The Only Things I Know To Say Right Now.

The impact of the recent murders of Breonna Taylor, Armaud Arbery and George Floyd has devasted our communities and our country, and returned many of us to memories of decades of discrimination, hatred, dehumanization and divisiveness.

As a child growing up in the Chicago area in the 60s, I remember feeling fear as I became aware of the hatred and violence building, as well as hope for those activists working to change laws that promoted equal rights.

As a White woman of privilege currently living in South Mississippi, I am frequently confronted with racist remarks and actions, clearly not about or against MY race. And they are becoming more frequent and overt than ever before. You see, many people think that because of the color of my skin, I will agree with them. It took me a long time to stop my jaw dropping “I don’t know what to say” reaction and move to the responses I choose now that signal to them that their comments are not okay. Unfortunately, I’ve had to create quite a mental library of responses to fit a number of different situations and comments. And honesty, I’m scared!! I’m afraid of their anger and hatred and I’m afraid I won’t “say it right” in response.

I was confronted head on by this systemic issue from the time I moved here. And now, it’s escalating and it’s time to effect permanent change. And yet, I am suffering from a limiting belief about whether this is truly possible in this country right now. Because I see all too clearly that this isn’t just a problem that exists in the South. It isn’t just my neighbor who is openly and verbally racist. It’s happening in neighborhoods where my sister, brother, nieces and cousins still live in Illinois, in Minnesota, in Florida, and in Arizona. It’s not just happening in my granddaughter’s school in Mississippi, but in the schools where my daughter teaches in New Orleans and where my niece and cousin work in Central Florida. It’s ingrained in the minds and reactions of so many people as they sit quietly in class or stand by silently while another student is bullied or called a name. And my son can run through his neighborhood without fear of being gunned down on the street, but some of his friends, neighbors and co-workers cannot.

And the response of our nation’s leader is doing more to incite violence than it is to promote peaceful resolutions, swift convictions, and equal representation.

As a White woman, I am certain that I am privileged. I see evidence of it every single day. And, I have power and a voice within that privilege. Yet often, like me, I feel that collectively, many many White people are outraged. And yet, there’s a pattern. I’ve fallen into it in the past as well.

We mourn. We post and write and speak and walk and donate and then…we go back to our privileged, lives and our work.

This movement will take more than a groundswell of actions. We must co-create sustainable change that will not find us going back to sleep while our Black sisters and brothers are being murdered.

In my business, I created what I think are the 4 Elements that can create success in almost any area of life and business. First, a Vision of what you want to accomplish.  Second, a Belief or mindset that it’s possible. Third, a Plan for how to get there and Fourth, Focused, Consistent Action.  

I am calling myself and others to this work –

First, to envision a country where racism is called out,  condemned and prosecuted consistently and our history of oppression isn’t “celebrated,” (as it is still here in the South) but is a thing of the past. And that what we celebrate is our commitment and collective partnerships to end (and continually address and discuss) racial injustice once and for all. That one day, we will celebrate our Days of Freedom, rather than our days of violence and hate.

Second, I’m having a little trouble with the Belief part right now. But many of you are helping me every day as I watch you walking, protesting, watching and reading about Black History. Speaking out in all forms. Flying a new flag in Mississippi. Creating Listening stations and much more. Please help me (and let me help you) get to the part where we BELIEVE we can end what seems like a cavernous pit of hatred and violence.

Third, I’m looking for those leaders and organizations who can come together with a Plan. I’m not seeing that yet.

Solopreneurs like myself are asking each other how we can work together and I know that we will figure that out soon.

Fourth, I will engage in focused consistent and daily actions. I see more hope here than I have before. I see policemen and women taking a knee at protests. I’ve seen companies express their commitment of support, dollars and resources, and denouncing racism and violence. I’ve seen universities pull scholarships after seeing racists videos posted by prospective students. And employers terminate workers after discovering their intolerant and hateful behaviors.

Here’s what is the beginning of my part in this area. For a long long time, I have practiced morning journaling pages daily, and I have an ending “process” for each writing session. I ask myself – what did I do the previous day to engage in Creativity, Self-Care and Learning. Then I list a number of things I am grateful for.

Starting now, I will add another area to reflect – what did I do yesterday to promote justice and equality for people of color? What’s happened in the world to unite people of color that I am grateful for today.

To all my Black friends and neighbors, colleagues and community leaders, victims of crime and their families, and especially to all of the children who are so very scared right now:

I’ve made mistakes in the past and I am so very sorry for them. I have said insensitive and racist things. I have been ignorant of the toll this is taking, and of the million big and tiny ways you are shattered inside every day. Of how resilient you have had to become as a result.

And today, tomorrow and every day,

I see you.

I hear you.

I stand with you.

I will fight for you and with you.

I am your Ally.

Laurie

 

 

 

Book Review – Creating the Magic: 10 Common Sense Leadership Strategies from a Life at Disney

Creating the Magic: 10 Common Sense Leadership Strategies from a Life at Disney
Lee Cockerell

I picked this book up at one of my favorite bookstores in Walt Disney World two years ago. I hadn’t heard of it and thought it might be helpful to me in my work as a coach and consultant for small businesses and nonprofits. But like a lot of the books I have on my shelves, it took me awhile to crack it open.

