Fill yourself up before the orange, beeping light comes on.

The best metaphors come out of coaching conversations. This is something I experience a LOT and it never ceases to amaze me.

So a couple of days ago, I was coaching someone on personal capacity issues, otherwise known as “how many to-dos are too many to-dos for one work day for me right now the way I am currently feeling?” I phrase it this way because the nebulous WORK LIFE BALANCE (said in a loud, echoey voice to add drama and proper reverence) changes every single day. You could get sick. Daylight Savings Time kicks in. Stuff happens. That’s why is shouldn’t be called balance at all. But that’s another subject to keep diving into another day.

The point I’m getting at today is how do you know how much is too much and how much is just enough, especially if you are transitioning into something new, experiencing a health issue, or just plain saying yes too many times? If personal capacity shifts sometimes just because it’s bound to shift?

My client was describing how she just bought a new car and her gauge tells her how many miles she should expect to be able to drive before she runs out of gas.  She suddenly cries, “I wish there was a gauge for my personal energy that would measure how many clients I can serve before I’m just worn out and unable to give anything else.”

Wouldn’t that make life so much easier? A way of measuring how many more tasks or clients or reports we can complete before we are energetically and physically spent? It would make planning our day, our month and our YEAR so much easier! We wouldn’t overschedule or take on more volunteer activities than we can handle. We would only say yes to what we absolutely know we can accomplish. We would delegate the rest or just easily say, “No. I’ll be on empty if I take that on. You’ll have to find someone else. Or wait till I am able to fill up again. I’ll get back to you next week.”

My personal awareness around this issue is that I actually TURN OFF the feature that tells me how many miles I have till empty in favor of the feature that tells me how many miles per gallon I am achieving. I ignore capacity in favor of a performance measurement.  I’m that girl that thinks an A- just isn’t good enough. The word productivity comes up in my daily self talk. A LOT.

But wait – it gets better. In my car, I have this gas gauge constantly in view that shows me in bars how much gas I currently have.  I can’t turn this one off. So 10 bars is full and 1 bar is almost empty, right? So I get in the car a lot, only to discover I have like 2 bars. My brain registers that I have 2 bars till empty and I make a mental note, “You must get gas soon.” But inevitably, I am driving along at some point hours or days later and I hear the familiar BEEP and I see the final bar is glowing orange. This means, “GET GAS NOW!!!” It’s almost gone! All of it! The anxious search begins for gas and I tell myself I won’t be able to get the most reasonable price now because I don’t have the option of shopping around. I’ve got to gas up now. Even though I took the time earlier to register that I was almost on empty, I pushed myself because I thought I had more time. I thought I’d get gas when it was the right place and the right price. I put off taking care of the inevitable.

Are you running on 3 bars? 7 bars? Or is your orange, beeping light already on? 

 

So not only do we face these capacity issues in life and in work all the time, we often ignore the signs and signals that we are running toward empty. We think we can do more, should do more, MUST do more. “I’ve pushed this before and survived. I’ll just carry on.”

We know that things like meditating for a few moments or taking a walk in the middle of the day would help our brains become more functional or help us think more creatively. But we end up working through lunch because there’s a deadline or we have to develop this one new thing before the day is through. Or maybe someone calls and says, “Hey can you take on this _______?” And we say, “Sure!” Not really stopping to consider how many bars we have till the orange light pops on and the anxiety begins. We run out of capacity because we push ourselves to the limit, more often than not.

So here’s a thought – what if you agreed to get gas as soon as you’re on 2 bars? Every time, no matter what? What if 2 bars was your personal orange, beeping light?

Or what if you just stopped to consider how you feel when you are metaphorically starting to run on empty? What are the signs for you?

For me, it looks like:

Anxiety
Rapid Heartbeat
Feeling of Overwhelm
Self talk phrases “Why do I always do this to myself? “Why do I always wait till the last minute? Why didn’t I say No!?!
Forgetfulness
Constant feeling of forgetfulness
Dread
Panic
Anger
Ache in the back of neck and shoulder area
Inability to focus or attend to things I normally do to relax
Distractionary tactics

There are probably others, but you get the picture, right? Sound all too familiar?

Filling up before you get to empty starts with recognizing what running on empty looks like. Deciding how many ______ = capacity starts with recognizing or remembering what too many looks like.  Your internal gauge is giving you a clear visual or emotional measurement – you just need to put it into view. Honor it.

