Tag Archives: work life balance

Self Care for the Holidays

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Today begins a series of blog posts about taking good care of yourself as you prepare for the holidays. And read all the way to the end to register for a free workshop on this topic!

Of all the times of the year, the holiday season can be one of the most busy and, therefore, stressful. We can take on a lot. We can have high expectations. We can encounter difficulties in relationships with others who are stressed and carrying high expectations.

One of the most joyful times of the year can often be fraught with sadness and disappointment.

Add in the fact that for some, the end of the year brings additional stresses at work as there can be more planning, more reporting, more covering for those who take time off and more.

So what can you do to prepare for the holiday season?

The first step is to be more mindful. If you are aware of what could get in the way or create more stress and overwhelm, you are more likely to respond to things rather than to react.

One of the ways I suggest becoming more mindful is to take a few moments to think about what you’d like your intention for the season to be.

Your intention is a statement or series of statements about how you’d like to feel while you are gathering with friends and family or engaging in holiday events. You can also incorporate how you would like others to feel in your intentions.

For example, you may want to feel joyful, relaxed and engaged with others. Perhaps you’d like your presence with your family to be felt as though you are connected to them, listening to them and enjoying your time with them. Maybe you’d like to be responsive to your needs and to the needs of others by giving and receiving love and joy.

Take a few moments to think about what your intention is this holiday season. At the end of 2017, what would you like to say about your holiday time?

Now, take a moment to cull your statement down to one main word. Maybe it’s Joy. Perhaps you want to feel Present. Or Connected. Write that word down on an index card or a piece of paper and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day. Maybe on your bathroom mirror or your refrigerator. Each time you see your intention, it will help you stay connected to it – to remember that this is the way you have decided you want to feel.

For extra help in this area, journal for a few moments each day and think of three ways in which you could realize that intention. Or at the end of each day, you may want to reflect back and think of ways in which you felt your word come to life that day and plan a few ways for the day ahead.

I’d love to hear what intentions you’ve created! Just comment on this blog post or on Facebook and let me know what you want this holiday season.

To help you with more self care tips for the holiday season, I’m hosting a free mini-workshop on Tuesday, November 14th at 8pm EST/7pm CST. This workshop will be delivered via conference call so you’ll need to register to get the call-in details.

You can register by emailing me at lauriejohnson@4elementscoaching.com with Register Me in the subject line.

Or go to our Contact Us page here on the website and put Self Care for the Holidays in the subject line and Register Me in the message.

Summer of Self Care – Day 30

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4 Elements of Success for Self Care

If you are familiar with my work at all, you know that I have created what I believe are 4 Elements for Success in almost every area of life. While this generally applies to work, family or specific goals people have set, it can absolutely apply to self care as well.

So my first question is – do you have a goal for your self care practice? Many people tell me that they want self care to be a daily activity for them, rather than being the first thing that gets tossed off their plate.

Perhaps you want to improve your health, your energy or create more time for exercise?

Some of you may be looking at ways in which you can practice daily self care while caregiving for an older parent, children or family members.

Maybe you want more balance in your life – to feel as though you’re connecting more to things you love to do when you’ve felt as though you’re working a great deal of the time.

Whatever the issue is, you can apply the 4 Elements to your Self Care Plan. Here they are, as applied to self care:

  • Create a Vision – Begin by creating an idea of what your ideal self care plan would look like. What would you be doing regularly that you are not doing now? What do you look like or feel like after you have put this plan into practice for 3 months, 6 months and beyond? What will you have that you don’t have now? Spend a few moments journaling about this so that you have a clear idea of what your regular self care practice will bring to you. Fill in the blank – “This is important to me because ______________________________.”
  • Belief – Develop a mindset that you can do this, rather than saying, “This never works…I always ____.” Yes, you may have some setbacks and yes, your self care may get put onto the back burner. But reinforcing the language you use with yourself will begin to create a belief or mindset that you can do it. Commit. Write down Affirmations for yourself. Use statements about your belief that are rooted in the present moment, not in the way you’ve behaved in the past. Be kind to yourself and believe in yourself the way you believe in others.
  • Make a Plan – I believe in the value of a carefully thought out plan, written down somewhere you can see it often. It doesn’t have to be complex; it can be as simple as writing down your 10 daily habits and posting them somewhere you can see them. You can add self care basics when you are traveling and can’t do those things you do in your daily routine. You might add strategies for self care when you’re sick or in the middle of big changes that cause added stress. From simple to complex, your written self care plan will help you stay on track.
  • Finally, consistent, focused Action on your vision and plan. The more you create routine self care action, the more likely you are to stick with it and feel as though you are coming from a place of centered, wholeness and wellness. That’s the goal, after all – to allow self care to create reserves in your life so that you show up with your best self.