Once I did though, I found it was very easy to digest and practical for almost any company I work with. The author weaves the story of his career development at the same time sharing examples of specific ways in which you can learn from his mistakes and successes.

His tenure at Disney wasn’t without challenge – hurricanes and tropical storms impacting guests stranded at the park and resorts as well as cast members who were affected by damage. Also changes and restructuring in several of the companies he worked for over the years.

Each chapter is well thought out with anecdotes to support his strategies as well as action steps to go forward and use as checklists or barometers.

It’s a short read – about 250 pages – and is written using a style that’s easy to read but stimulates a lot of thinking about your own strategies and systems.

My original hope of using these strategies to help clients was definitely realized. I use it when discussing team member roles, customer service, staying connected to mission, and creating a culture of empowered and respectful employees. These aren’t difficult lessons or strategies to implement – you can begin to put these ideas into practice while you are reading the book. And if you are working with a coach, it’s a way to marry the coaching and accountability piece with the tips and tactics you’re learning. I definitely introduce it to clients and invite them to bring the lessons into the coaching conversations.

I gave this book

because it’s solidly written and contains a lot of helpful information on how to create a successful leadership style and develop talent that will lead your brand.

After reading, I found out Lee has a podcast, which I am now subscribed to, as well as several other books. The next on my list is Time Management Magic. I’ll review it as soon as I finish.

If you decide to take a look, let me know what you think in the comments below.

 

 

 

I Do It Because I Like This Kind Of Life

About 10 years ago, I read Julia Cameron’s seminal work called The Artist’s Way. The introduction began with her assignment to do something called Morning Pages, where you hand write three pages each morning. I did it for the six weeks of the program and beyond. In fact, since that time, there have been maybe less than 10 days that I haven’t gotten up to do morning pages.

Morning pages are definitely a habit for me now. But they take a good bit of effort, when I really think about it. I have to get up early sometimes to catch a flight or to drive to a client appointment. On vacation, I may want to get up early and have breakfast in whatever city we find ourselves visiting. But for some reason, morning pages are the way I operate now and they can’t be skipped. So I adjust my waking time to make sure that it happens – three pages, with my coffee, in the same seat every day.

After all this time, morning pages help me wake up properly. They are a definite part of my self care routine. And one of my ten daily habits that I don’t often break. Why? Because I can’t. I just know that I can’t. It’s become so ingrained in my daily routine that I can’t let it go.

What parts of your daily routine are so ingrained that you can’t skip them? For some people I know, it’s a morning walk, a devotional or motivational reading. Maybe it’s quiet time catching up with your spouse, partner or child. Maybe sitting on your porch watching the sunset or the moon rise.

Or maybe you don’t have a habit like this but are already thinking about what that might look like. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time – it can be very quick but it could be very meaningful.

I served in leadership and mentoring role once with a man who was a nonprofit executive. He spent 20 minutes every day without fail reading something that helped him to do his work more effectively or efficiently. I realized recently  that my clients who are feeling the most successful are those who can point to daily habits that help them start the day off in a ritualistic and satisfying way.

I saw this quote recently and realized it really describes how I feel about my morning routine. Warren Buffet said,

“I insist on a lot of time being spent, almost every day, to just sit and think. That is very uncommon in American business. I read and think. So I do more reading and thinking, and make less impulse decisions than most people in business. I do it because I like this kind of life.”

I guess that’s really why I continue to spend time on my morning pages.

I do it because I like this kind of life. 

My current journal

Just Five Minutes – Explore Podcasts

Today’s Just Five Minutes is all about the value of Podcasts. As you can see from this video, there are a LOT of them to choose from. You can be entertained, educated and enthralled by Podcasts that are archived or added every day.

Just Five Minutes – Explore Podcasts

In the video, I mentioned one of my favorites as the Women’s Entrepreneur Association, but it’s actually the Female Entrepreneur Association Podcasts by Carrie Green.

Also, the Podcast Serial on This American Life can be found here:

Another favorite of mine is Harper Collins Presents. This link is to the iTunes subscription, but if you don’t have iTunes, I’m sure you can subscribe in another way. I’m currently obsessed with the audio retelling of After the Funeral, by Agatha Christie. It’s delivered in parts and I feel like I understand what it must have been like for my parents to listen to a radio program once a week and have to wait for the next installment.

Hope you enjoy a podcast or two. And as always, let me know what love to listen to.

That’s your Just Five Minutes for today. I’m off to find out what happened to the Abernathy family After the Funeral or to Bowe Bergdahl in the second season of Serial.

 

 

Celebrating Me and You and Wonder Woman

Amazon. Hero. Icon. This book by Robert Greenberger is terrific.

 

The women in my family have this thing we do when we’re having a tough day. You know those days – when everything seems to go wrong and there’s a shadow phrase lurking in the back of your mind? That dreaded thought emerges – ‘What else could go wrong today?” And before we say it or even let it form into a solidified question in our minds, we remind each other to do the Wonder Woman Turn.

