Category Archives: Change Your Thoughts

Hello Again, Yoga!

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I used to practice yoga at home every morning. Almost every day began with a pot of coffee, followed by quiet time to journal, and then I was on the mat for a 20 minute yoga practice. I used to laugh and say that yoga kept me from killing people. In truth, it kept me more responsive to problems and situations, rather than being reactive. I loved yoga and I was proud of myself for keeping up a regular practice. For me, it was an impactful, yet easy piece of my self-care plan.

Then one rainy day in Jackson, Mississippi, I fell on the way into a meeting. I stepped into a small hole in the pavement that was obscured by the rain and twisted my ankle in just the right way so as to lose my balance and plop right onto the muddy ground. The result was a pretty awful deep ankle bone bruising that made walking difficult for awhile, much less getting into Downward Facing Dog or even a comfortable lotus position. It seemed like it took forever for my ankle to feel normal again. Months went by and I was off the mat. Then another two years would go by before I would return to a regular practice of yoga.

During that time, I would think about yoga a lot. I missed the benefits and felt like I was reactive, falling into negative thinking more quickly than its opposite. My self- talk was mean and unforgiving. “You REALLY need to make time for this if it’s so important to you! Why can’t you just take 20 minutes to get back onto that mat? Why can’t you do this regularly any more? What’s wrong with you???”

It took the cessation of a busy part-time job and the return to working full-time for myself to make my thoughts more positive and my self-care more of a priority. And it took a reflective and forgiving look at my time to incorporate that 20-minute practice back into my day. I’m not at every single day yet and I’m also not yelling at myself if I miss a Saturday morning because of a lengthy list of want or need-to-dos or a Sunday morning because I want to see my granddaughter’s dance competition.

When I get on the mat, I immediately relax and start to breathe. It’s like my mind and body say, “Hello again, Yoga! It’s good to be back!” And then later, I remember that feeling just before I go to bed and set my internal alarm accordingly so I have that extra 20 minutes. I’m much more calm and centered as I go about my day, talking to myself, writing or working with clients. Yes, I still have stressors and there are things I would like to see changed yesterday. Nothing is ever perfect. But it’s working – I’m back  to something that matters a lot to me.

Spring often brings a desire to clean house, to start something new and beautiful or to plant a new seed. I’ve thought about this a lot lately as I am moving into this Spring Clean Your Life work with myself and with others. Spring cleaning isn’t just clearing cobwebs from the corners of your living room or laundering your curtains. It’s a fresh, new perspective, practice or commitment. It’s a cleansing of negative self talk – talk that wouldn’t come out of your mouth to your best friend, but often comes into your head when thinking about your own behaviors or what you consider to be failures. It’s a conscious practice of screening pieces of your life, practices of your day and desires of your soul to see if they all fit with what you want out of life and work.

Spring is the time to take a look at all aspects of your work, your home, and your thoughts. New beginnings happen now, as we prepare for flowers to bloom and gentle breezes to blow again. It’s a time when we notice the beauty of our environment and we celebrate rebirth and resurrection.

So let me ask you today – what are you ready to say Hello to?

Yoga with my Dog.

Agnes waits patiently while I get on the mat.

Laurie Johnson helps small businesses become large businesses, and small nonprofits to become more successful nonprofits. She does this by providing consulting services, training, and individual and group coaching sessions. When work and life aren’t in balance, Laurie helps you get it together and create systems and practices that fulfill all aspects of your life.

A free “Spring Clean Your Life” workshop call is being offered Wednesday, March 2nd at 7pm Central Standard time (8pm EST). Email Laurie to register or go to www.4elementscoaching.com/contact-us to sign up.

My wish for you in 2012

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This is one of my favorite times of the year.  A chance for me to purge the old and welcome new possibilities exists in this somewhat magical gap between one calendar year and the next.  We incorporate many rituals in my household, including those that are familiar like eating black-eyed peas and not putting up new calendars until after midnight. We also cleanse old energy from our home by lighting a smudge stick of sage and cedar and passing it through each room of the house. We put dimes under our threshold for prosperity and we open the windows in the East just before midnight to allow fresh, creative air to pass through our home, ensuring a successful and adventurous year. If our pantry is full at midnight, we believe we won’t hunger in the near year so grocery shopping is essential if our stores are low.

