Summer of Self Care – Day 18

Decluttering: One Pile at a Time

Disclaimer: This is NOT my clutter. It’s a free stock photo. But it could be…

Today’s self care for the summer prompt is brought to you by someone who sometimes worries that she is a hoarder. Yep! That’s me!

After we lost everything in Hurricane Katrina, I realized I had accumulated a lot of stuff. Seeing that pile of home debris out front of our home made me feel sad and discouraged. After living without all that stuff for awhile, I felt as though most of that stuff was essentially unnecessary as well.

And almost immediately, people started replenishing household items and my creative supplies. I appreciated that greatly. And felt like I “deserved” to pick up a few things myself. Then, gradually, I started accumulating the same number of bookcases full of books. Add the death of my mom and the acquisition of the things she had kept, I began to realize I had started to accumulate more than I have room to store.

I am confronted with the realization that I have a lot of stuff. And that said piles of stuff sometimes makes me a little less than calm.

At the beginning of the year, I made a commitment to make decluttering one of my daily habits. Because it’s so important to me, I decided I needed to spend a little or a lot of time every day going through my stuff and purging what isn’t serving me any more. Or yes, what isn’t bringing me joy. I do like the philosophy of that book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  I don’t take it all completely to heart, but there are parts of her process that I think are very effective.

Now you don’t have to declutter every day, but if there’s a space or a category of things you are feeling crowded by, today’s the day to take on the process of decluttering. And note that I said “process” – because it is not an event.

Decluttering takes consistent time and effort. It’s more of a self care activity than many people realize. Getting rid of clutter brings in space for things that will really serve you. However, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge your feelings when you are sad about the connection you feel to a particular item. Sometimes we hold on to things that are broken, just because they were given by or belonged to someone we love and miss. Give yourself permission to take a bit of time to let go of things that are emotionally connected.

Clutter lives in your home, your car, and your office.

How many emails show up in your inbox every day that you delete without reading? Are you subscribed to things that just clutter up your inbox?

Is your sock drawer full of “holy socks?”

Are you regularly wearing all your clothes or shoes in the closet?

For me, taking on the task of laying new flooring in about half of our home, I am hyper focused on clutter. As we empty a room, I am mindful of what I can do without so I don’t have to bring the same amount back in. Even though I recently decluttered my clothes and office supplies, I am finding that a second pass through results in the decision to trim off just a little bit more.

And it feels good to release it all! You can donate stuff to a local charity or host a yard sale – both feel great!

Decluttering is an act of self care and creates space for more self care. We feel differently when we carry a lighter load.

Starting now means you will have less stuff before the holidays. Imagine how that would change the way you decorate for and celebrate the holidays? And your clutter just might be someone else’s “Christmas in July.”

So Many Books, So Much Time

Years ago, I saw this quote somewhere in my sister’s house:

“So Many Books, So Little Time.”

I had an immediate reaction to this statement. It filled me with sadness and anxiety. Always an avid reader, I’ve had a list of books I want to read since I was like 4 years old! I learned to read at an early age and standing in the stacks at the library, perusing book titles, was one of my favorite things to do. It still is.

I’m going to be very transparent with you. We all have our quirks, right? So I’m going to be honest about one of mine.

When I am feeling really anxious or like things are out of control, I begin to hoard books. I do this in a couple of ways: I go to the library and check out two or three; I look at my own library of books and grab a few off the shelf, stacking them on my nightstand; or I pick up my tablet and start shopping for e-books and download a few.

Some may see chaos. I see normal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I used to get annoyed with myself when I did this. I would stare at the stack of books that would likely go unread and think, “Why did you do this, crazy girl? You have so many books to read already!”

I’m not sure I yet have the full answer to why this happens to me. But lately I have wondered if it’s a response to the feeling I had, and continue to have, when I see that statement.

“So many books, so little time.”

When I feel pressured or anxious about time, work or some other sort of issue that makes me feel like I have no control, the one thing I CAN control is my ability to read. I can also control what books TO read. I can almost always find TIME to read, even if it’s just for ten minutes before falling asleep. Ten minutes of reading time a day isn’t ideal, but it’s enough.

Recently, I finished an e-book I had borrowed from the library and removed it from my Kindle shelf. I looked at what remained in my library and thought about all the purchased e-books I hadn’t read yet. My TBR, if you will – To Be Read. I have this shelf on my Goodreads account too. There are 418 books on that shelf. If I listed my TBR for a lifetime, it would range in the tens of thousands, I am sure. Maybe even six digits.

So why don’t I feel anxious about that? I honestly don’t know. I just don’t. Every once in awhile, I get a little annoyed with myself for the number of books I’ve started and haven’t finished. I’ll return them to the library or ask myself where I am feeling out of control. But I quickly recognize there are also other reasons I have a stack of books on my nightstand. For example, I’m reading Under Surge, Under Siege, The Odyssey of Bay St. Louis and Katrina written by Ellis Anderson. (She’s a friend of mine, I’m delighted to say!) It’s a beautifully written book, but it’s about Hurricane Katrina, which is still a bit traumatic to me, so I read it in small doses. A few others on my shelf are good, but for some reason difficult to sail through quickly. Some are meant to read a bit, process and then read a bit more, like Emotional Yoga: How the Body Can Heal the Mind. I review the currently reading list now and again and make sure I still want to finish that book, or I give myself permission to let it go and never finish.

I couldn’t do that when I was younger, by the way. I used to feel it was my moral obligation to finish every book I started. These days, I just think they aren’t all going to be winners for me, in that moment. I may go back eventually or I may just give myself permission to take it off the currently reading shelf.

Picking up a stack of books and deciding whether to read them now or later is something I can control. It’s something I love to do. When everything is feeling off kilter, reading is an activity that is at the center of my being. It always has been and always will be. There are so many books and so much time for me to read the ones I want to read.

So here’s why I know now that I collect books when I am stressed:

  • Believing I will be able to read everything I want to read makes me feel like the chaotic feelings or events around me will eventually subside.
  • Finding a new book I’ve never heard of  brings me into the awareness and  possibility of a new story.
  • Re-reading a favorite book allows me to experience it in a new way.
  • Having a variety of books near me to read at any given moment is one thing that calms me when nothing else can.
  • Even ten minutes of reading a day makes me happy.
  • Reading brings me to my Center.

While picking up five books might seem like creating chaos to some people, to me it feels strangely calming and natural.  All these years later, after reading that horrifying quote, I know that there will always be books around me. Everywhere I need them to be.

I recently created a TBR Jar so I can choose randomly when I don’t know what I want to read. This jar only contains a few of the books on my lists or in my bookshelves that I hope to read.

After all, so many TBR jars, so many book titles to fill them.

My TBR Jar