Summer of Self Care – Day 21

Aesthetic Pleasures

When was the last time you went to a museum? Or bought fresh flowers for your office or bedroom?

Today, we’re going to stimulate the senses by incorporating aesthetic pleasures. You can pick one of the easier prompts from the list and schedule another for the weekend. Ready?

  • Make something using a craft technique that interests you. Don’t know how to make what you’re longing to make? Big box craft stores or online stores often have small kits to help you get started. Check out Crafternoon by Hazel and Ruby.
  • Buy fresh flowers from a local florist (or even a grocery store, though I highly recommend the florist.)
  • Run into the library and check out an art book or a book about an artist’s life.
  • Buy a magazine about something that interests you – woodworking, quilting, cooking – and decide what you will do next.
  • Go to a museum or art gallery.
  • Catch a local performance of a play or musical. If there isn’t a performance scheduled today, buy tickets for the next one that works for your schedule. In a pinch, see if you can find one streaming or for rent on demand. One of my recent favorite movies is LaLa Land. (Great music – visually stimulating!!!)
  • Go on a photography treasure walk – you can use just your iphone. Spend as much time as you want and look for interesting subjects to take photos of. If you’re really in the mood, compile them all afterward into a small scrapbook or mini book printed online or at a local store.
  • Go on a nature walk and spend time focused on plants, flowers or trees along the way.
  • Buy or borrow a book about a craft or project you’d like to begin.
  • Get a cheap set of watercolors and some watercolor paper and paint some abstract designs. (Or buy an adult coloring book with heavy pages and watercolor the designs. Here’s one of my favorites.)

If you enjoy today’s prompt, make it count by committing to a Day of Art and Beauty every month as a part of your self care plan.

Let me know in the comments what you chose – include a photo if you’re willing!

Summer of Self Care – Day 20

Knowing Your Numbers:

What is your average blood pressure each day?

How much do you weigh? And in turn, what is your BMI?

What’s your resting heart rate?

How about your fasting or daily blood sugar?

When was the last time you had your cholesterol checked?

Most importantly, are you prescribed important medication or a recommended vitamin supplement that you are forgetting to take?

Self care is health care, plain and simple. For those who are caregiving or parenting, basic personal health care is often ignored when facing all the things that need to be done for someone else. In fact, having a yearly check-up often gets put off until an acute or chronic illness results.

Or we just get busy, distracted and forget to refill a prescription, incorporate exercise or check blood sugar.

Knowing these numbers are in the normal range is important. If they are out of range, it’s important to incorporate changes in diet, exercise and medication as prescribed.

Self care reduces stress, as we have seen. However, there are times when we feel stressed or anxious because something else is going on in the body.

Sometimes we put off that check-up because we are afraid of the outcome. If that’s the case, ask yourself if the fear of learning that your numbers are high is greater than the fear of not knowing and facing a substantial medical event? Physicals and preventative tests like mammograms, colonoscopies and even eye-care exams are examples of self-care at its best. It’s better to know or to catch something early than it is to live with a chronic disease for so long that resulting complications become life changing.

The ultimate acts of self care are often those that have to do with your overall health– today’s self care plan includes:

  • Run a check of the numbers you can check yourself.
  • Schedule any appointments you know you need to take care of.
  • Evaluate areas where changes in health care are needed.
  • Follow up on any appointments you’ve had that can give you insight into your numbers or your overall health.
  • Fill those prescriptions you know you need to fill. Or pick up those vitamins by the end of the day. And while you’re at the pharmacy, pick up a daily pill box.
  • Take your pills at the same time you brush your teeth, drink your morning coffee or tea, or eat breakfast. (If twice daily is required, take the second dose at dinner or when you brush your teeth in the evening.)

If you REALLY want to make changes, start a health care journal and track your numbers, goals and changes in your overall numbers. Not only will this help you stay on track, but it will provide valuable information to your medical professionals during your visits.

Too scared? Ask a friend or family member to go with you or hold you accountable in making your appointments. Ask for help. Again, don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you from taking action.

Summer of Self Care – Day 19

Decluttering Your Mind

 

There is so much research on the benefits of meditation – in fact, there are over 3000 scientific studies that you can access here.