As 2011 comes to a close and 2012 begins, millions of us will take at least a few moments at some point or another to reflect on our accomplishments, our challenges and our hopes for the year ahead. Resolutions and intentions abound in the minds of those who strive to change old habits or create new ones. Fears about whether those resolutions will stick surface in our thoughts as we silently wonder if this will be the year we achieve our ideal weight or pay off debt. Self deprecating thoughts sneak in unbidden, yet familiar. Whether this review is something you enjoy or dread depends largely on the process and your state of mind going into the review.

This year, I used a process created by Rosetta Thurman, the Happy Black Woman. Her Review/Preview questions were similar to the ones I usually use and allowed me to feel complete about letting go of the old and embracing the new.  I value her work and hope you’ll take a look at her blog here.

I’m not a huge fan of resolutions. I do think an intentional practice of considering what’s working and what isn’t is important. Change isn’t always easy to maintain so don’t be hard on yourself.

I do know one thing for sure – if you do what you’ve been doing, you’ll get the same results. If you’re really happy where you are, you’ll be all set and probably don’t have need for a long list of resolutions.  If you want something better in your life, change something – even something small. Often, the mere fact that you take one baby step causes a momentum that will surprise you.

In my opinion, another really important piece about this process is the ability to see that there is possibility. I’d like to share a quote that closes one of my favorite novels – Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. The characters have both been on an incredible adventure that altered the course of their lives significantly. They overcame huge obstacles and found that they were completely in love and felt incredible hope for their future together. The author closes the book with this one very simple and yet powerful thought expressed by the narrator of their story.

“And the world was all around us, new with possibility.”

May the possibilities of 2012 be more than you could ever have imagined for yourself.

I’m No Fool

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from stagevu.com

Jiminy Cricket I\’m No Fool

It’s hard for me to believe that I turned fifty years old a few weeks ago. I didn’t come at this birthday kicking and screaming, although my forty-eight year old self definitely thought I would. Toward the beginning of the year, I felt a bit squeamish about the whole idea. But as September neared, I settled into an acceptance combined with a curiosity about how the next half of my life will play out.

You see, I am going to live to be 103 so I’ve got a lot of living left to do! As a child, one of my favorite short films became a sort of mantra to live a long and healthy life. My mentor, Jiminy Cricket, showed me ‘How to Have Fun Safely’ and live to be 103. (You can see Jiminy in this cartoon short by clicking here or on the link just under his picture.) The lessons I learned from Jiminy as a child felt very different than they do today. I have definitely refined these principles! But here are a few kernels of Jiminy’s wisdom and a look at how I have incorporated this advice today.

“You should always do things the right way.” As a child, I really embraced the rules. Like most, I was a very concrete thinker and Jiminy’s advice made perfect sense. “Only a fool does things the wrong way!” he admonished. These days, I still take this to heart, but the “right way” is the way that works for me and intuitively feels aligned with my inner wisdom. Sometimes I have to ask myself what to do or how to get somewhere several times before I’m satisfied that it’s really right for me. But in this first fifty years, I’ve learned that going against my grain means a longer path to what works and a lot more discomfort than I’d like along the way. I have to trust that I already know the right way and just do it.

Giving it a Twirl

“You should always make time for fun.” Whenever I feel overwhelmed or cross, I can usually step back and see where I let go of fun. I’m one of those people who need a lot of laughter and lightness in my life. When I get my fun back, I’m back in balance.

“You can relax your body, but your mind should always stay alert.” Jiminy meant this as a way of ensuring that his audience wouldn’t fall through ice or play in a dangerous construction site. But for me, this adage has taken on a whole new meaning – one that sometimes makes me a little crazy! My brain almost never shuts down anymore – in fact, it really only rests when I pause to meditate, and even then I can sometimes wander around a conundrum of intrusive thoughts. I have had to learn to control those thoughts and stop ruminating on those that don’t serve me well. It’s simple but not easy! These days, I try to keep my mind alert with positive thinking rather than relenting to the anxiety that used to plague me.

“Never overload a boat.” My life choices so far have taught me a valuable lesson about adding too much to my life. There was a time that I volunteered more hours than most people work in a typical week! I tried to be all for all who needed me and put myself last on the list every time. That is until I learned about the importance of self care and saying no. My wiser, fifty-year old self knows that I can’t cram too much into one day without feeling like I’ve failed, so I have simply stopped overloading myself. Years ago, white space in my calendar might have made me feel like I was unpopular or unsuccessful. Now, lots of white space means I’m leaving a lot of room to work more efficiently with less stress. I take people with me on the boat sometimes, but they can’t all come at once and they have to be able to leave the boat when I say it’s time.

