Tag Archives: peace

Remember Your Worth

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As you know if you’re a regular reader of this blog, I practice morning pages each day. Three pages of long-hand journaling in a notebook, pouring out ideas, fears, criticisms, to-dos and just a general brain dump on many days.

Each day though, I purposefully end the morning pages with two things – an intention for the day and a list of things I am grateful for. Sometimes the intention is created out of necessity. I may be working on a project I’ve been putting off, so my intention is Diligence. Or, I am anxious about something so my intention becomes Peace. I design intentions to fit what I need in that moment or that day.

But sometimes, I am delighted to summon my intention from deep within. I have nothing top of mind and I allow my authentic self to create the intention based on that intuitive knowing of exactly what I need.

Today, my intention was just that. It came to me before I even asked or considered what it might be. And it was

REMEMBER YOUR WORTH 

When it came to my mind, I realized it was exactly what I need today. Maybe for a few days, as a matter of fact.

I’ve been preparing to facilitate a training I’ve never done before. At the same time, I am struggling with a project that isn’t coming together as easily as I’d hoped and believed it would. My doubts about myself cloud my mind and thoughts that aren’t particularly kind swirl in and out of my consciousness. I feel inner turmoil, criticism, anxiety, sadness and above all, self-doubt.

Someone very close to me has reminded me frequently that I am a great trainer. That I am very powerful when I am ‘in my element.’ And I do get energy from training and facilitating a growth mindset for clients. In other words, she’s been telling me to Remember My Worth.

And now, my essential self is telling me too.

It’s time to pay attention and remember all those times I HAVE succeeded in facilitating a training I’ve never done before. And I HAVE pulled off a project at the last minute – time and time again. I have all the tools and resources I need to be successful. I have a strong WHY for all of the things I am currently doing – and the why is bigger than me. It touches so many others and creates a ripple effect as it all launches and flows into the lives of others, many lives that are unknown to me. And that makes me very happy.

So what comes up for you when you see those words

What is it about you that is worth more than you realize? What do others tell you that you often can’t integrate into your own belief and possibility?

Reach back today and think about the times in your life that you have succeeded time and time again at something. Especially if that something still causes you to doubt yourself or feel anxious about what you are longing to do.

When you feel the weight of something, remember your worth.

When you question whether you can do something, remember your worth.

When you feel hopeless, remember your worth.

It’s there. It runs in your subconscious.

You just have to call it and let it stay, like a faithful friend.

Summer of Self Care Day One

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I’ve said before that Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages (one of her tools from The Artist’s Way) have been so beneficial to me. The other day, while journaling, the idea of creating  a Summer of Self Care came to me out of the blue and I mentioned it on Facebook to see if it was something that resonates with my followers. Apparently, it does. So here we are! Day 1 of the Summer of Self Care! (Use #summerofselfcare2017 in sharing posts on social media, if you would please!)

I thought we’d start with defining self care and grounding this 30 days in something that is meaningful.

Self care is any act you incorporate in your moment or day or month or life that brings you joy, peace, well-being, healthy boundaries, a healthy body, a healthy sense of being – it’s anything you do for yourself, not for others or to make yourself better for someone else.

Acts of self care don’t have to be huge, but they can be life changing. For example, you may set a boundary with someone that creates a huge sense of peace in your life. You may read a book that changes your perspective on something. Or you may start a morning routine that makes you feel much more at peace with your day.

Whatever you choose to do, you don’t have to spend tons of time on self care, though you can do so if you’d like. Self care doesn’t have to be expensive, though I’m not judging if you decide to purchase a cruise because it falls under the “brings you joy” category. And self care doesn’t mean you’re being selfish or not caring for or about others. In fact, caregivers need an EXTRA measure of self care every single day.

When I hired my very first coach, I learned the value of self care very quickly. What it does for me is that it keeps me grounded in all aspects of my self – mind, body and spirit. And when I am grounded, I respond, rather than react. Self care practices keep me operating from a place of fullness rather than scarcity. When I feel cranky, angry, anxious, fearful or stressed to the max, I know it’s time to add some self care back into my daily routine.

So for your first prompt in the Summer of Self Care…..(drum roll…….here we go……)

Take out a piece of paper and a pen (or you might want to find a journal since you may be writing a lot this month).

Write down why you think you need to increase your daily self care habit.

Why do you think self care is important to you right now?

How do you hope to feel at the end of this month?

What do you want that you don’t have now?

And really take a moment to commit to this month of self care. Write down affirmations like, “I promise to take care of myself in some small way, every day, for AT LEAST the next 30 days.” “I am ALL IN for myself this month.” Whatever you need to say. If it’s a little prayer, write that down. If it’s a quote, write that down too. Whatever comes to your mind, journal it out.

