Tag Archives: yoga

On Being Sensitive

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There are days that I wake up with a burst of energy and excitement to begin the day. Some days start with deep breaths and a quiet resolve and curiosity to begin the morning routine that will lead to a busy day. Other mornings are underwhelming – I don’t feel anything except the need to wake up and step out of bed.

But some days begin a bit differently. I wake feeling very sensitive to the condition of my mind, body and spirit. I feel like I am slogging through mud to get out of that bed, and when I do, I hear the familiar internal refrain, “I don’t feel good!” that I have carried with me since childhood. (Yes, I’m aware that it should be I don’t feel well, but it’s always been repeated in the way I heard my mother say it.) I check in to see if there is some physical manifestation of this statement.

I quickly turn on the coffee, hoping that the caffeine will kick in quickly. I begin journaling and realize I am a bit unenthusiastic, or maybe even on the verge of tears about something. Sometimes I know what that something is and sometimes I don’t. It sort of settles into my chest and heart like a dense fog.

I look to see how many client appointments I have scheduled and wonder if I am able to coach them effectively. Should I cancel? Am I going to cry all day? Or just feel melancholy?

When I was a child, I had no idea what was happening to me and why I would cry at the drop of a hat one day and leap into the sunshine the next. I worried that it was a mental illness, since we had a family history of same. Sometimes I blamed myself for not doing  God knows what to be a “normal human being.”

I now know that I am a “normal human being,” whatever that really means.  And some days, I am just highly sensitive.

I’m not sure I would go so far as to say that I am an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person – there’s a test here if you decide you want to take it), though I’m not saying I don’t believe that this is a thing. I’m just not crazy about embracing labels that might limit my beliefs about myself. But I will say that there are some days when sensitivity seems to take a seat in the front row right alongside of me. It lingers and gently forces unexpected and expected tears and generally takes a bit of time to work its way back out.

Are there triggers? Probably. Today it may be the sentencing in the Nassar case that brings up so many memories of victims I’ve worked with who looked just like Jade, Ariana, Rachel and the others. My clients felt the same sadness and anger and overwhelm those girls are feeling now. And yes, it probably brings up my own memories of sexual assault and healing, of the desire for justice and the inability to find the strength to call for it.

But sometimes there aren’t triggers. It’s just my way of being for a time. Sensitivity is part of my nature. And I’ve learned that if I embrace it, I can become a better coach, friend, mentor, parent and partner. If I bury it, resentment and anger and grief can overwhelm me and I’m paralyzed by what is now something much bigger than it needed to be.

What do I do when I’m being sensitive?

1) I name it and claim it.

2) I create some space for myself to lean into it and let the voices and feelings tell me what I need to hear today.  I give myself permission to be sensitive. What is the purpose sensitivity brings today? Sometimes it’s the same lesson and I just need a reminder or to see a new layer.  And sometimes, it’s something alltogether new.

3) Sometimes yoga helps. I can claim it and sit into it during poses like Goddess pose or Child’s post. Or I can sit in the sunlight. Or whatever I feel led to do.

 

 

 

4) I accept that it takes as long as it takes. I don’t worry about it changing me or limiting me. It’s not wrong and there’s aren’t any rules. (Unless it manifests into something that changes my quality of life for too long. Then I ask for help.)

5) I affirm and embrace the best part of myself that is aware of who I really am – my authentic core being – and feel grateful that I can open up a container – an hour, a day, a week – to do what I can for myself because there’s no use being anything else. It takes too much work to stuff things down or make them go away when they are absolutely a part of who we are.

For today, for however long, I will accept being sensitive. I can coach my clients and answer emails. I can make chili for a cookoff tonight and join my team in helping to serve the community in this event. I can breathe a lot and engage in acts of self care and self love. I can write this out, which may in turn help someone else who is struggling to give voice to how they are not “feeling good.”

Being sensitive is one of the best qualities I can carry each and every day. If I can allow sensitivity to be what it is inside of me, I can use it to be the best me I can be.

Summer of Self Care – Day 10

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Ten Daily Habits 

On day one, I shared my belief that when we’re in crisis or depleted of energy from our “busyness”, we tend to be reactive rather than responsive. When we create personal energetic reserves, they help us feel as though we are connected to a place of balance and control. And creating personal energetic reserves is the best way to practice self care.

Your daily habits can be whatever you want them to be and you don’t absolutely have to do each one every day. In fact, at first, it may be hard to fit them all in. And these habits don’t have to be time consuming. On my current list, there are three things I can do in the space of 20 minutes that help me to ensure that my day starts off in a way that is optimum for me.  For example, you might decide you need daily exercise, some motivation from a favorite podcast and adequate amounts of water during the day. Three habits can be accomplished all at one time if you bring your phone, earbuds and a water bottle on a morning walk.

