Tag Archives: reading

Instruments of Grace

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Recently, I posted on Facebook that I am reading Waking Up in Winter by Cheryl Richardson. In truth, I am listening to it on Audiobook, which is always nicer when it’s read by the author. I’m enjoying this book so far – it’s very different from her others because it’s a journaled memoir. At the start of the book, she mentions that her husband reminded her of her love for May Sarton’s journals, so she structured this new book in much the same way.

The added gift for me in all of this is that it reminded me of my own love of May Sarton’s journals and that I have had Journal of a Solitude in my Kindle library for quite awhile. I used to own Plant Dreaming Deep and lost my copy of it to the storm all those years ago. “Why haven’t I read this one yet?” I wondered to myself.

Fast forward a few days when I decide to pick up Journal of a Solitude while simultaneously reading Waking Up in Winter. Reading them both is a great way of caring for myself during this introspective time of the year. Lately, I’ve felt a yearning inside of me, but I wasn’t quite sure what I was longing for. Reading both of these books seemed like a good place to discover what’s been missing.

What these two memoirs have given me so far is a reminder to notice the beauty that is all around me. I can get very distracted by work, time commitments, and a desire to do all the things I want to do. And those distractions keep me from really noticing the silky golden beauty of my granddaughter’s hair or the perfect grace of my cat’s leap onto the couch just before he snuggles next to me.

While uncovering and re-positioning plants after the latest freeze, I noticed how the Jasmine’s leaves are still so shiny and was reminded that we will soon see the tiny buds of her flowers begin to show. ( I am so grateful she didn’t wither away during this cold winter we’ve been having.)

Mardi Gras is early this year, so I am delighted by social media photos of the vibrant colors on glorious Carnival ball gowns. And the familiar Zydeco music on my Pandora playlist begins to fill my office because I am ready to wake up a little myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This morning I made a new chili recipe and I was happy to see the mix of yellow corn, red tomatoes and black beans. And the smell of Coriander and Cumin are all around me as I write this post.

I don’t like getting so caught up with the every day routine of life that I forget to notice and articulate the beautiful things that surround me.

Even before I recognized what was happening, I was drawn to the simple beauty of the blog, videos and Instagram photos of A Wooden Nest. Seeing the simple made wonderful in knitting a pair of socks or making a pot of oatmeal made me instantly connect with this woman’s work.

Once I connected with the realization that I was craving simple beauty, it all made sense. The journal memoirs, the videos and the enjoyment of being outside again after weeks and weeks of bitter cold weather – I needed to pay attention to all of it.

Noticing creates connections to those things I love – those things I am craving. Beauty brings me back to myself.

May Sarton said “Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.”

So that’s my deeper intention for this little while – to slow down and force patience. To seek out the instruments of grace that surround me.

Now that I’ve opened my eyes, they won’t be hard to find.

Summer of Self Care – Day 26

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Retreat

Over the years, I have discovered the value of creating Retreat as a frequent self care practice.

When I use this work with clients, sometimes they think creating retreat is impossible because it involves going away and planning a bunch of activities. But retreat is just about stepping back and creating some nurturing space and time for yourself. Retreat might be a couple of hours, a half-day or an entire week.

In the past, when I have needed immediate and extreme self care, I have engaged in a half day retreat created on the fly. On one occasion, I made a pot of hot tea, pulled out some favorite magazines, lit some scented candles and put on a calming music station on Pandora. I spent a couple of hours being mindful of my breathing and surrendered to the peaceful calm retreat space I had created on my couch.

You certainly can create a more formal retreat by arranging to stay somewhere outside of your home and engage in spa treatments, a weekend of reading, hiking or eating food prepared by someone else.

Whatever works for you in the moment is what you need.

Be aware that sometimes when we get caught up in the idea of creating an away from home retreat, we put it off because other things like work and family responsibilities get in the way. In a coaching session many years ago, I vowed to my coach that I was going to go on a retreat to a favorite cabin in the woods after I moved my mom from Florida to Mississippi. Little did I realize how much was involved in acclimating her to the new space. I found myself consumed with visiting her daily, along with meetings with her care team. Before I knew it, six months had gone by and the favorite cabin in the woods was now closed permanently.

I’ve learned that creating retreat space could happen almost instantly if I changed my view of what a retreat had to include.

So here’s the bare bones basics of creating a Retreat:

  • Create intentional time for yourself completely dedicated to self care in whatever form that takes in the moment.
  • Do that by listening to the voice of your soul.

That’s it!

from Cheryl Richardson’s Self-Care Card Deck

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of my favorite things to use for myself and my clients is a Self-Care card from a deck released by Cheryl Richardson. The Retreat card shown here is from that deck. I take a few deep breaths and pull a card for a client in a session or for myself once a week or so. Then I keep it propped up on my desk so that I am reminded of what I need to practice to achieve a greater sense of self care that week.

So today, start by thinking about what Retreat might look like for you. Pick a day or several days that you will devote to Retreat. Don’t wait too long!

