Tag Archives: caregiver

Summer of Self Care – Day 9

Posted on by
Reply

Tech Free Day 

Our lives are full of technology.

 

Here’s a gift of self care you can give yourself every week, month or for a few hours whenever you need it most. A Tech Free Day can be one of the slowest and most peaceful days you’ve spent in a long while.

Years ago, I discovered a blog post by Tiffany Schlain about her Technology Shabbats and we decided to give it a try. We picked a Friday night at sundown, even though we aren’t Jewish, and made sure to inform family members that we would be unplugged and would appreciate text or call silence unless there was an emergency.

The result? From Friday night sundown to Saturday night sundown was the slowest 24 hour period we could remember experiencing for a very long time. We were more connected to each other and present. We created new ways to spend our time. We were more mindful of just how we were spending our time AND how much of our thoughts centered around an automatic desire to look something up on the phone or to turn on the television.

It was bliss. It was awkward. It was funny and sad and made us think about how really disconnecting technology can be. For devices that are meant to connect us with information and entertainment and service or support, they sure are keeping us from connecting in a meaningful way with ourselves and others.

I can’t stress how slowly time passes without an iPhone, iPad, television, radio, or E-reader.

For me, unplugging now and again is a self care habit. It forces me to get quiet with myself and those around me. It promotes extreme mindfulness. It relaxes me.

Now, I know what you’re saying – “I can’t have a Tech Free Day today because I am already reading this email in my inbox or looking at this post on Facebook!”  I get it.

So you have a couple of options:

  1. Start your Tech Free Day some time today when you can and commit to 24 hours.
  2. Schedule your Tech Free Day for some time before the end of our #SummerofSelfCare2017
  3. Take a Tech Free half day, or even just a couple of hours.

Spend a little time journaling during your tech free experience. Write down how it feels.  Whether this is something you want to do again. Whether you want your entire family to participate or you just want to go tech free alone. What would you like to experience tech free? Do you want to do this every week, month, or just when you really need it? Or do you never want to do this again. Could this be a regular self care practice for you?

If you’ve had to schedule a future Tech Free Day, what do you want to put in place to honor it? If you work at a job where you are on-call, can you switch with someone else? Set up a stronger boundary with colleagues?

You decide whether you feel comfortable leaving your phone somewhere you absolutely can’t access it. See how taking a walk or going somewhere without your phone feels to you.

Now, if you’re a caregiver, that may not be an option. But you can put it on silent and put it in your pocket, so you’ll get the vibration notice if need be but otherwise ignore. I would also encourage you to find someone you trust to provide respite care for you that will not text or call you unless absolutely necessary.

Will your family or friends forget sometimes and text you by mistake? Yes. Just assess if it’s an emergency, remind them gently that you are unplugged and carry on.

Can you combine a Tech Free Day in the future with a day trip, a weekend away or even an entire vacation? We took a Tech Free weekend to a local tourist destination once and it was lovely.  I’ve also used Tech Free Day as a reward after a huge project or event. What about a Tech Free Day plus a massage?

In the summer, Tech Free Days can be especially wonderful if you spend time swimming, hiking, biking or reading. (See Summer of Self Care Day 7 which can be replicated any day you choose.)

Now, in the spirit of walking my talk, I am on a Tech Free Day today as well. This is possible for me because some technologies feature scheduling options. I am enjoying being unplugged.

Enjoy the silence that happens when time feels like it stands still.

 

 

Summer of Self Care – Day 5

Posted on by
Reply

Your Absolute YES! List 

Just Say Yes

 

Now that we have taken a few moments to look at how and when to say no, today we will look at what makes you say, “HECK YES!!!”  Because taking a look at your Absolute Yes List helps you remember what to say no to.

An Absolute Yes List is a list of those things that you know you will always say yes to. They may be things that are aligned with your values, work process, health care plan or your commitment to family.

 

For example, your Absolute Yes List might include:

 

  • I always take time for a lunch break to breathe and slow down.
  • We leave our phones at the door when we come together for dinner as a couple/family.
  • I work reasonable hours. On most days, I will arrive at _____ and leave by _____.
  • When entering my busy season at work, I will make time to walk for at least 15 minutes each day.
  • I will take at least one week of vacation time per year.
  • I have an open door policy.
  • I have an open door policy between the hours of ______.

You get the idea, right? What are those things that you will rarely compromise on?
And what are those opportunities that really light you up? How do you feel when you know you have been gifted with something you want to say an Absolute yes to?

When you take time to think of those things that make you want to say yes every time, and those things in your past that you have said yes to with absolutely no regret, you will be able to create a list of Absolute Yeses.

If you’re a Caregiver, there are things you can’t compromise on. If someone calls and says your parent, spouse, sister, etc. is in need of something immediately, you say Yes. And you go. Do. Handle.

But this also means you have to make room in your life for those Absolute Yeses so that you don’t feel so pulled and chaotic that those yeses make your whole day go off kilter.

Today, start what you think is your Absolute Yes List. It doesn’t have to be carved in stone and it certainly may change, especially if you are a Caregiver.

Think of what lights you up – what brings you the most joy or satisfaction? Is it time with a friend? Travel? A hobby? A collaboration?

What makes you want to say,

HECK YES!!!

(I recently purchased a T-shirt designed by Amy Tangerine. I love all of her stuff and she  collaborated on this project with My Cents of Style. I love this t-shirt because when I wear it, it makes me feel open to those things I want to say YES to. The other day, I was wearing it for the work day and later found myself with a few minutes to visit my granddaughters. My 10-year old granddaughter, Kandyce, said, “Grandmama, why does your t-shirt say, “Heck Yes?” I told her that it reminds me to consider those things that excite me the most and say yes to them – like a short visit to see her on a Friday afternoon. If you want a Heck Yes t-shirt, you can find it here!)