Category Archives: Self care

Summer of Self Care – Day 25

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The Power of Your Words  

“It just seems impossible.” I said to my daughter recently when talking about the setbacks we’re experiencing as we navigate this DIY home improvement project. “You can do it!” she replied. “Don’t say it’s impossible!”

She’s right and I know she’s right because she learned that words have power from a few very smart people.

One of them is – Me.

I do believe that the words we hear often are the words we believe or that keep rattling around in our brain long enough that we take them in.

Years ago, I learned about an experiment involving words and water while watching a movie called What The Bleep Do We Know? I had already been studying a lot about the effect of my words on my feelings and beliefs. The work of Dr. Masaru Emoto boggled my mind. Here’s a summary of his findings when he combined water and words.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masaru_Emoto

Whether you believe in his experiment or believe the critics that say it’s ridiculous really doesn’t matter. For me, after learning about this experiment, I decided on one small way to incorporate it into my own life. And I still have a water bottle with the words “infinite gratitude” and “infinite love” written on the side. Even if those words don’t change the water, they remind me to change my thoughts and words every time I take a sip.

I also began long ago to think about the words that come into my brain and/or out of my mouth. Sounds simple, right? It’s simple, but not always easy. A lot of words come into my awareness every day. I hear them spoken by others as well on the television or in conversations online and in real life. So no, I can’t always hear, think or say loving, wonderful and kind things to and about myself or to and about others. It’s a constant process for me. And it’s harder when my stress level is high. But I still believe in the importance of choosing my thoughts and words carefully and I have experienced many times when words influenced my mood, my behaviors and my experiences with others. And I listen to my daughter and others when they remind me that my words aren’t kind or affirming – I appreciate the reminders very much. I try to remind others gently as well.

Words matter. Sometimes we speak to or about ourselves in ways that we would never speak to others.

Think about this Meme for just a second.

Be Beautiful

 

Today’s self care prompt is to create affirming words or thoughts that are kind and loving – that maybe you can repeat today and every day.

One of my favorite calming affirmations is from Louise Hay.

“All is well. Everything is working for my highest good. Out of this situation only good will come. And I am safe.” It’s written on a dry-erase board in my office. I use it during my morning yoga practice so I will begin my day saying and thinking those thoughts.

Take a few moments to think about these questions:

What words matter to you today?

What words would move you forward to where you want to be?

What words make you feel and look beautiful?

What words would make you feel loved and cared for?

What loving words do you say often to others that you could be saying to yourself?

Summer of Self Care – Day 24

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Random Act of Kindness (RAK)

Have you ever been the recipient of someone else’s kindness and been immediately uplifted? How about being the one delivering the RAK to someone else?

Kindness is something we all appreciate and sometimes we crave ways in which we can get out of our own heads and do something nice for others.

The act of delivering a kindness to someone spontaneously or anonymously – especially when we don’t know who will receive it – can be amazing.

Years ago, I participated in the Book Crossing project  where you leave a book for someone and it’s tracked via journals from around the world. Pretty complex to set up, but very fun.

My neighbor had business cards made up that say YOU MATTER. She gives them out randomly to people she thinks need them in that moment. It’s one of the things I keep in my desk and every time I see it, I think of her and the joy she brings through her messages to others.

You can leave a book, a note, a flower, a gift card for a cup of coffee or whatever suits your fancy. I also love handwritten cards left in places where someone will be sure to find them. Or pop something lovely in the mail to someone who is least expecting a RAK.

Random Acts of Kindness bless the giver as well as the receiver. It makes you feel happy, which releases endorphins and promotes self care for both of you.

Today’s prompt is to engage in a small Random Act of Kindness. Comment and let me know what your RAK turned out to be!

Summer of Self Care – Day 23

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Comfort Bag

My family sometimes laughs at me because I put together a bag of things whenever I am leaving home for the day, weekend or longer. I often over pack and take more things than I really need. When arriving to spend the day with my granddaughters, my son often teases me and asks, “how many bags did you bring today?” I often have a lunch bag, a work bag and a bag of things I wanted to have with me – a bag I call My Comfort Bag.

Sometimes my Comfort Bag includes a book, a tablet, some snacks, a coloring book or activity to do with the girls, essential oils, an ipod and a magazine. Yes, that’s more than I need for the day, but it brings me comfort to have it all with me. And I’m never sure what I will want to reach for first.

Once I recommended a Comfort Bag to a friend who was headed to a funeral. She was obviously experiencing sadness over the loss of the family member, but she was also feeling stressed at the thought of being with family she hadn’t seen and didn’t always feel comfortable around.

