Enliven me, 2019!

 

It’s that time again! Time for me to reflect on the past year, and time for me to choose my One Little Word to guide me throughout the year ahead. You may remember this practice from a post last year.  This year, I’m doing a bit more reflection than usual, and will engage with Ali Edwards in her One Little Word class. It will allow me to intentionally live and express my word and create something meaningful that will last a lifetime and beyond.

But first, a wrap up. Last year’s word was Create and I feel like I want to remember a few things that stand out as I reflect on this word.

I created an environment that inspired and supported my creativity. My office/studio is totally fresh and new, and I enjoy every moment I spend here.

I created spaciousness in my closets and drawers and files and cabinets. And maybe even more importantly, I created spaciousness in my schedule.

I created opportunities to build my business in new ways and increase my income.

I created scrapbook layouts and mini albums for myself and for others.

I helped to create Hygge in our home, and created beautiful spaces for us to enjoy every day.

I created new systems and processes to manage the workflow, which inspired new systems and processes for the near year to come.

I created opportunities to partner and create with others, to celebrate with friends and to enjoy the place we live and the places we love to visit even more.

I created a deeper love and trust in my relationships, leaning in to my own authentic voice and listening for that voice in others.

There’s even more, but I feel like you get the picture and I’ve documented enough to be able to reflect even more on this first day of a brand new year.

After much thought, the word I’ve chosen this year is Enliven. I was leaning toward another “E-Word” (Enough) when I received an email from my team leader at inviteCHANGE, where I am a part of an amazing group of coaches. She wrote, “Congratulations Laurie and it’s so fun to witness you enlivened and vital!”

When I am feeling enlivened, I am exhilarated and feel like I am operating at my highest potential. It’s a total elevation – a place I rise up to. And I think it is there that I am the most inspired and intuitive, probably because I’m connected to my magical child. I want to connect with her much more often.

After seeing mentor’s email, I knew that Enliven was just the right word for me in 2019. So, I’m going to take this on and carry it with me. Who knows what this new year will bring? How can it be anything but spectacular with this One Little Word by my side?

What’s Your One Little Word?

 

 

How One Little Word (or Three) Guides My Path

One of my favorite quotes from a favorite book.

As 2017 winds down to an end, I realize again how much I love this transition from the old to the new. Everything seems fresh and possible to me. A new year, a new day, a new hour. Everything that’s old is new again.

Honestly, the eve of the new year is one of my favorite days. Not because I like to go out to parties or even that I am likely to ring in the new year in any special way. Sometimes we don’t even stay up till midnight! It’s really because I am standing at the doorway to new beginnings.

I have a practice of choosing one word that will guide my actions, my thoughts and my behaviors during the year. Last year was “Simplicity.” I found that I purged, created better flow, looked for ways to let go of things, people and thoughts that were no longer serving me. The year before, my one little word was Brave, and I stretched myself out of my comfort zone time and time again, creating a sense that I just needed to honor that intention, and the rest would fall into place.

This year, my one little word is Create. In fact, I have a bit of a formula attached to it this year. So actually, it’s three little words:

Connect. Engage. Create.

The process, as I am envisioning it, begins with Connecting to my authentic self. The true longing of my soul. The inherent skills and talents I possess. My creative trio – mind, body and spirit.

Then, I Engage all of those aspects of myself as I connect to them. I call them to life. Summon all the best I have to offer in whatever it is I am designing.

Then the Creation begins – whether I have a plan of exactly what, why and how or whether there’s an end result I am looking for but have no idea how I will get there. For me, creating sometimes begins with knowing nothing. And sometimes, I have a clear sense of exactly what I am trying to achieve.

It’s hard for me to imagine what all I can accomplish with this word as my touchstone this year!

I encourage my clients to come up with one little word to guide their year as well. As a coach, I find that setting an intention for the year helps my clients move into the habits, opportunities and behaviors they are looking to practice or design.

Want to give it a try? It’s very simple. Just ask yourself – what’s your one little word for the year?

(Ali Edwards is a creative entrepreneur and has designed an entire course on the concept of creating One Little Word each year. You can find her work in this area here.)

 

 

When it’s time to change your story

A conversation with someone I’ve known for a long time reminded me of a challenge so many of us face.  We have a story we believe and continuously tell about ourselves, even if only in an internal dialogue. That story begins when we are born and what we are told, what we experience and what we want all comes together in a narrative we play subconsciously and often recite to others.

When I was a child, a woman who went to our church looked down at me one day and said, “Don’t worry sweetie, some day you’ll grow up to be a pretty girl.” Wow, right??! Basically, I heard, “You’re pretty ugly right now and hopefully you’ll grow up and be pretty.” What I internalized for YEARS was that I wasn’t pretty yet.

