Tag Archives: connection

I Have A Love/Hate Relationship With Social Media

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I’ve been on Facebook for awhile. I don’t know how long. I originally balked at the idea of creating a page. (I was, however, an avid MySpace user. What ever happened to MySpace??)

My youngest daughter convinced me that it was a good idea because I would be able to see many current pictures of my kids and my granddaughter. She was a baby, so I am guessing I joined some time in 2007.

I signed up for a Twitter account in January, 2009. I only have a little over 800 followers. Clearly, I’m not consistent.

Instagram – April, 2012.

Pinterest – Lord knows when.

YouTube – Yep. I’m there too. Look at the last video. I’ve cut my hair five times since then! (I’m more active sharing books on this channel for sure. Maybe that’s where my spare time is going?)

The point is…I can’t keep up with all of this stuff and I don’t even try any more. And sometimes, it annoys the hell out of me.

I think social media brings out the best and the worst of us. Just like I believe that we generally carry a blend of the best and the worst of our parents around in our pocket. Sometimes the best qualities emerge. Sometimes, we default to those phrases, habits or behaviors that don’t represent us in a generous light.

In the past 10 or so years, I have watched social media users say things that they might never have said in a face-to-face conversation. It’s escalated to a point that makes me cringe. Hastags like #fakenews are usually inserted when someone decries a media post about one highly charged or sensitive topic or another. I’ve seen examples of the very worst of human nature and I often see more than one in a day.

So why am I still logging in to these sites and sharing/posting/liking/commenting?

Because there are more examples of things that bring me joy.
Because I want to share joy with others.
Because life is too short to criticize another person and too long not to lift someone up or encourage them along the pathway.
Because I am connected to my tribe in groups that let the rest of the ugly fall away.
Because, despite all the things I dislike about social media, there are memories captured in each place that are important to me.

Like the tweeted photo of the night I met Kristen Chenowith and she sang a song about Mississippi to us after we saw her perform in Promises Promises.

How about my first blog post ever about my daughter leaving for college on MySpace?

Photos of my son’s graduation from University of Alabama as a Paramedic.

The first glimpses at my granddaughters births shared on Facebook.

Shares of my mom crowned as Mardi Gras Queen at the assisted facility where she lived nearby.

My daughter-in-law’s growth as a mother and entrepreneur.

Special Olympics events where my oldest carried the torch and competed bravely.

Numerous dance competitions and awards won by my tiny dancer.

And the business accounts I’ve created for 4 Elements Coaching. My infrequent posts are now proof that I am busy enough that I don’t have time to blog, tweet, post and share as often as I might want to do.

So yes, I may get tired of the complaints and insults and #fakenews. And yeah, I’m pretty inconsistent. But the honest truth is I’ll probably be around for awhile. And sometimes you may find me in person and we can chat a bit IRL. Which for me is infinitely better than your comment or laughing emoji.

And maybe soon, I’ll have to hire someone or learn a complicated new batching system through sites like Hootsuite or Meet Edgar to be able to really be consistent and keep up with it all.  (Meet Edgar would be my choice just because it has a cool name!)

See ya around the Social Meeds! (cuz I’m hip like that).

 

 

Listen to the Rhythms of January

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Do you notice that January brings a desire to declutter, purge and re-organize your home, office and maybe even your car? If so, you’re not alone.

While the phrase “Spring Cleaning” is more popular than “January De-Cluttering,” this is a natural time for us to take stock and think about what we own, where we store it and whether it’s still relevant to our lives and our work.

If you’re feeling a desire to purge, declutter or re-organize, honor the feeling and do what you feel led to do. But don’t feel as though you have to do it all in one month. Listen to the natural rhythms that exist within your life and your climate. Maybe put an empty box by the back door and add to it when you find you can’t fit those coffee cups into the cabinet easily anymore. Or you discover some of the clothes you didn’t wear last year need to go to someone who will actually benefit from them this year.

December brings with it some gifts of food as well, making our bodies a bit overwhelmed. We often take stock of our eating and fitness habits during this time of year.