The Wonder Woman Turn consists of turning yourself around, counter clockwise three times, with your arms flung wide, just like Linda Carter showed you in the TV show. Then you shake off the bad mojo and click your wrists together, and walk away, confident that you have gotten rid of whatever it was that momentarily took hold of your day. (Trust me It works. Try it next time you have an awful day.)

But today, I am reminded of the power of the iconic Wonder Woman to make us all feel strong and brave. Wonder Woman represents truth and justice and patriotism. But more than that, she represents power – the power to change the world, or even just our little corner of it. We can and have done so much!

Today is International Women’s Day, created in 1977 as “a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.” You can find more info here: http://www.internationalwomensday.com

I hope today, of all days, you don’t have to do the Wonder Woman turn because things are going badly. I hope you can do it with pride and gratitude, for all the women who have gone before you, those who have connected with you now, and those whose lives you are shaping along the way to their amazing future.

Here’s to your inner Wonder Woman and mine!

 

 

I’m No Fool

from stagevu.com

Jiminy Cricket I\’m No Fool

It’s hard for me to believe that I turned fifty years old a few weeks ago. I didn’t come at this birthday kicking and screaming, although my forty-eight year old self definitely thought I would. Toward the beginning of the year, I felt a bit squeamish about the whole idea. But as September neared, I settled into an acceptance combined with a curiosity about how the next half of my life will play out.

You see, I am going to live to be 103 so I’ve got a lot of living left to do! As a child, one of my favorite short films became a sort of mantra to live a long and healthy life. My mentor, Jiminy Cricket, showed me ‘How to Have Fun Safely’ and live to be 103. (You can see Jiminy in this cartoon short by clicking here or on the link just under his picture.) The lessons I learned from Jiminy as a child felt very different than they do today. I have definitely refined these principles! But here are a few kernels of Jiminy’s wisdom and a look at how I have incorporated this advice today.

“You should always do things the right way.” As a child, I really embraced the rules. Like most, I was a very concrete thinker and Jiminy’s advice made perfect sense. “Only a fool does things the wrong way!” he admonished. These days, I still take this to heart, but the “right way” is the way that works for me and intuitively feels aligned with my inner wisdom. Sometimes I have to ask myself what to do or how to get somewhere several times before I’m satisfied that it’s really right for me. But in this first fifty years, I’ve learned that going against my grain means a longer path to what works and a lot more discomfort than I’d like along the way. I have to trust that I already know the right way and just do it.

Giving it a Twirl

“You should always make time for fun.” Whenever I feel overwhelmed or cross, I can usually step back and see where I let go of fun. I’m one of those people who need a lot of laughter and lightness in my life. When I get my fun back, I’m back in balance.

“You can relax your body, but your mind should always stay alert.” Jiminy meant this as a way of ensuring that his audience wouldn’t fall through ice or play in a dangerous construction site. But for me, this adage has taken on a whole new meaning – one that sometimes makes me a little crazy! My brain almost never shuts down anymore – in fact, it really only rests when I pause to meditate, and even then I can sometimes wander around a conundrum of intrusive thoughts. I have had to learn to control those thoughts and stop ruminating on those that don’t serve me well. It’s simple but not easy! These days, I try to keep my mind alert with positive thinking rather than relenting to the anxiety that used to plague me.

“Never overload a boat.” My life choices so far have taught me a valuable lesson about adding too much to my life. There was a time that I volunteered more hours than most people work in a typical week! I tried to be all for all who needed me and put myself last on the list every time. That is until I learned about the importance of self care and saying no. My wiser, fifty-year old self knows that I can’t cram too much into one day without feeling like I’ve failed, so I have simply stopped overloading myself. Years ago, white space in my calendar might have made me feel like I was unpopular or unsuccessful. Now, lots of white space means I’m leaving a lot of room to work more efficiently with less stress. I take people with me on the boat sometimes, but they can’t all come at once and they have to be able to leave the boat when I say it’s time.

“He climbs up on a wobbly peak and what happens is no joke.” One of the greatest gifts I received when I entered into coach training was the knowledge I gained around the development of a personal foundation. It is also one of the most popular reasons my clients hire me – they want to regain control and build a solid foundation on which to create a successful life and career. We all realize the dangers of moving ahead without shoring up, yet sometimes we’ve had to do it anyway. Personal foundation work includes looking at what you value, what keeps you in your integrity, how to remove those things you are tolerating and, maybe most critical, how to set strong and consistent boundaries with yourself and with others. Most of my clients worry more about their personal foundation than the numbers on their balance sheets. They feel like their work time and the time spent living is out of balance. And conversely, when attention is paid here, success begins to fall more easily and naturally into place.

So it turns out this cartoon short from my childhood has served me well into the 20th anniversary of my 30th birthday. Thanks to Jiminy, I’m going to live a happy life while I’m moving ahead toward 103. Maybe I’ll see you there. I’ll be the one wearing a top hat and tails!