I Have A Love/Hate Relationship With Social Media

I’ve been on Facebook for awhile. I don’t know how long. I originally balked at the idea of creating a page. (I was, however, an avid MySpace user. What ever happened to MySpace??)

My youngest daughter convinced me that it was a good idea because I would be able to see many current pictures of my kids and my granddaughter. She was a baby, so I am guessing I joined some time in 2007.

I signed up for a Twitter account in January, 2009. I only have a little over 800 followers. Clearly, I’m not consistent.

Instagram – April, 2012.

Pinterest – Lord knows when.

YouTube – Yep. I’m there too. Look at the last video. I’ve cut my hair five times since then! (I’m more active sharing books on this channel for sure. Maybe that’s where my spare time is going?)

The point is…I can’t keep up with all of this stuff and I don’t even try any more. And sometimes, it annoys the hell out of me.

I think social media brings out the best and the worst of us. Just like I believe that we generally carry a blend of the best and the worst of our parents around in our pocket. Sometimes the best qualities emerge. Sometimes, we default to those phrases, habits or behaviors that don’t represent us in a generous light.

In the past 10 or so years, I have watched social media users say things that they might never have said in a face-to-face conversation. It’s escalated to a point that makes me cringe. Hastags like #fakenews are usually inserted when someone decries a media post about one highly charged or sensitive topic or another. I’ve seen examples of the very worst of human nature and I often see more than one in a day.

So why am I still logging in to these sites and sharing/posting/liking/commenting?

Because there are more examples of things that bring me joy.
Because I want to share joy with others.
Because life is too short to criticize another person and too long not to lift someone up or encourage them along the pathway.
Because I am connected to my tribe in groups that let the rest of the ugly fall away.
Because, despite all the things I dislike about social media, there are memories captured in each place that are important to me.

Like the tweeted photo of the night I met Kristen Chenowith and she sang a song about Mississippi to us after we saw her perform in Promises Promises.

How about my first blog post ever about my daughter leaving for college on MySpace?

Photos of my son’s graduation from University of Alabama as a Paramedic.

The first glimpses at my granddaughters births shared on Facebook.

Shares of my mom crowned as Mardi Gras Queen at the assisted facility where she lived nearby.

My daughter-in-law’s growth as a mother and entrepreneur.

Special Olympics events where my oldest carried the torch and competed bravely.

Numerous dance competitions and awards won by my tiny dancer.

And the business accounts I’ve created for 4 Elements Coaching. My infrequent posts are now proof that I am busy enough that I don’t have time to blog, tweet, post and share as often as I might want to do.

So yes, I may get tired of the complaints and insults and #fakenews. And yeah, I’m pretty inconsistent. But the honest truth is I’ll probably be around for awhile. And sometimes you may find me in person and we can chat a bit IRL. Which for me is infinitely better than your comment or laughing emoji.

And maybe soon, I’ll have to hire someone or learn a complicated new batching system through sites like Hootsuite or Meet Edgar to be able to really be consistent and keep up with it all.  (Meet Edgar would be my choice just because it has a cool name!)

See ya around the Social Meeds! (cuz I’m hip like that).

 

 

The  Gratitude Jar for The Relationship (with ourselves and with others)

A few months ago, a student mentioned to me that she was very excited about New Year’s Eve. I asked what special plans they had for the evening and she said it was very simple and low-key. “Each year, we put memories, thoughts or gratitudes into a big jar whenever we feel led to write them down, and we open it and read them on the last day of the year. We reflect on what went well and what we did together.”

This practice stayed in the back of my mind. Then the inviteCHANGE monthly webinar for January was on Incorporating Gratitude. When I hear something more than once, it’s time to pay attention to the lesson.

I’m pretty connected to gratitude as a daily practice, though it’s mostly in the form of gratitude journaling in my morning pages as well as noting the best parts of our day in a conversation that’s usually held during dinner time. But that can sometimes feel very routine.

Fast forward to my work with a relationship client and I mention that it might be helpful to start a Gratitude Jar. But, I suggest they not wait till the end of the year to take a look at it.

Several people in my life have begun this practice of capturing happy thoughts, memories, stories, etc. in a nearby jar. My daughter was gifted a Happy Memories jar by one of her co-workers. I immediately took advantage of her gift and stuck a note inside for her as well. She just takes one out when she feels like she needs or wants to read one the most.

So when I began writing this blog post, I really intended it to focus on how gratitude can improve our relationships with others. But frankly, beyond that, it really changes our own relationship with self – with awareness of what’s going well, which in turn leads us to moving into patterns that help us do well.

We can spend a lot of time complaining about what isn’t right or what doesn’t work. We can see examples of this in our own conversations with others, with social media conversations, in newspapers and on television.

Statements of gratitude help us to see that the world is a good place. That good things really do happen. We then, in turn, learn to see the good things more often, or at least AS often, as the not so good things.

It also helps us to remember what we are doing well, rather than always seeing those parts of us that we are most often critical about. We speak to self in ways we would never speak to friends or family. What if you picked one thing about your body, mind, spirit or character that you are grateful for every day? What if you noticed when you were kind to others or when you fulfilled a promise to do something for yourself? What if you said, “I am grateful for my work ethic – I showed up to work today even though I wanted to stay in bed and read a good book.”

Is it time for you to start a practice of self or relationship gratitude? Or if you already have a practice, is it time to add another component to it?

I’m looking for a pretty jar that can contain all the gratitude and happiness I can find. I’ll let you know when I find the perfect jar. But for now, I can start writing my gratitude on a tiny slip of paper right now.