Winter is usually a time we draw inward and rest and reflect. So joining a gym and hitting it every day may be counterintuitive to your natural new year rhythms. Listen to what you feel like doing and think about when it may fit into your life. If you want to walk more, notice for a few days when you feel most like walking or moving your body a bit more. Track it for awhile and then see if that fits into your desired fitness schedule.

What would bring you comfort during this time of the year? Are you ready to create a sanctuary for the year ahead? A place that is visually stimulating and practical? Take one small step at a time and think first about which area of your life is pulling you with the strongest desire. Are you in need of warm baths with hot tea and a good book? Or do you feel like baking warm bread and sharing it with neighbors or friends.

What are you longing for?

Whatever is calling you, let it have a voice. When we connect with, listen to and honor our natural rhythms and desires, we are better for it.

 

Summer of Self Care – Day 9

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Tech Free Day 

Our lives are full of technology.

 

Here’s a gift of self care you can give yourself every week, month or for a few hours whenever you need it most. A Tech Free Day can be one of the slowest and most peaceful days you’ve spent in a long while.

Years ago, I discovered a blog post by Tiffany Schlain about her Technology Shabbats and we decided to give it a try. We picked a Friday night at sundown, even though we aren’t Jewish, and made sure to inform family members that we would be unplugged and would appreciate text or call silence unless there was an emergency.

The result? From Friday night sundown to Saturday night sundown was the slowest 24 hour period we could remember experiencing for a very long time. We were more connected to each other and present. We created new ways to spend our time. We were more mindful of just how we were spending our time AND how much of our thoughts centered around an automatic desire to look something up on the phone or to turn on the television.

It was bliss. It was awkward. It was funny and sad and made us think about how really disconnecting technology can be. For devices that are meant to connect us with information and entertainment and service or support, they sure are keeping us from connecting in a meaningful way with ourselves and others.

I can’t stress how slowly time passes without an iPhone, iPad, television, radio, or E-reader.

For me, unplugging now and again is a self care habit. It forces me to get quiet with myself and those around me. It promotes extreme mindfulness. It relaxes me.

Now, I know what you’re saying – “I can’t have a Tech Free Day today because I am already reading this email in my inbox or looking at this post on Facebook!”  I get it.

So you have a couple of options:

  1. Start your Tech Free Day some time today when you can and commit to 24 hours.
  2. Schedule your Tech Free Day for some time before the end of our #SummerofSelfCare2017
  3. Take a Tech Free half day, or even just a couple of hours.

Spend a little time journaling during your tech free experience. Write down how it feels.  Whether this is something you want to do again. Whether you want your entire family to participate or you just want to go tech free alone. What would you like to experience tech free? Do you want to do this every week, month, or just when you really need it? Or do you never want to do this again. Could this be a regular self care practice for you?

If you’ve had to schedule a future Tech Free Day, what do you want to put in place to honor it? If you work at a job where you are on-call, can you switch with someone else? Set up a stronger boundary with colleagues?

You decide whether you feel comfortable leaving your phone somewhere you absolutely can’t access it. See how taking a walk or going somewhere without your phone feels to you.

Now, if you’re a caregiver, that may not be an option. But you can put it on silent and put it in your pocket, so you’ll get the vibration notice if need be but otherwise ignore. I would also encourage you to find someone you trust to provide respite care for you that will not text or call you unless absolutely necessary.

Will your family or friends forget sometimes and text you by mistake? Yes. Just assess if it’s an emergency, remind them gently that you are unplugged and carry on.

Can you combine a Tech Free Day in the future with a day trip, a weekend away or even an entire vacation? We took a Tech Free weekend to a local tourist destination once and it was lovely.  I’ve also used Tech Free Day as a reward after a huge project or event. What about a Tech Free Day plus a massage?

In the summer, Tech Free Days can be especially wonderful if you spend time swimming, hiking, biking or reading. (See Summer of Self Care Day 7 which can be replicated any day you choose.)

Now, in the spirit of walking my talk, I am on a Tech Free Day today as well. This is possible for me because some technologies feature scheduling options. I am enjoying being unplugged.

Enjoy the silence that happens when time feels like it stands still.