Now breathe in. Breathe out. And acknowledge that you have just taken the first step in the care of the most important person you could take care of – YOU!!!

Because…

 

Today, you are you.

Self Care and Showers

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I had a conversation with someone the other day about self care and it went something like this:

“Self care for me sometimes just means I get to take a shower. Or I show up only 20 minutes late to something instead of 45.”

I get it. People sometimes think I don’t get it because I frequently talk about my daily journaling ritual or morning yoga practice. While I do journal every day with very few exceptions, (more about that in tbis post) I don’t always get on the mat in the mornings. In fact, many mornings go by without any type of practice at all. And yes, there are days when taking a shower seems like a luxury given what I have going on. Or I fall onto the couch at 8pm, realizing I put off filling out a questionnaire before an early morning doctor’s appointment the following day. These days feel chaotic. Or I beat myself up for procrastinating. I can REALLY beat myself up for procrastinating. I sense that I am ashamed of my inability to get things done in a timely or chaos free manner.

I recommend that clients set aside an appointment time for self care just like the would for any other meeting. And honor it just like it was an appointment with a client, boss or colleague. But realistically, I know that’s not always possible. Especially during really busy seasons like the one we have just entered.

Self care isn’t always fresh flowers, massages, binge-watching Netflix time or a weekend getaway.

Self care isn’t always perfect. It is always whatever you need in the moment to get by, to prevent something or to listen to your body when it’s crying out to eat, drink a cup of hot tea or even just hydrate with plain water.

Self care can be just listening to a playlist while you work or drive to that appointment you’re running late for so your mood is lifted.

Self care can be prioritizing your list and taking things off of that list that just aren’t going to happen. And forgiving yourself immediately because it’s just going to have to be that way right now.

Self care is sometimes just the simple act of saying to your overwhelmed self, “I’m sorry it’s so chaotic right now. I promise as soon as I can breathe, I will go for a walk or take in a movie.” And then honor that promise.

Self care can be just taking 45 minutes to get your flu shot because if you don’t, you may get the flu and then have even LESS time on that to-do list as you recover. (And not freaking out if you thought it would only take 10. )

Self care just looks like taking a few breaths. Maybe setting a reminder to take a few breaths three times a day.

Or standing in the rain or raising your face to the sun – for just 5 minutes.

Don’t beat yourself up over what self care looks like. Just make it look like whatever you can manage today.  Even if that’s just taking a shower.

Beauty comes from standing in the rain.

 

 

Fill yourself up before the orange, beeping light comes on.

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The best metaphors come out of coaching conversations. This is something I experience a LOT and it never ceases to amaze me.

So a couple of days ago, I was coaching someone on personal capacity issues, otherwise known as “how many to-dos are too many to-dos for one work day for me right now the way I am currently feeling?” I phrase it this way because the nebulous WORK LIFE BALANCE (said in a loud, echoey voice to add drama and proper reverence) changes every single day. You could get sick. Daylight Savings Time kicks in. Stuff happens. That’s why is shouldn’t be called balance at all. But that’s another subject to keep diving into another day.

The point I’m getting at today is how do you know how much is too much and how much is just enough, especially if you are transitioning into something new, experiencing a health issue, or just plain saying yes too many times? If personal capacity shifts sometimes just because it’s bound to shift?

My client was describing how she just bought a new car and her gauge tells her how many miles she should expect to be able to drive before she runs out of gas.  She suddenly cries, “I wish there was a gauge for my personal energy that would measure how many clients I can serve before I’m just worn out and unable to give anything else.”

Wouldn’t that make life so much easier? A way of measuring how many more tasks or clients or reports we can complete before we are energetically and physically spent? It would make planning our day, our month and our YEAR so much easier! We wouldn’t overschedule or take on more volunteer activities than we can handle. We would only say yes to what we absolutely know we can accomplish. We would delegate the rest or just easily say, “No. I’ll be on empty if I take that on. You’ll have to find someone else. Or wait till I am able to fill up again. I’ll get back to you next week.”

My personal awareness around this issue is that I actually TURN OFF the feature that tells me how many miles I have till empty in favor of the feature that tells me how many miles per gallon I am achieving. I ignore capacity in favor of a performance measurement.  I’m that girl that thinks an A- just isn’t good enough. The word productivity comes up in my daily self talk. A LOT.

