place you need to be?

How is what you’re doing now aligning with what you want to be doing?

Is there something  that feels out of range – either out of control, out of alignment or out of your ability to accomplish?

What do you need to do in order to get your ducks in a row?

What have you learned from the things that weren’t right for you?

What’s next?

 

If you need some help, I am always available to help you get your ducks back in a row through a coaching session. Contact me if that’s something you need right now. 

 

Are You Ready To Make Your Life More Meaningful?

Thanks to all of you who were able to join the call Monday night. I enjoyed the experience of sharing what I’ve learned and listening to your shares on the call and after. It’s clear that there is a desire inside of many of us to create lives that are deeply aligned to our passions and strengths. I hope I can help you discover how to design a more meaningful life design. If you weren’t able to join the call, here is the recording (feel free to save and listen again). 

Make it Meaningful Call Recording

I am starting a new Make it Meaningful Group that might be just what you need to begin designing your intentional life. 

The group begins on Wednesday, January 28th, 2015 at 8pm EST/7pm CST and lasts for three sessions. (Note that I had the date wrong on the call – it is WEDNESDAY, January 28th!) During these sessions, participants will discover: 

  • Values – what is it you truly value and how do you design your life and work to align with these important priorities. 
  • How to make a clean sweep – What’s cluttering up your life and your mind? How do you de-clutter and remove the things that you are tolerating? 
  • End Results – what do you want to do, have or be by the end of 2015? And how do you stay on track to make sure you get the results you’re looking for? 

This group is limited, so you’ll want to decide and register soon. If you sign up by January 27th, you will be able to participate for all three, one-hour sessions for just $150! This is a significant savings over my individual coaching fees and the most inexpensive group I have ever offered. . And if you want to experience coaching, but can’t afford individual coaching rates, this group might be the best way for you to experience coaching right now. 

In addition to the group coaching experience and assessments, group members will be linked to a closed Facebook group to share during the three months of sessions and beyond. And as more Make it Meaningful groups happen over the course of 2015, those members will be added as well. So for your investment of $150, you will get: 

  • Group Coaching – three one-hour sessions
  • Three assessments to help you get closer to understanding where you are and where you want to go;
  • Access to closed Facebook group for shares, wins, resources and motivation for as long as you want it;
  • Support from a trained and certified coach and other group participants; 
  • First chance at upcoming groups during the rest of this year; 
  • 10% Discount for three months of individual coaching fees if you decide to continue the coaching experience beyond or during the group. 
  • End of the year wrap up to check in and provide you with the opportunity to assess and set new meaningful goals for the coming year. 

So – are you ready to Make it Meaningful? Registration ends at 7pm on TUESDAY, January 27th, 2015. I hope you will join me for this life changing group. There is power in group coaching and in deciding you are ready to make a change! 

Sessions will be on the last Wednesday of every month: 

Wednesday, January 28th
Wednesday, February 25th
Wednesday, March 25t

To register, call me at 228-467-8470, email me at LaurieJohnson@4elementscoaching.com or go to the Contact Us page and fill out the form to register. Make sure I have your name, phone number and email. I’ll contact you to make sure you are registered before the call. 

A Values Driven Philosophy


I created a visual representation of my values today using www.wordle.net.  (Thanks to Meg Hoffman for leading me to this great site!) I think any time you can see something visually it helps you to incorporate it more fully into your life and work. I also use a Values Assessment as fieldwork frequently as I think it is critical in assisting me as a coach to discover what opportunities provide the most authentic meaning in a client’s life and work. In other words, how can any of us engage in a meaningful life or career if we aren’t connecting to things that are important to us?

I used my values when creating a mission and philosophy for 4 Elements Coaching and for my other business, Nonprofit Staff Success International. During the creation phase of my business foundation. I included my values in my business plan and posted them on one website.  By communicating what I value most, I assist my clients in discovering more about me as a coach and as a business owner. And, whenever I come to a personal or business decision that feels heavy, I check in with my values to see whether the opportunity aligns with one or more of them. Because I value community, for example, I may decide to partner with a fellow coach to facilitate a weekend self care retreat which  connects women to other women who share the same challenges and can support solutions. Whenever I create new training content, I am actively aligned with my desire to enlighten my clients and to assist them in discovering new and innovative information that they can apply in their work. There really isn’t any aspect of my coaching businesses that isn’t somehow connected to one of these seven themes.

Do you know what you value? How does it show up in your work and in your life? How often do you check in to see if something you want to do, or feel compelled to do, is aligned with what matters the most?

Even if you aren’t ready to hire a coach, I’d love to help you discover your values and how you can apply this information to your career or to a situation where you need more clarity or movement.

Contact me at LaurieJohnson@4elementscoaching.com or by using our contact us form here and ask for a complimentary values assessment and coaching session. Don’t you owe it to yourself to create a rich life and satisfying work that flows around the things that are an integral part of who you are?