Again, recognize that we all have difficult days and we may not always be where we want to be. But when we have a vision, belief, committed plan and we work that plan, we’re more likely to succeed in all areas of our life, even self care.

Self Care is Work Life Balance, if there is such a thing. Self care makes sure that your day doesn’t feel like a grind and that your reserves are full.

Make some time to incorporate these 4 Elements into your Self Care Plan today.

Summer of Self Care – Day 5

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Your Absolute YES! List 

Just Say Yes

 

Now that we have taken a few moments to look at how and when to say no, today we will look at what makes you say, “HECK YES!!!”  Because taking a look at your Absolute Yes List helps you remember what to say no to.

An Absolute Yes List is a list of those things that you know you will always say yes to. They may be things that are aligned with your values, work process, health care plan or your commitment to family.

 

For example, your Absolute Yes List might include:

 

  • I always take time for a lunch break to breathe and slow down.
  • We leave our phones at the door when we come together for dinner as a couple/family.
  • I work reasonable hours. On most days, I will arrive at _____ and leave by _____.
  • When entering my busy season at work, I will make time to walk for at least 15 minutes each day.
  • I will take at least one week of vacation time per year.
  • I have an open door policy.
  • I have an open door policy between the hours of ______.

You get the idea, right? What are those things that you will rarely compromise on?
And what are those opportunities that really light you up? How do you feel when you know you have been gifted with something you want to say an Absolute yes to?

When you take time to think of those things that make you want to say yes every time, and those things in your past that you have said yes to with absolutely no regret, you will be able to create a list of Absolute Yeses.

If you’re a Caregiver, there are things you can’t compromise on. If someone calls and says your parent, spouse, sister, etc. is in need of something immediately, you say Yes. And you go. Do. Handle.

But this also means you have to make room in your life for those Absolute Yeses so that you don’t feel so pulled and chaotic that those yeses make your whole day go off kilter.

Today, start what you think is your Absolute Yes List. It doesn’t have to be carved in stone and it certainly may change, especially if you are a Caregiver.

Think of what lights you up – what brings you the most joy or satisfaction? Is it time with a friend? Travel? A hobby? A collaboration?

What makes you want to say,

HECK YES!!!

(I recently purchased a T-shirt designed by Amy Tangerine. I love all of her stuff and she  collaborated on this project with My Cents of Style. I love this t-shirt because when I wear it, it makes me feel open to those things I want to say YES to. The other day, I was wearing it for the work day and later found myself with a few minutes to visit my granddaughters. My 10-year old granddaughter, Kandyce, said, “Grandmama, why does your t-shirt say, “Heck Yes?” I told her that it reminds me to consider those things that excite me the most and say yes to them – like a short visit to see her on a Friday afternoon. If you want a Heck Yes t-shirt, you can find it here!)

Summer of Self Care Day 2

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The Weight of the World:

Remember hearing the expression “carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?

This idiom comes from Greek Mythology when Zeus got angry at the Olympians and picked Atlas to punish.

Zeus condemned Atlas to hold the heavens on his back. The purpose was to separate Earth and Heaven, which would prevent the two from mixing so much. But sometimes here on Earth, we mere mortals don’t strike a balance between work and home or kids and quiet time, right? That’s why we’re here today – to take a few minutes to let go of the weight of the world.