Here’s a list of my 10 daily habits:

1)   Morning pages/gratitude journaling.

2)   Yoga practice.

3)   Decide what three things would make today really great.

4)   Read something.

5)   Meditation or quiet time.

6)   Karma notes, texts or calls – something nice sent to someone else.

7)   Drink water

8)   Declutter – spaces, thoughts or inbox.

9)  Create at least one new thing (I might draw, paint or write. Just one little creative thing daily keeps me happy.)

10) Name the best thing that happened during the day.

Get the idea? I keep my list of 10 Daily Habits taped on one of the cabinets next to my desk so that I am constantly checking in to them, refining and refreshing the list as needed. When you first start, it helps to keep them handy and nearby.

Ready to create your 10 daily habits? Here’s a Ten Daily Habits Template to help you get started!

Hello Again, Yoga!

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I used to practice yoga at home every morning. Almost every day began with a pot of coffee, followed by quiet time to journal, and then I was on the mat for a 20 minute yoga practice. I used to laugh and say that yoga kept me from killing people. In truth, it kept me more responsive to problems and situations, rather than being reactive. I loved yoga and I was proud of myself for keeping up a regular practice. For me, it was an impactful, yet easy piece of my self-care plan.

Then one rainy day in Jackson, Mississippi, I fell on the way into a meeting. I stepped into a small hole in the pavement that was obscured by the rain and twisted my ankle in just the right way so as to lose my balance and plop right onto the muddy ground. The result was a pretty awful deep ankle bone bruising that made walking difficult for awhile, much less getting into Downward Facing Dog or even a comfortable lotus position. It seemed like it took forever for my ankle to feel normal again. Months went by and I was off the mat. Then another two years would go by before I would return to a regular practice of yoga.

During that time, I would think about yoga a lot. I missed the benefits and felt like I was reactive, falling into negative thinking more quickly than its opposite. My self- talk was mean and unforgiving. “You REALLY need to make time for this if it’s so important to you! Why can’t you just take 20 minutes to get back onto that mat? Why can’t you do this regularly any more? What’s wrong with you???”

It took the cessation of a busy part-time job and the return to working full-time for myself to make my thoughts more positive and my self-care more of a priority. And it took a reflective and forgiving look at my time to incorporate that 20-minute practice back into my day. I’m not at every single day yet and I’m also not yelling at myself if I miss a Saturday morning because of a lengthy list of want or need-to-dos or a Sunday morning because I want to see my granddaughter’s dance competition.

When I get on the mat, I immediately relax and start to breathe. It’s like my mind and body say, “Hello again, Yoga! It’s good to be back!” And then later, I remember that feeling just before I go to bed and set my internal alarm accordingly so I have that extra 20 minutes. I’m much more calm and centered as I go about my day, talking to myself, writing or working with clients. Yes, I still have stressors and there are things I would like to see changed yesterday. Nothing is ever perfect. But it’s working – I’m back  to something that matters a lot to me.

Spring often brings a desire to clean house, to start something new and beautiful or to plant a new seed. I’ve thought about this a lot lately as I am moving into this Spring Clean Your Life work with myself and with others. Spring cleaning isn’t just clearing cobwebs from the corners of your living room or laundering your curtains. It’s a fresh, new perspective, practice or commitment. It’s a cleansing of negative self talk – talk that wouldn’t come out of your mouth to your best friend, but often comes into your head when thinking about your own behaviors or what you consider to be failures. It’s a conscious practice of screening pieces of your life, practices of your day and desires of your soul to see if they all fit with what you want out of life and work.

Spring is the time to take a look at all aspects of your work, your home, and your thoughts. New beginnings happen now, as we prepare for flowers to bloom and gentle breezes to blow again. It’s a time when we notice the beauty of our environment and we celebrate rebirth and resurrection.

So let me ask you today – what are you ready to say Hello to?

Yoga with my Dog.

Agnes waits patiently while I get on the mat.

Laurie Johnson helps small businesses become large businesses, and small nonprofits to become more successful nonprofits. She does this by providing consulting services, training, and individual and group coaching sessions. When work and life aren’t in balance, Laurie helps you get it together and create systems and practices that fulfill all aspects of your life.

A free “Spring Clean Your Life” workshop call is being offered Wednesday, March 2nd at 7pm Central Standard time (8pm EST). Email Laurie to register or go to www.4elementscoaching.com/contact-us to sign up.