We came up with a list of items to include in her Comfort Bag – a journal, emails of friends who would support her, healthy snacks, a picture with her and her loved one in happier times, lavender and a soft blanket for the plane and the hotel room.

If you’re a caregiver or travel often, you may want to keep a Comfort Bag packed and always ready. If you’re stressed about something, you may want your Comfort Bag with you daily.

Today, maybe spend a few moments thinking about what you would include in your Comfort Bag and then start pulling those together or duplicating them if they are things you use every day.

The more prepared you are for self care, the more you will benefit from your effort.

Summer of Self Care – Day 22

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Accountability Day

 

We all have that unfinished project that needles at our thoughts whenever we think about it. Or that cluttered closet or bookcase we want to purge. These things that we have discussed in previous posts about tolerations or decluttering – maybe you couldn’t get to them yet and you need to schedule…

Accountability Day!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I used to host these monthly with a friend of mine who is an organizer, and it’s something I may re-start. But for today, let’s create a plan for you to have an Accountability Day right now when you need it, without any help from us. You Can Do It!

Start by identifying the project or area that needs focus. Then think about what you need to tackle it; tools, containers, supplies, chocolate. Decide how much time you have to work on this today and schedule a start time.

Then set the timer for an hour and get to work.

At the end of the hour, take a SHORT break (5 minutes or so) and check in with how it’s going and if you need anything else before you begin again. If no, start back up. If you need extra supplies, go and get them or send someone else after them. Then start back up.

You may need several accountability days to complete your project, so schedule those over the next four weeks or so.

If you need extra accountability besides the timer, find an accountability buddy and check in with him or her at the end of each hour. (Add another five or ten minutes for you to check in with each other). Encourage, support and remind each other to stick with it and get back in the game.

Getting those projects off your to-do list is going to make you feel so good! Creating an Accountability Day creates a mindful container for you to commit and complete.

Now off you go!!

Summer of Self Care – Day 21

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Aesthetic Pleasures

When was the last time you went to a museum? Or bought fresh flowers for your office or bedroom?

Today, we’re going to stimulate the senses by incorporating aesthetic pleasures. You can pick one of the easier prompts from the list and schedule another for the weekend. Ready?

  • Make something using a craft technique that interests you. Don’t know how to make what you’re longing to make? Big box craft stores or online stores often have small kits to help you get started. Check out Crafternoon by Hazel and Ruby.
  • Buy fresh flowers from a local florist (or even a grocery store, though I highly recommend the florist.)
  • Run into the library and check out an art book or a book about an artist’s life.
  • Buy a magazine about something that interests you – woodworking, quilting, cooking – and decide what you will do next.
  • Go to a museum or art gallery.
  • Catch a local performance of a play or musical. If there isn’t a performance scheduled today, buy tickets for the next one that works for your schedule. In a pinch, see if you can find one streaming or for rent on demand. One of my recent favorite movies is LaLa Land. (Great music – visually stimulating!!!)
  • Go on a photography treasure walk – you can use just your iphone. Spend as much time as you want and look for interesting subjects to take photos of. If you’re really in the mood, compile them all afterward into a small scrapbook or mini book printed online or at a local store.
  • Go on a nature walk and spend time focused on plants, flowers or trees along the way.
  • Buy or borrow a book about a craft or project you’d like to begin.
  • Get a cheap set of watercolors and some watercolor paper and paint some abstract designs. (Or buy an adult coloring book with heavy pages and watercolor the designs. Here’s one of my favorites.)

If you enjoy today’s prompt, make it count by committing to a Day of Art and Beauty every month as a part of your self care plan.

Let me know in the comments what you chose – include a photo if you’re willing!

Summer of Self Care – Day 20

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Knowing Your Numbers:

What is your average blood pressure each day?

How much do you weigh? And in turn, what is your BMI?

What’s your resting heart rate?

How about your fasting or daily blood sugar?

When was the last time you had your cholesterol checked?

Most importantly, are you prescribed important medication or a recommended vitamin supplement that you are forgetting to take?

Self care is health care, plain and simple. For those who are caregiving or parenting, basic personal health care is often ignored when facing all the things that need to be done for someone else. In fact, having a yearly check-up often gets put off until an acute or chronic illness results.

Or we just get busy, distracted and forget to refill a prescription, incorporate exercise or check blood sugar.

Knowing these numbers are in the normal range is important. If they are out of range, it’s important to incorporate changes in diet, exercise and medication as prescribed.