Extra Credit –

You can create your own self care deck as well by thinking of those things that promote self care for you and creating a deck of cards. Or create a self care journal with lists of your favorite self care prompts and journaling entries when you need it most. You can continue to add to it as you begin to practice self care more often and add your favorites to the list.

Summer of Self Care – Day 8

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Summer Reading Day  

As a teenager, summer reading for me used to involve a paperback, a beach towel and some baby oil to encourage fast tanning.

Okay, it doesn’t have to be a paperback, and PLEASE don’t use baby oil, but summer does evoke a picture in your mind, right?

Doesn’t this just make you want to brew a cuppa, go outside crack open a good book?

I remember lots of summers spent reading as a child or young adult, and just not because I had a school summer reading list. (Although the idea of a summer reading list filled me with joy. I do realize that this isn’t the case for everyone.)

Reading all day makes the day go by very slowly. And, even if you are an avid reader, when was the last time you read a book outside? We get busy and forget that joy of reading a good book by the lake, in the backyard under a tree, in a rocking chair on the front porch or….you get the hint.

If you’re lucky and you have the whole day in front of you, by all means I say take a day to read. But if you’re like most people, you’ll need to carve out some time. First step – schedule it in for today. Try not to leave it for the last moments of the day, or you may find yourself falling asleep before you really start to enjoy it. And what about a trip to a bookstore or the library today to choose something special to read? If you’re not sure what might interest you, they often have a summer reading display or you can browse the list of current bestsellers. (Here’s the current NYT Online list of E-book and Print Fiction)

There are no rules for what you should be reading during the summer. This morning, I heard someone say, “I’m reading The Picture of Dorian Gray. Not exactly good summer reading, is it?”  Why not?

And it doesn’t have to be a book, does it?

You might go to the library or the bookstore and pick up a magazine you’ve never read before, just because it piques your interest. Or find an old favorite that you haven’t read for awhile. Or a magazine you might normally consider a guilty pleasure or “trashy.” A secret pal at work once gave me an issue of the National Enquirer, which I found to be an outrageously fun and silly way to spend that hour.

Audio books and podcasts are also encouraged if you want someone else to tell you a story. (I filmed a Just Five Minutes about Podcasts awhile ago – they are podcasts about every subject you can imagine. And one of my favorites is Harper Collins Audio.)

And don’t forget Short Stories, Essays or Novellas – often overlooked, if you ask me.

The only “self care rule” I think you should consider about this prompt today is to make sure it’s something you want to read for you and for fun, rather than a must read for work, school or someone else’s request.

So, this prompt is Read for Pleasure today, preferably not online or on a tablet if you can get away with that. (Unplugging, even just for an hour, is also self-care at its best these days. And get ready because, if you’re up to it, we are about to schedule a Tech Free Day!)

So Many Books, So Much Time

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Years ago, I saw this quote somewhere in my sister’s house:

“So Many Books, So Little Time.”

I had an immediate reaction to this statement. It filled me with sadness and anxiety. Always an avid reader, I’ve had a list of books I want to read since I was like 4 years old! I learned to read at an early age and standing in the stacks at the library, perusing book titles, was one of my favorite things to do. It still is.

I’m going to be very transparent with you. We all have our quirks, right? So I’m going to be honest about one of mine.

When I am feeling really anxious or like things are out of control, I begin to hoard books. I do this in a couple of ways: I go to the library and check out two or three; I look at my own library of books and grab a few off the shelf, stacking them on my nightstand; or I pick up my tablet and start shopping for e-books and download a few.

Some may see chaos. I see normal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I used to get annoyed with myself when I did this. I would stare at the stack of books that would likely go unread and think, “Why did you do this, crazy girl? You have so many books to read already!”

I’m not sure I yet have the full answer to why this happens to me. But lately I have wondered if it’s a response to the feeling I had, and continue to have, when I see that statement.

“So many books, so little time.”

When I feel pressured or anxious about time, work or some other sort of issue that makes me feel like I have no control, the one thing I CAN control is my ability to read. I can also control what books TO read. I can almost always find TIME to read, even if it’s just for ten minutes before falling asleep. Ten minutes of reading time a day isn’t ideal, but it’s enough.

Recently, I finished an e-book I had borrowed from the library and removed it from my Kindle shelf. I looked at what remained in my library and thought about all the purchased e-books I hadn’t read yet. My TBR, if you will – To Be Read. I have this shelf on my Goodreads account too. There are 418 books on that shelf. If I listed my TBR for a lifetime, it would range in the tens of thousands, I am sure. Maybe even six digits.

So why don’t I feel anxious about that? I honestly don’t know. I just don’t. Every once in awhile, I get a little annoyed with myself for the number of books I’ve started and haven’t finished. I’ll return them to the library or ask myself where I am feeling out of control. But I quickly recognize there are also other reasons I have a stack of books on my nightstand. For example, I’m reading Under Surge, Under Siege, The Odyssey of Bay St. Louis and Katrina written by Ellis Anderson. (She’s a friend of mine, I’m delighted to say!) It’s a beautifully written book, but it’s about Hurricane Katrina, which is still a bit traumatic to me, so I read it in small doses. A few others on my shelf are good, but for some reason difficult to sail through quickly. Some are meant to read a bit, process and then read a bit more, like Emotional Yoga: How the Body Can Heal the Mind. I review the currently reading list now and again and make sure I still want to finish that book, or I give myself permission to let it go and never finish.