It’s simple. Fill yourself up before the orange, beeping light comes on.

The Power of a Notebook

One of my favorite notebooks – Laurel Burch designs always make me happy.

You may think I’m going to talk about the famous Nicolas Sparks movie that everyone loves and correlate it to everyday life. But, no.

I’m talking about the power of keeping a notebook by your side, everywhere you go, to record your thoughts, ideas, learning points, motivational quotes, dreams, goals and connections.

The power of a notebook is simple and yet so profound. If you carry around a small pad with you everywhere you go, nothing you ever think, hear or say is lost to you. You never have to worry about whether it will come back around again or what happens if you forget it completely. It’s there – in ink. Until you decide to deal with it.

And I am a big believer in carrying one with you to meetings, keeping one on your desk, in your car, in your purse, on your nightstand – everywhere you may need one in case something sparks.

And don’t forget the ‘dealing with it’ part. It’s not enough to keep writing things down. You have to do something with them or those ideas are no good to you.

So here’s an example of what’s in one of the notebooks that I carry around:

Notes from a Women Entrepreneurs’ meeting in May about the Imposter Syndrome, minutes from a board I serve as Secretary, notes from a conference call for a client, ideas for speakers for my podcast, Just 5 Minutes blog ideas, a couple of quotes and some personal goals. In another notebook, I keep notes on books I am reading and books I want to read during the month. (yeah, bookish girls make monthly book goals).  The notebook by my bed ensures I remember dreams or other thoughts and ideas I have while I am just waking up or about to go to sleep.

I also write Morning Pages every morning  and sometimes have ideas while I am journaling (I have done Morning Pages, inspired by Julia Cameron’s work for over 10 years – see here for more).  But I can’t keep them in that space because I’d have to remember what day I had the idea. I simply transfer the idea to the notebook that’s the best fit and I’m all set.

What happens to those notes? I pull out and file the Imposter Syndrome notes to use for clients or for a future workshop topic. I type out the board minutes and mark them as done. I act on the conference call notes, speakers, and blog ideas.  I make the quotes into Memes for social media and I transfer the personal goals to my planner if they are a monthly goal or to my year-long plan if they are long-term.

Notes can also be delegated to someone else – staff, friends, family members, colleagues – whoever might be able to execute a task or move an idea into production.

If you review the notes and decide you really don’t want to do anything with that idea, you have a couple of options: discard it forever or give it to someone else who might want to act on it. That’s easy for me because I often think of ideas that will help my clients and this is a great way for me to remember those ideas between sessions.

Personally, I collect notebooks so that I’m never without one when I need it most. The prettier they are, the more I love them. I have small ones, larger ones, spiral bound and staple bound. They don’t have to cost a lot. I’ve even found some cute little notebooks at the Dollar Store or in Target’s dollar bins.  Some of mine have gorgeous, textured or leather-bound covers. Others are plain and perfect in their simplicity.

 

Just a few of my current notebooks.

If this sounds like it will work for you, pull a notebook out of your supply cabinet or junk drawer. Or go pick one up at the store. And start recording those ideas that come to you while you are driving, eating or sleeping. You’ll be glad you did.

(And for those who don’t like the paper and pen kind of notetaking, use an app like Evernote or the Note pad on your phone. You can also record notes on your voice memo recorder as well. Just make sure you have it nearby when the inspiration strikes.)

 

 

Just Five Minutes – Explore Podcasts

Today’s Just Five Minutes is all about the value of Podcasts. As you can see from this video, there are a LOT of them to choose from. You can be entertained, educated and enthralled by Podcasts that are archived or added every day.

Just Five Minutes – Explore Podcasts

In the video, I mentioned one of my favorites as the Women’s Entrepreneur Association, but it’s actually the Female Entrepreneur Association Podcasts by Carrie Green.

Also, the Podcast Serial on This American Life can be found here:

Another favorite of mine is Harper Collins Presents. This link is to the iTunes subscription, but if you don’t have iTunes, I’m sure you can subscribe in another way. I’m currently obsessed with the audio retelling of After the Funeral, by Agatha Christie. It’s delivered in parts and I feel like I understand what it must have been like for my parents to listen to a radio program once a week and have to wait for the next installment.

Hope you enjoy a podcast or two. And as always, let me know what love to listen to.

That’s your Just Five Minutes for today. I’m off to find out what happened to the Abernathy family After the Funeral or to Bowe Bergdahl in the second season of Serial.