My friend relayed to me that her father said she wouldn’t ever amount to anything. She translated that to mean she would never be successful. It’s a limiting belief she lives with and probably thinks about often. When she searches her brain for memories, she finds experiences that reinforce her story that she will always be nothing much to talk about. Then she relays the story to me and probably to others.

A professor gave me a nugget of information once that changed my life. He said the thing is, our brain believes what we tell it to believe. If you tell yourself you are worthless, you’ll constantly feel worthless. If you keep repeating a successful story, you’ll begin to feel successful. Even if you had a bad experience in your life, you can stop feeding your brain with the same memory, dialogue or belief. You have the opportunity and all the skills you need to tell a new story.

So how do you tell a new and better story about yourself?  You have to create a new story or belief about yourself. And you have to tell it a lot – a lot more than the slightly or completely negative one you’ve told most of your life. It takes some effort. Think of it as a record album with grooves that the needle fits in to. Those grooves are deep. Your job is to change what plays in the grooves.

Seek out other stories about yourself that make that original story no longer true. Think of times you succeeded! Replay compliments you’ve received from others or times when clients or employees were extremely satisfied about something you’ve done.

To me, my friend is determined, a talented artist, compassionate, diligent and successful. She mentored me and helped me just because she is all of those things I described. She certainly didn’t have to put in the time with me. And she put in the time with about ten of us, creating a shared experience that I will never forget. I hope she can incorporate the parts of that experience into her own story. To me, she was everything I needed her to be at that time in my life.

One of my favorite gatherings with a group of friends happened one New Year’s Day several years ago. We were all thinking about the new year and decided we would go around the room and say one thing about each person that summed up how we felt about them. Meanwhile, a scribe wrote them all on a note pad and gave them to each person to keep. I carried mine in my wallet for years. Now I keep it on my desk and unfold it once in awhile.  It’s part of my new story. Some of the chapters of my story can still get pretty negative. It’s a constant and evolving process, especially when the examples I can point to so clearly reinforce those things I believe that just aren’t true. That little piece of paper helps a lot. So do all the people in my life who help to correct my story when I get it wrong.

Words for my new story

words for my new story

  • Mama – fixes anything
  • Strong – brings out the best in others
  • Integrity
  • My saving grace – my Queen
  • Intelligent – teacher
  • My heart
  • Profound

Wow, right?! That’s a story with a much happier ending.

Do you need help rewriting your new story? Ask for help – friends, mentors, family, colleagues, coaches and others are likely ready and willing to help you.

Journal it out – the old story and the new version. What words and phrases will you use to replace those that hurt you or changed your belief in yourself?

Start telling your new story.

 

“But her story isn’t finished, and for once she’s picked up a pen.”

Kelsey Sutton, Some Quiet Place

From Overwhelmed to Intentional

 

Happy New Year!! 

It’s been awhile since my last blog post, hasn’t it? Where have I been? I did not shut down my business or stop coaching. I did embark on a few years of intensive caregiving and advocating for my mother, who had Alzheimer’s Disease. We lost her on December 5th of 2013 and I began a new part-time position with AARP Mississippi just five days later! I knew this new job would give me more time to coach and work in my business. And it did. However, the challenge of learning new systems, technologies and training platforms meant I had to prioritize. So taking good care of my existing clients and helping new ones was THE most important thing I needed and wanted to do. Newsletters and blog posts could wait.

Rewinding, Reflection and Renewal

So one year later, 2015 has begun and I am reflecting on what I learned over the past two years. 2013 was filled with scheduling: work events, doctor’s appointments, care team meetings, applications and follow up. 2014 felt like it passed by in the blink of an eye, partly because I felt like I was always reacting, rather than responding. Do you ever feel that way too? I felt largely unprepared, like I wasn’t thinking ahead or planning anything at all. And in many cases, I wasn’t because so much of what I was experiencing in my new position was new and untested. But my business systems and personal stuff was fairly routine! I COULD plan and organize those things more efficiently. Why wasn’t I doing that? Upon reflection, I can say this: I did a LOT of things I had longed to do and couldn’t when I was caregiving for my mom and working myself to death. I spent a lot of time in 2014 doing what I love: scrapbooking, playing with my granddaughter, reading and relaxing. It took me awhile to realize that what I wasn’t getting done made space for me to be in renewal. To heal and rest.

New Year’s Resolutions don’t work for me. 