Meditation helps you focus and increases memory, brings you a feeling of calm and reduces blood pressure, enhances self-esteem and self-acceptance, and lessens anxiety.

So if meditation is so helpful, why aren’t all of us doing it every day?

I’m not sure. I struggle with a daily practice as well, especially when I need it the most! I think we just don’t put the things we need to be calm and centered on the same priority list as those things we need to make money, care for others or manage a household. We think it’s less important somehow to make self care a priority. Or maybe we picture a guru sitting on a meditation cushion for hours at a time and that doesn’t feel right for us. But even just five minute or less of daily meditation brings the same benefits as a much longer practice.

I have discovered I am more likely to meditate when I add it to the end of my morning yoga routine. It’s a natural fit for me and I just add about five minutes to the end of my practice. Some people feel that they are most successful when the meditate before ever getting out of bed.

What I do know is that it’s one of the best self care activities for decluttering our mind of intrusive thoughts which can generally make us feel out of sorts. But eliminating those thoughts doesn’t happen immediately. This definitely takes practice.

Let me tell you how easy this can be. You can set a reminder in your electronic calendar or on your paper planner to meditate at a certain time every day or every other day. You can just find a few quiet moments somewhere comfortable in your home and do it yourself. Or, if you want to take advantage of electronic apps, here are a few I have used:

Smiling Mind (which is also tied to a research project!)
Insight Timer
https://www.calm.com/meditate

Remember – using electronic versions of meditation tools may not mean your phone won’t ring or your text and email notifications will stop. You may have to mute or turn off a few things to make sure you have uninterrupted time.

Just want to spend a few moments taking some deep breaths? Try the My Calm Beat App, which lets you choose your breathing rate per minute and gives you a tone when it’s time to breathe in and another when it’s time to breathe out.

Commit to four days at first – what Martha Beck calls a Four Day Win. Once you’ve meditated for four days, congratulate yourself. Reward yourself with something small but significant. And then commit to another four days. And then another four and so on. After about seven of these small commitments, you’ll have an entire month of meditation practice!

After about 12 days, think about how you feel – do you notice any changes in your thought patterns, focus, memory or sense of calm?

Still having trouble? Get yourself an accountability buddy who will check in with you to make sure you completed your daily or four-day commitment.

I’m off to take five and make my morning meditation time a priority.

Summer of Self Care – Day 18

Decluttering: One Pile at a Time

Disclaimer: This is NOT my clutter. It’s a free stock photo. But it could be…

Today’s self care for the summer prompt is brought to you by someone who sometimes worries that she is a hoarder. Yep! That’s me!

After we lost everything in Hurricane Katrina, I realized I had accumulated a lot of stuff. Seeing that pile of home debris out front of our home made me feel sad and discouraged. After living without all that stuff for awhile, I felt as though most of that stuff was essentially unnecessary as well.

And almost immediately, people started replenishing household items and my creative supplies. I appreciated that greatly. And felt like I “deserved” to pick up a few things myself. Then, gradually, I started accumulating the same number of bookcases full of books. Add the death of my mom and the acquisition of the things she had kept, I began to realize I had started to accumulate more than I have room to store.

I am confronted with the realization that I have a lot of stuff. And that said piles of stuff sometimes makes me a little less than calm.

At the beginning of the year, I made a commitment to make decluttering one of my daily habits. Because it’s so important to me, I decided I needed to spend a little or a lot of time every day going through my stuff and purging what isn’t serving me any more. Or yes, what isn’t bringing me joy. I do like the philosophy of that book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  I don’t take it all completely to heart, but there are parts of her process that I think are very effective.

Now you don’t have to declutter every day, but if there’s a space or a category of things you are feeling crowded by, today’s the day to take on the process of decluttering. And note that I said “process” – because it is not an event.

Decluttering takes consistent time and effort. It’s more of a self care activity than many people realize. Getting rid of clutter brings in space for things that will really serve you. However, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge your feelings when you are sad about the connection you feel to a particular item. Sometimes we hold on to things that are broken, just because they were given by or belonged to someone we love and miss. Give yourself permission to take a bit of time to let go of things that are emotionally connected.

Clutter lives in your home, your car, and your office.

How many emails show up in your inbox every day that you delete without reading? Are you subscribed to things that just clutter up your inbox?