“He climbs up on a wobbly peak and what happens is no joke.” One of the greatest gifts I received when I entered into coach training was the knowledge I gained around the development of a personal foundation. It is also one of the most popular reasons my clients hire me – they want to regain control and build a solid foundation on which to create a successful life and career. We all realize the dangers of moving ahead without shoring up, yet sometimes we’ve had to do it anyway. Personal foundation work includes looking at what you value, what keeps you in your integrity, how to remove those things you are tolerating and, maybe most critical, how to set strong and consistent boundaries with yourself and with others. Most of my clients worry more about their personal foundation than the numbers on their balance sheets. They feel like their work time and the time spent living is out of balance. And conversely, when attention is paid here, success begins to fall more easily and naturally into place.

So it turns out this cartoon short from my childhood has served me well into the 20th anniversary of my 30th birthday. Thanks to Jiminy, I’m going to live a happy life while I’m moving ahead toward 103. Maybe I’ll see you there. I’ll be the one wearing a top hat and tails!

A momentary choice to change

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“Everyday, God gives us the sun – and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything.” ~ Paulo Coelho                

Don't let the sun go down on your grievances by kevindooley

from Kevin Dooley


I read a lot of books and blogs and often work with clients on deliberately creating what they want using spiritual laws like The Law of Attraction.  It’s still a hot topic these days and many of my clients come to me because they have a big dream they want to turn into reality. Knowing I practice many of these principles myself, they ask me to check their sentences, help them dissolve their limiting beliefs and find peace in the present moment. This work requires an open mind and a willingness to continually pivot your thoughts and beliefs -there’s a learning curve for sure.

One of the tenets of this belief system is that what you really focus on and desire for your life has already come about in your future. You just can’t see it and experience it quite yet. So the idea here is that you act “as if” and remember that it has already happened, which creates a sort of certainty that alleviates any current stress, desperation or worry about whether or not this is possible for you. Sounds a bit complex but I’ve been on the receiving end of some pretty amazing stuff as a result so I’m a believer and a fan.

 But when things unexpectedly go wrong, or even just a little rougher than you’d expected, it’s easy to fall back into old patterns of behavior like crying, biting your fingernails, pacing…you get the idea.  Today was one of those days where an ominous phone message led to a stressful phone call and suddenly I found myself in the middle of an impromptu, self-inflicted manicure. And it was starting to go downhill from there. I felt the need to change everything, stop the freight train to the abyss and get control again.  So, I tried something new – I conjured up my future self and had a little chat with her.

 “Hi future Laurie. I really need to ask you if I’m going to be able to convince this woman to waive these penalty fees for this nonprofit so we can go forward and save the world one woman at a time again. I don’t want to be anxious about this for days on end. I just want to know I’ll do this right and find a fair and equitable solution. “

 “I can see you’re worried,” future Laurie says after noticing the ragged edges of my nails. “I seem to recall a conversation with the woman from the tax office. Did you call her yet?”

“No, I wanted to check with you first and see how you thought I should handle it. I could play dumb but that’s not really our style, is it? I’m thinking honesty. Understand her position. Leverage what we have going for us now.” 

“ Hmmm. Yes. I remember,” future Laurie begins to smile. “ I explained what happened – a set of unbelievable circumstances, wasnt it? She wasn’t buying it but I remained calm, courageous yet knowledgeable and capable. She eventually caved and waived the fees. The world righted itself again pretty quickly. Feel better?”

“Much.” My breathing returns to normal and I experience an inner shift to calm. “Thank you so much.”

“Don’t mention it. I understand the appeal of staying present – it served me well a lot of the time. But every now and then, you have to really see a thing working before you can work it out in the moment.”

Anxiety and worry are generally a product of ruminating in the past or living in the future, not staying in the present where you have control. But every now and then, a trip to your successful future might be just what you need to create a successful now. Just like you can reclaim your inner child when you want to have a little fun or need to heal a broken piece, you can check in with and leverage your future, imagining how you could succeed in the present situation.

 And maybe it will save you from diving in and munching on too much chocolate or ripping the nails down to the beds.

 Let me know if you’ve tried this with success or if you think it’s too strange for words. Be nice – I don’t want to have to go back and buy little Laurie a banana split with double hot fudge…or do I?