I read the other day that planning and organization are one of the top resolutions people make in the near year. Planning and organizing are certainly high on my list for 2015 too. But I don’t like the word “resolution” at all. The root word, resolute, is typically defined as ‘unwavering.’ My life wavers. People get sick, die, change jobs and move. And if I am unwavering, I am not flexible. Rather, I make ‘Intentions’ for the new year – things I intend to do, if everything lines up and stays favorable. If it doesn’t, then I can reflect and figure out how to stay generally focused. I reflect on the past year most years and this past few weeks, I have taken a lot of time to discover why I felt so overwhelmed.

I’d like to go through this with you too. 

I really want to share what I’ve learned and the process I go through with anyone who needs it. No kidding – I want everyone to stop feeling overwhelmed and to feel more prepared and responsive. But, there’s a lot – WAY too much to include in a newsletter or blog post.

That’s why I’m offering a free training call – Make It Meaningful: A Guide to Intentional Living and Working. I’ll spend about an hour telling you about where I was and where I am now, what helped and what didn’t, and how you can get closer to a more meaningful and intentional life and work environment. During the call we will:
1) Explore what you most want to do and how to stay out of rabbit holes;
2) Prioritize and then plan and organize those priorities;
3) Create a process for staying on track.

This call is absolutely free and happens on Monday, January 19th at 7:00 pm Eastern/6:00 pm Central time. That should give you some time to grab a little something to eat, find a note pad and a pen that writes and settle in your favorite quiet spot.

All you have to do to sign up is to email me at LaurieJohnson@4elementscoaching.com. Or you can go to my website at www.4elementscoaching.com and click on the Contact Us page, putting Make It Meaningful in the subject line. Then just write “Sign Me Up.”

The call will be recorded, but if you dial in live, you’ll have an opportunity to receive a free gift AND to participate in some other opportunities that will be offered in the next few months.

Start Right Now! 

If you want to make planning and responding a priority, start now by making this call a priority. Add it to your Outlook calendar or set an appointment and reminder on your smart phone. And be sure to invite your friends too – we all know someone who could use a little help, don’t we?

I can’t say for sure if I will be sending out regular newsletters or blogging weekly in 2015. It’s my intention to add these things back into my work and I have set these tactics as priorities in my schedule. But, as one of my colleagues often tells me, “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.” I know this: 2015 will be a meaningful year for me, just as 2014 was after a little learning and growing. My intentions are clear and I know what matters most in my life. I hope you have a beautiful new year, sprinkled with happiness and joy. If I can help you make that happen, my life will be more meaningful too!

My wish for you in 2012

This is one of my favorite times of the year.  A chance for me to purge the old and welcome new possibilities exists in this somewhat magical gap between one calendar year and the next.  We incorporate many rituals in my household, including those that are familiar like eating black-eyed peas and not putting up new calendars until after midnight. We also cleanse old energy from our home by lighting a smudge stick of sage and cedar and passing it through each room of the house. We put dimes under our threshold for prosperity and we open the windows in the East just before midnight to allow fresh, creative air to pass through our home, ensuring a successful and adventurous year. If our pantry is full at midnight, we believe we won’t hunger in the near year so grocery shopping is essential if our stores are low.

As 2011 comes to a close and 2012 begins, millions of us will take at least a few moments at some point or another to reflect on our accomplishments, our challenges and our hopes for the year ahead. Resolutions and intentions abound in the minds of those who strive to change old habits or create new ones. Fears about whether those resolutions will stick surface in our thoughts as we silently wonder if this will be the year we achieve our ideal weight or pay off debt. Self deprecating thoughts sneak in unbidden, yet familiar. Whether this review is something you enjoy or dread depends largely on the process and your state of mind going into the review.

This year, I used a process created by Rosetta Thurman, the Happy Black Woman. Her Review/Preview questions were similar to the ones I usually use and allowed me to feel complete about letting go of the old and embracing the new.  I value her work and hope you’ll take a look at her blog here.

I’m not a huge fan of resolutions. I do think an intentional practice of considering what’s working and what isn’t is important. Change isn’t always easy to maintain so don’t be hard on yourself.

I do know one thing for sure – if you do what you’ve been doing, you’ll get the same results. If you’re really happy where you are, you’ll be all set and probably don’t have need for a long list of resolutions.  If you want something better in your life, change something – even something small. Often, the mere fact that you take one baby step causes a momentum that will surprise you.

In my opinion, another really important piece about this process is the ability to see that there is possibility. I’d like to share a quote that closes one of my favorite novels – Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. The characters have both been on an incredible adventure that altered the course of their lives significantly. They overcame huge obstacles and found that they were completely in love and felt incredible hope for their future together. The author closes the book with this one very simple and yet powerful thought expressed by the narrator of their story.

“And the world was all around us, new with possibility.”

May the possibilities of 2012 be more than you could ever have imagined for yourself.