Is your sock drawer full of “holy socks?”

Are you regularly wearing all your clothes or shoes in the closet?

For me, taking on the task of laying new flooring in about half of our home, I am hyper focused on clutter. As we empty a room, I am mindful of what I can do without so I don’t have to bring the same amount back in. Even though I recently decluttered my clothes and office supplies, I am finding that a second pass through results in the decision to trim off just a little bit more.

And it feels good to release it all! You can donate stuff to a local charity or host a yard sale – both feel great!

Decluttering is an act of self care and creates space for more self care. We feel differently when we carry a lighter load.

Starting now means you will have less stuff before the holidays. Imagine how that would change the way you decorate for and celebrate the holidays? And your clutter just might be someone else’s “Christmas in July.”

Summer of Self Care – Day 17

Rhythm and Flow

What one thing can you do to create or get back into your natural rhythm or flow?

This is a self care question I ask a client when they are feeling overwhelmed.  The “What” they need to do is sometimes clear, but they are feeling like things are too out of control for them to be able to engage in normal or routine activities, leaving less time for self care. In other words, the “What” and “How” are interfering with the “Who.”

Overwhelm often happens when we are out of our normal rhythmic flow. This can happen when we have too much on our plate, when caregiving begins or ends, or when we get sick. So we find ourselves needing two extra days that we lost somehow and feel like all is falling apart.

Or maybe you’ve felt as though you haven’t had a flow and process for awhile now. New moms sometimes feel this way for 15 years. J

Self care often changes in the summer because days are longer or children are out of school. Work responsibilities may shift because colleagues are taking vacations or relocating.

The first thing to do is to take some time to think about what might be missing and what might fill that gap.

  • What are you longing for right now?
  • What do you know you need right now?
  • What can you live with and what can you live without?
  • What kind of flow or routine do you want to create?

Next, think about things you might have done in the past that made you feel grounded or centered. How did you recover from a setback or shift in routine before? Maybe routine is too strict for you, but a type of work or life flow might help you feel more like yourself.

A recent conversation with a client revealed that she knows instinctively that what she needs is to be creative. In the past, she would take time to paint or draw once a week, but she had stopped when she began taking care of her father. Another friend revealed that she missed her regular bike rides that ceased when she had an ankle injury.

My client may not be able to immediately start painting again, but with a few questions, she realized she may be able to watch painting videos on her tablet while caring for dad. Or she can buy an adult coloring book and start there while waiting for him to come out of the doctor’s office.

My friend may not be able to ride a bike for a bit longer, but she can possibly stretch or do short chair yoga routines to keep her endorphins flowing and stay more connected to a moderately active lifestyle.

Our personal rhythms and flow are often affected by a change in seasons as well. When summer comes, days are longer and we might feel like we get more done. In winter, we may sleep more and feel less productive in general. But the start of a season can often throw us off for a bit until we adjust.

Only you know your seasonal and daily rhythms.

  • Do you stay up late and sleep in? Or are you an early riser who tackles projects first thing?
  • What is your morning, after school, after work, or evening flow and how does it serve you?
  • Do you want to do something more? How could this fit into your rhythm or routine?
  • What do you need to stay calm and implement more self care when routine is disrupted?

I challenge you starting now to check in with yourself now and then to consider your natural rhythms and routines, especially thinking about what your self care needs are in the moment. These check-ins will help you create and continually modify your self care. And we’ll talk soon in another post about how to cope when challenges or crises come up and you need to shift your self care plan completely.

Knowing yourself – your “Who” and what works for you is critical in developing and maintaining strong self care habits. Being flexible when rhythms and routines change is paramount as well.

Find your true self in your rhythm and flow.

 

Summer of Self Care – Day 16

A simple life-hack 

I’m not going to write a whole lot about this video, because I want you to just take it in. I could explain how this relates to self care, but I think by now, you get it and there’s no need.

This is by far one of the most powerful self care tools I have used and shared with my clients and friends.  It’s also one of my favorite Ted Talks, because Amy not only shares the research, but she shares her own vulnerability in a profound way.

Amy Cuddy Ted Talk

“Don’t fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it.”

This is everything.

Share and comment if you think so too.