Self care reduces stress, as we have seen. However, there are times when we feel stressed or anxious because something else is going on in the body.

Sometimes we put off that check-up because we are afraid of the outcome. If that’s the case, ask yourself if the fear of learning that your numbers are high is greater than the fear of not knowing and facing a substantial medical event? Physicals and preventative tests like mammograms, colonoscopies and even eye-care exams are examples of self-care at its best. It’s better to know or to catch something early than it is to live with a chronic disease for so long that resulting complications become life changing.

The ultimate acts of self care are often those that have to do with your overall health– today’s self care plan includes:

  • Run a check of the numbers you can check yourself.
  • Schedule any appointments you know you need to take care of.
  • Evaluate areas where changes in health care are needed.
  • Follow up on any appointments you’ve had that can give you insight into your numbers or your overall health.
  • Fill those prescriptions you know you need to fill. Or pick up those vitamins by the end of the day. And while you’re at the pharmacy, pick up a daily pill box.
  • Take your pills at the same time you brush your teeth, drink your morning coffee or tea, or eat breakfast. (If twice daily is required, take the second dose at dinner or when you brush your teeth in the evening.)

If you REALLY want to make changes, start a health care journal and track your numbers, goals and changes in your overall numbers. Not only will this help you stay on track, but it will provide valuable information to your medical professionals during your visits.

Too scared? Ask a friend or family member to go with you or hold you accountable in making your appointments. Ask for help. Again, don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you from taking action.

Summer of Self Care – Day 19

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Decluttering Your Mind

 

There is so much research on the benefits of meditation – in fact, there are over 3000 scientific studies that you can access here.

Meditation helps you focus and increases memory, brings you a feeling of calm and reduces blood pressure, enhances self-esteem and self-acceptance, and lessens anxiety.

So if meditation is so helpful, why aren’t all of us doing it every day?

I’m not sure. I struggle with a daily practice as well, especially when I need it the most! I think we just don’t put the things we need to be calm and centered on the same priority list as those things we need to make money, care for others or manage a household. We think it’s less important somehow to make self care a priority. Or maybe we picture a guru sitting on a meditation cushion for hours at a time and that doesn’t feel right for us. But even just five minute or less of daily meditation brings the same benefits as a much longer practice.

I have discovered I am more likely to meditate when I add it to the end of my morning yoga routine. It’s a natural fit for me and I just add about five minutes to the end of my practice. Some people feel that they are most successful when the meditate before ever getting out of bed.

What I do know is that it’s one of the best self care activities for decluttering our mind of intrusive thoughts which can generally make us feel out of sorts. But eliminating those thoughts doesn’t happen immediately. This definitely takes practice.

Let me tell you how easy this can be. You can set a reminder in your electronic calendar or on your paper planner to meditate at a certain time every day or every other day. You can just find a few quiet moments somewhere comfortable in your home and do it yourself. Or, if you want to take advantage of electronic apps, here are a few I have used:

Smiling Mind (which is also tied to a research project!)
Insight Timer
https://www.calm.com/meditate

Remember – using electronic versions of meditation tools may not mean your phone won’t ring or your text and email notifications will stop. You may have to mute or turn off a few things to make sure you have uninterrupted time.

Just want to spend a few moments taking some deep breaths? Try the My Calm Beat App, which lets you choose your breathing rate per minute and gives you a tone when it’s time to breathe in and another when it’s time to breathe out.

Commit to four days at first – what Martha Beck calls a Four Day Win. Once you’ve meditated for four days, congratulate yourself. Reward yourself with something small but significant. And then commit to another four days. And then another four and so on. After about seven of these small commitments, you’ll have an entire month of meditation practice!

After about 12 days, think about how you feel – do you notice any changes in your thought patterns, focus, memory or sense of calm?

Still having trouble? Get yourself an accountability buddy who will check in with you to make sure you completed your daily or four-day commitment.

I’m off to take five and make my morning meditation time a priority.

Summer of Self Care – Day 18

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Decluttering: One Pile at a Time

Disclaimer: This is NOT my clutter. It’s a free stock photo. But it could be…

Today’s self care for the summer prompt is brought to you by someone who sometimes worries that she is a hoarder. Yep! That’s me!

After we lost everything in Hurricane Katrina, I realized I had accumulated a lot of stuff. Seeing that pile of home debris out front of our home made me feel sad and discouraged. After living without all that stuff for awhile, I felt as though most of that stuff was essentially unnecessary as well.