Sometimes we feel the heaviness of things that are happening around us. Or carrying tension in our neck and shoulders. We work at a desk and when things get hectic, we tense up without even realizing.

Tomorrow, we’re going to look at getting rid of some of those things that are weighing us down.

But for today, just now in this moment, what you can do is stretch your shoulders and move your neck. And you can do this every day or several times a day – whenever you feel yourself tense up.

Here’s a video from SarahBethYoga to get you started.

Hello Again, Yoga!

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I used to practice yoga at home every morning. Almost every day began with a pot of coffee, followed by quiet time to journal, and then I was on the mat for a 20 minute yoga practice. I used to laugh and say that yoga kept me from killing people. In truth, it kept me more responsive to problems and situations, rather than being reactive. I loved yoga and I was proud of myself for keeping up a regular practice. For me, it was an impactful, yet easy piece of my self-care plan.

Then one rainy day in Jackson, Mississippi, I fell on the way into a meeting. I stepped into a small hole in the pavement that was obscured by the rain and twisted my ankle in just the right way so as to lose my balance and plop right onto the muddy ground. The result was a pretty awful deep ankle bone bruising that made walking difficult for awhile, much less getting into Downward Facing Dog or even a comfortable lotus position. It seemed like it took forever for my ankle to feel normal again. Months went by and I was off the mat. Then another two years would go by before I would return to a regular practice of yoga.

During that time, I would think about yoga a lot. I missed the benefits and felt like I was reactive, falling into negative thinking more quickly than its opposite. My self- talk was mean and unforgiving. “You REALLY need to make time for this if it’s so important to you! Why can’t you just take 20 minutes to get back onto that mat? Why can’t you do this regularly any more? What’s wrong with you???”

It took the cessation of a busy part-time job and the return to working full-time for myself to make my thoughts more positive and my self-care more of a priority. And it took a reflective and forgiving look at my time to incorporate that 20-minute practice back into my day. I’m not at every single day yet and I’m also not yelling at myself if I miss a Saturday morning because of a lengthy list of want or need-to-dos or a Sunday morning because I want to see my granddaughter’s dance competition.

When I get on the mat, I immediately relax and start to breathe. It’s like my mind and body say, “Hello again, Yoga! It’s good to be back!” And then later, I remember that feeling just before I go to bed and set my internal alarm accordingly so I have that extra 20 minutes. I’m much more calm and centered as I go about my day, talking to myself, writing or working with clients. Yes, I still have stressors and there are things I would like to see changed yesterday. Nothing is ever perfect. But it’s working – I’m back  to something that matters a lot to me.

Spring often brings a desire to clean house, to start something new and beautiful or to plant a new seed. I’ve thought about this a lot lately as I am moving into this Spring Clean Your Life work with myself and with others. Spring cleaning isn’t just clearing cobwebs from the corners of your living room or laundering your curtains. It’s a fresh, new perspective, practice or commitment. It’s a cleansing of negative self talk – talk that wouldn’t come out of your mouth to your best friend, but often comes into your head when thinking about your own behaviors or what you consider to be failures. It’s a conscious practice of screening pieces of your life, practices of your day and desires of your soul to see if they all fit with what you want out of life and work.

Spring is the time to take a look at all aspects of your work, your home, and your thoughts. New beginnings happen now, as we prepare for flowers to bloom and gentle breezes to blow again. It’s a time when we notice the beauty of our environment and we celebrate rebirth and resurrection.

So let me ask you today – what are you ready to say Hello to?

Yoga with my Dog.

Agnes waits patiently while I get on the mat.

Laurie Johnson helps small businesses become large businesses, and small nonprofits to become more successful nonprofits. She does this by providing consulting services, training, and individual and group coaching sessions. When work and life aren’t in balance, Laurie helps you get it together and create systems and practices that fulfill all aspects of your life.

A free “Spring Clean Your Life” workshop call is being offered Wednesday, March 2nd at 7pm Central Standard time (8pm EST). Email Laurie to register or go to www.4elementscoaching.com/contact-us to sign up.