One of the first lessons I learned when I began my coach training program was about tolerations – how we carry around this list of things that we need to attend to. And maybe we see evidence of these tolerations when we walk past, for instance, a wall that needs repainting, drive with a crack in our car windshield or receive a card from a friend or relative we haven’t seen or talked to in a while.
These tolerations subconsciously and consciously drain our energy, make us feel tense and sometimes even engage us in a conversation of self-blame and frustration. “Why can’t I just take the time to paint that floor?” Or “I will get to that soon or I will scream!!!” They block us from feeling good about what we have or bringing in new opportunities. If we have too much physical and mental clutter, we don’t have room to love ourselves and love the space we are in.
Don’t scream. But for today, start a list of tolerations. The first time I did this, there were over 100. I feel no shame in that. And I started busting them, one by one. And I learned not only to love the space I was in more, I felt better about myself and my ability to handle things. Removing tolerations increased my self-care, which also increased my self-love.
Now when the time comes, you can bust them in a few ways.
You can do it and cross it off (or schedule it in a way that commits you to a time frame).
You can pay someone else to do it
You can say, “I’m never going to do this” and give it away, throw it away, or begin accept it for what it is. Try to stop letting it bother you in whatever way you can make that happen.
Again, today, the goal is just to start a list. And if you’re feeling Feisty, you can bust a toleration and cross it off your list today. But don’t overwhelm yourself. And as you’re making the list, don’t freak out. Breathe and say – “Everything happens in the right time and for the right reason.”
Once they start coming off your list and they go away from your mind and sight, you’ll see your energy returning.
Now I am off to make my appointments with my Ophthalmologist and my Dentist.
(Need extra help? Find an accountability buddy who will hold you accountable to the time frame. Or if there’s more to this, ask me for a free exploratory coaching session and we will uncover what’s getting in the way.)