And almost immediately, people started replenishing household items and my creative supplies. I appreciated that greatly. And felt like I “deserved” to pick up a few things myself. Then, gradually, I started accumulating the same number of bookcases full of books. Add the death of my mom and the acquisition of the things she had kept, I began to realize I had started to accumulate more than I have room to store.

I am confronted with the realization that I have a lot of stuff. And that said piles of stuff sometimes makes me a little less than calm.

At the beginning of the year, I made a commitment to make decluttering one of my daily habits. Because it’s so important to me, I decided I needed to spend a little or a lot of time every day going through my stuff and purging what isn’t serving me any more. Or yes, what isn’t bringing me joy. I do like the philosophy of that book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  I don’t take it all completely to heart, but there are parts of her process that I think are very effective.

Now you don’t have to declutter every day, but if there’s a space or a category of things you are feeling crowded by, today’s the day to take on the process of decluttering. And note that I said “process” – because it is not an event.

Decluttering takes consistent time and effort. It’s more of a self care activity than many people realize. Getting rid of clutter brings in space for things that will really serve you. However, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge your feelings when you are sad about the connection you feel to a particular item. Sometimes we hold on to things that are broken, just because they were given by or belonged to someone we love and miss. Give yourself permission to take a bit of time to let go of things that are emotionally connected.

Clutter lives in your home, your car, and your office.

How many emails show up in your inbox every day that you delete without reading? Are you subscribed to things that just clutter up your inbox?

Is your sock drawer full of “holy socks?”

Are you regularly wearing all your clothes or shoes in the closet?

For me, taking on the task of laying new flooring in about half of our home, I am hyper focused on clutter. As we empty a room, I am mindful of what I can do without so I don’t have to bring the same amount back in. Even though I recently decluttered my clothes and office supplies, I am finding that a second pass through results in the decision to trim off just a little bit more.

And it feels good to release it all! You can donate stuff to a local charity or host a yard sale – both feel great!

Decluttering is an act of self care and creates space for more self care. We feel differently when we carry a lighter load.

Starting now means you will have less stuff before the holidays. Imagine how that would change the way you decorate for and celebrate the holidays? And your clutter just might be someone else’s “Christmas in July.”

Summer of Self Care – Day 16

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A simple life-hack 

I’m not going to write a whole lot about this video, because I want you to just take it in. I could explain how this relates to self care, but I think by now, you get it and there’s no need.

This is by far one of the most powerful self care tools I have used and shared with my clients and friends.  It’s also one of my favorite Ted Talks, because Amy not only shares the research, but she shares her own vulnerability in a profound way.

Amy Cuddy Ted Talk

“Don’t fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it.”

This is everything.

Share and comment if you think so too.

Summer of Self Care – Day 15

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Doing the Wonder Woman Turn

Amazon. Hero. Icon. This book by Robert Greenberger is terrific.

This summer’s blockbuster movie proved that Wonder Woman still has a wide appeal. She represents strength, survival and a desire to find the truths necessary to save mankind.

What if Wonder Woman could fight off the bad mojo that creeps into your life?

Have you ever had one of those days when nothing seems to be going your way? It just seems like one thing after another piles on and makes you feel like whatever you do will turn to disaster.

One of my favorite self care techniques on days like this is to turn it around by doing something we call the Wonder Woman Turn.

 

 

Here’s how this works:

  • Begin by standing in the iconic Wonder Woman pose, with your hands on your hips, and take a few deep breaths.
  • When you’re ready, turn completely around, going counter clockwise in a circle three times.
  • Then shake your arms, your head and/or your whole body a little to get rid of the bad day energies.
  • Finally, click your wrists together in front of your face, in one of the other iconic moves Wonder Woman is known for.
  • Stand in the Wonder Woman pose again with your hands on your hips and take a few deep breaths.
  • Move on with your day and notice what happens.

(There’s another theory about the Wonder Woman pose, but we will save that for an upcoming post.)

There is power in routine activities that have been known to bring us comfort or return us to a place of calm. Maybe the power of this pose carries a legacy of strength and stamina.

Even if you’re having a great day today, try the Wonder Woman turn and see what happens.

PS – If Wonder Woman interests you, here are a few other books we’ve read or have in the TBR jar that are WonderFul.

The Secret History of Wonder Woman by Jill Lepore
Wonder Woman and Philosophy: The Amazonian Mystique by Jacob M. Held
Wonder Woman: The War Years 1941 – 1945 by Roy Thomas