Tag Archives: caring

Instruments of Grace

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Recently, I posted on Facebook that I am reading Waking Up in Winter by Cheryl Richardson. In truth, I am listening to it on Audiobook, which is always nicer when it’s read by the author. I’m enjoying this book so far – it’s very different from her others because it’s a journaled memoir. At the start of the book, she mentions that her husband reminded her of her love for May Sarton’s journals, so she structured this new book in much the same way.

The added gift for me in all of this is that it reminded me of my own love of May Sarton’s journals and that I have had Journal of a Solitude in my Kindle library for quite awhile. I used to own Plant Dreaming Deep and lost my copy of it to the storm all those years ago. “Why haven’t I read this one yet?” I wondered to myself.

Fast forward a few days when I decide to pick up Journal of a Solitude while simultaneously reading Waking Up in Winter. Reading them both is a great way of caring for myself during this introspective time of the year. Lately, I’ve felt a yearning inside of me, but I wasn’t quite sure what I was longing for. Reading both of these books seemed like a good place to discover what’s been missing.

What these two memoirs have given me so far is a reminder to notice the beauty that is all around me. I can get very distracted by work, time commitments, and a desire to do all the things I want to do. And those distractions keep me from really noticing the silky golden beauty of my granddaughter’s hair or the perfect grace of my cat’s leap onto the couch just before he snuggles next to me.

While uncovering and re-positioning plants after the latest freeze, I noticed how the Jasmine’s leaves are still so shiny and was reminded that we will soon see the tiny buds of her flowers begin to show. ( I am so grateful she didn’t wither away during this cold winter we’ve been having.)

Mardi Gras is early this year, so I am delighted by social media photos of the vibrant colors on glorious Carnival ball gowns. And the familiar Zydeco music on my Pandora playlist begins to fill my office because I am ready to wake up a little myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This morning I made a new chili recipe and I was happy to see the mix of yellow corn, red tomatoes and black beans. And the smell of Coriander and Cumin are all around me as I write this post.

I don’t like getting so caught up with the every day routine of life that I forget to notice and articulate the beautiful things that surround me.

Even before I recognized what was happening, I was drawn to the simple beauty of the blog, videos and Instagram photos of A Wooden Nest. Seeing the simple made wonderful in knitting a pair of socks or making a pot of oatmeal made me instantly connect with this woman’s work.

Once I connected with the realization that I was craving simple beauty, it all made sense. The journal memoirs, the videos and the enjoyment of being outside again after weeks and weeks of bitter cold weather – I needed to pay attention to all of it.

Noticing creates connections to those things I love – those things I am craving. Beauty brings me back to myself.

May Sarton said “Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.”

So that’s my deeper intention for this little while – to slow down and force patience. To seek out the instruments of grace that surround me.

Now that I’ve opened my eyes, they won’t be hard to find.

Summer of Self Care – Day 25

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The Power of Your Words  

“It just seems impossible.” I said to my daughter recently when talking about the setbacks we’re experiencing as we navigate this DIY home improvement project. “You can do it!” she replied. “Don’t say it’s impossible!”

She’s right and I know she’s right because she learned that words have power from a few very smart people.

One of them is – Me.

I do believe that the words we hear often are the words we believe or that keep rattling around in our brain long enough that we take them in.

Years ago, I learned about an experiment involving words and water while watching a movie called What The Bleep Do We Know? I had already been studying a lot about the effect of my words on my feelings and beliefs. The work of Dr. Masaru Emoto boggled my mind. Here’s a summary of his findings when he combined water and words.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masaru_Emoto

Whether you believe in his experiment or believe the critics that say it’s ridiculous really doesn’t matter. For me, after learning about this experiment, I decided on one small way to incorporate it into my own life. And I still have a water bottle with the words “infinite gratitude” and “infinite love” written on the side. Even if those words don’t change the water, they remind me to change my thoughts and words every time I take a sip.

I also began long ago to think about the words that come into my brain and/or out of my mouth. Sounds simple, right? It’s simple, but not always easy. A lot of words come into my awareness every day. I hear them spoken by others as well on the television or in conversations online and in real life. So no, I can’t always hear, think or say loving, wonderful and kind things to and about myself or to and about others. It’s a constant process for me. And it’s harder when my stress level is high. But I still believe in the importance of choosing my thoughts and words carefully and I have experienced many times when words influenced my mood, my behaviors and my experiences with others. And I listen to my daughter and others when they remind me that my words aren’t kind or affirming – I appreciate the reminders very much. I try to remind others gently as well.

Words matter. Sometimes we speak to or about ourselves in ways that we would never speak to others.

Think about this Meme for just a second.

Be Beautiful

 

Today’s self care prompt is to create affirming words or thoughts that are kind and loving – that maybe you can repeat today and every day.

One of my favorite calming affirmations is from Louise Hay.

“All is well. Everything is working for my highest good. Out of this situation only good will come. And I am safe.” It’s written on a dry-erase board in my office. I use it during my morning yoga practice so I will begin my day saying and thinking those thoughts.

Take a few moments to think about these questions:

What words matter to you today?

What words would move you forward to where you want to be?

What words make you feel and look beautiful?

What words would make you feel loved and cared for?

What loving words do you say often to others that you could be saying to yourself?

Proofs of Self-Love

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Chances are if you go shopping today, you will encounter aisles filled with last minute shoppers searching for the perfect greeting card with an Mp3 song that expresses a beautiful or funny sentiment. Or maybe you’ll notice large stuffed animals with a message embroidered on a large heart carried between their furry paws. If you love chocolates, I hope you get a great big box of chewy caramels or chocolate covered peanut clusters! Pierre Reverdy said “There is no love; there are only proofs of love.” Whatever love might be felt in the heart, we use this day as a way of expressing that love to others through gifts and special treatment.

Yet many jilted lovers will spend the day trying not to cry at their desks or listening to their ‘angry break up song playlist’ on their iPod. Thanks to Adele, many of them now have anthems they can listen to over and over as they try to get over the love they’ve lost. Today, lots of people will express the belief that true love begins with self love. But do they really believe that?

As a coach, I have to say that I do. I have seen countless examples where people took the time to work on their own self-loving, self-care plan, only to come out on the other side with the surprising realization that their relationships blossomed, deepened, or shifted into a place that really began to fulfill their needs and expectations. Self love really does deepen the experience of loving another. And we don’t typically show ourselves many proofs of self love.

Here’s what I’d like you to take on today. I’d like you to agree to begin this Valentine’s Day to create a self-care plan for yourself. I’d like you to really think about one thing you could do each month to treat yourself more gently, more lovingly and with more self respect. At the end of the year, on February 14th 2013, review your year and see what you learned. Are you game?

And if you need some help along the way, that’s what I’m here for. I’ve been working on being more self-loving for awhile and I can tell you it has tremendous benefits! Even though I am lucky enough to have what Etta James called a “Sunday kind of love” with someone special, I am just as grateful that I finally know what it means to love myself and to put myself on the list just as often as I care for others.

I hope you’ll show yourself some amazing Proofs of Love today. If you do, tell me about it by posting a comment here!