I couldn’t do that when I was younger, by the way. I used to feel it was my moral obligation to finish every book I started. These days, I just think they aren’t all going to be winners for me, in that moment. I may go back eventually or I may just give myself permission to take it off the currently reading shelf.

Picking up a stack of books and deciding whether to read them now or later is something I can control. It’s something I love to do. When everything is feeling off kilter, reading is an activity that is at the center of my being. It always has been and always will be. There are so many books and so much time for me to read the ones I want to read.

So here’s why I know now that I collect books when I am stressed:

  • Believing I will be able to read everything I want to read makes me feel like the chaotic feelings or events around me will eventually subside.
  • Finding a new book I’ve never heard of  brings me into the awareness and  possibility of a new story.
  • Re-reading a favorite book allows me to experience it in a new way.
  • Having a variety of books near me to read at any given moment is one thing that calms me when nothing else can.
  • Even ten minutes of reading a day makes me happy.
  • Reading brings me to my Center.

While picking up five books might seem like creating chaos to some people, to me it feels strangely calming and natural.  All these years later, after reading that horrifying quote, I know that there will always be books around me. Everywhere I need them to be.

I recently created a TBR Jar so I can choose randomly when I don’t know what I want to read. This jar only contains a few of the books on my lists or in my bookshelves that I hope to read.

After all, so many TBR jars, so many book titles to fill them.

My TBR Jar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Power of a Notebook

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One of my favorite notebooks – Laurel Burch designs always make me happy.

You may think I’m going to talk about the famous Nicolas Sparks movie that everyone loves and correlate it to everyday life. But, no.

I’m talking about the power of keeping a notebook by your side, everywhere you go, to record your thoughts, ideas, learning points, motivational quotes, dreams, goals and connections.

The power of a notebook is simple and yet so profound. If you carry around a small pad with you everywhere you go, nothing you ever think, hear or say is lost to you. You never have to worry about whether it will come back around again or what happens if you forget it completely. It’s there – in ink. Until you decide to deal with it.

And I am a big believer in carrying one with you to meetings, keeping one on your desk, in your car, in your purse, on your nightstand – everywhere you may need one in case something sparks.

And don’t forget the ‘dealing with it’ part. It’s not enough to keep writing things down. You have to do something with them or those ideas are no good to you.

So here’s an example of what’s in one of the notebooks that I carry around:

Notes from a Women Entrepreneurs’ meeting in May about the Imposter Syndrome, minutes from a board I serve as Secretary, notes from a conference call for a client, ideas for speakers for my podcast, Just 5 Minutes blog ideas, a couple of quotes and some personal goals. In another notebook, I keep notes on books I am reading and books I want to read during the month. (yeah, bookish girls make monthly book goals).  The notebook by my bed ensures I remember dreams or other thoughts and ideas I have while I am just waking up or about to go to sleep.

I also write Morning Pages every morning  and sometimes have ideas while I am journaling (I have done Morning Pages, inspired by Julia Cameron’s work for over 10 years – see here for more).  But I can’t keep them in that space because I’d have to remember what day I had the idea. I simply transfer the idea to the notebook that’s the best fit and I’m all set.

What happens to those notes? I pull out and file the Imposter Syndrome notes to use for clients or for a future workshop topic. I type out the board minutes and mark them as done. I act on the conference call notes, speakers, and blog ideas.  I make the quotes into Memes for social media and I transfer the personal goals to my planner if they are a monthly goal or to my year-long plan if they are long-term.

Notes can also be delegated to someone else – staff, friends, family members, colleagues – whoever might be able to execute a task or move an idea into production.

If you review the notes and decide you really don’t want to do anything with that idea, you have a couple of options: discard it forever or give it to someone else who might want to act on it. That’s easy for me because I often think of ideas that will help my clients and this is a great way for me to remember those ideas between sessions.

Personally, I collect notebooks so that I’m never without one when I need it most. The prettier they are, the more I love them. I have small ones, larger ones, spiral bound and staple bound. They don’t have to cost a lot. I’ve even found some cute little notebooks at the Dollar Store or in Target’s dollar bins.  Some of mine have gorgeous, textured or leather-bound covers. Others are plain and perfect in their simplicity.

 

Just a few of my current notebooks.

If this sounds like it will work for you, pull a notebook out of your supply cabinet or junk drawer. Or go pick one up at the store. And start recording those ideas that come to you while you are driving, eating or sleeping. You’ll be glad you did.

(And for those who don’t like the paper and pen kind of notetaking, use an app like Evernote or the Note pad on your phone. You can also record notes on your voice memo recorder as well. Just make sure you have it nearby when the inspiration strikes.)