But wait – it gets better. In my car, I have this gas gauge constantly in view that shows me in bars how much gas I currently have.  I can’t turn this one off. So 10 bars is full and 1 bar is almost empty, right? So I get in the car a lot, only to discover I have like 2 bars. My brain registers that I have 2 bars till empty and I make a mental note, “You must get gas soon.” But inevitably, I am driving along at some point hours or days later and I hear the familiar BEEP and I see the final bar is glowing orange. This means, “GET GAS NOW!!!” It’s almost gone! All of it! The anxious search begins for gas and I tell myself I won’t be able to get the most reasonable price now because I don’t have the option of shopping around. I’ve got to gas up now. Even though I took the time earlier to register that I was almost on empty, I pushed myself because I thought I had more time. I thought I’d get gas when it was the right place and the right price. I put off taking care of the inevitable.

Are you running on 3 bars? 7 bars? Or is your orange, beeping light already on? 

 

So not only do we face these capacity issues in life and in work all the time, we often ignore the signs and signals that we are running toward empty. We think we can do more, should do more, MUST do more. “I’ve pushed this before and survived. I’ll just carry on.”

We know that things like meditating for a few moments or taking a walk in the middle of the day would help our brains become more functional or help us think more creatively. But we end up working through lunch because there’s a deadline or we have to develop this one new thing before the day is through. Or maybe someone calls and says, “Hey can you take on this _______?” And we say, “Sure!” Not really stopping to consider how many bars we have till the orange light pops on and the anxiety begins. We run out of capacity because we push ourselves to the limit, more often than not.

So here’s a thought – what if you agreed to get gas as soon as you’re on 2 bars? Every time, no matter what? What if 2 bars was your personal orange, beeping light?

Or what if you just stopped to consider how you feel when you are metaphorically starting to run on empty? What are the signs for you?

For me, it looks like:

Anxiety
Rapid Heartbeat
Feeling of Overwhelm
Self talk phrases “Why do I always do this to myself? “Why do I always wait till the last minute? Why didn’t I say No!?!
Forgetfulness
Constant feeling of forgetfulness
Dread
Panic
Anger
Ache in the back of neck and shoulder area
Inability to focus or attend to things I normally do to relax
Distractionary tactics

There are probably others, but you get the picture, right? Sound all too familiar?

Filling up before you get to empty starts with recognizing what running on empty looks like. Deciding how many ______ = capacity starts with recognizing or remembering what too many looks like.  Your internal gauge is giving you a clear visual or emotional measurement – you just need to put it into view. Honor it.

It’s simple. Fill yourself up before the orange, beeping light comes on.

A Crumple and Cry Day

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Did you ever have one of those days that began with something going wrong? Let’s say it was a BIG bad thing.  Or maybe a medium bad thing and then maybe then something else happened and another thing happened and the next thing you know, you’re crying and you can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything?

Been there. Plenty of times.

I used to think it was my adult duty to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again. That’s what I was told. Some days.

But I also was told that crying happens. It sometimes happens when you least expect it and for no apparent reason. Nothing has to go wrong to make you feel like crying. Bad days happen. Negativity takes control. Crying ensues. And often, once it starts, it feels like it won’t stop any time soon.

And crying is cathartic. It can be necessary.

Instead of trying to bury the emotions under a pile of things to do or people to see, I decided years ago that I just needed to surrender, on those days, and have what I call a Crumple and Cry Day. It allows me to grieve over all the injustices that have piled up against me, or those I love and care about, big or small. I just need to surrender to what I cannot control.

No, I don’t cry all day. At least not constantly. I may cry for a bit, stop, cry again, get quiet, cry on the yoga mat, watch tv, cry…etc. I find though that they key to a successful Crumple and Cry Day is just to clear my calendar and settle in for the day and let it unfold as it is meant to do. (Yes, sick days are allowed. If you’re heartsick, take a sick day.

Sinking my feet in the sand, listening to the waves crash on the beach, mimics my internal swell of tears while bringing me to a place of peace.

I don’t have to stay at home and cry. In fact, I often don a pair of sunglasses and cry as I walk the beach, or sit on the front porch. Don’t try to push it down any more, just let it all bubble up and see what you learn from it. You may be surprised at how many little things you’ve been holding on to. Or it may just be one BIG thing. And if that BIG thing comes up on more than one Crumple and Cry Day, it’s a signal that your work isn’t finished.

Crumple and Cry Day doesn’t have to be a whole day. It’s just as long or short as you need it to be.

What happens at the end of a Crumple and Cry Day? I’m tired. I have no more tears left for the time being. And I have generally opened up a space for me to take the next step. Having released all the built up sadness or anger, I can stand in a moment where that container is empty and I am ready to fill up another container with something good. Something possible. Something fresh and new.

If you’re in an overall healthy state of mental wellbeing, crying is a very cleansing, healing and refreshing experience. You might want to keep a notebook nearby as you move out of the sadness and into the peace and calm that follows. It really is almost like decluttering your physical spaces – once you surrender the stuff you’ve been holding on to, you open your heart and mind to what you need in that moment. So listen and be ready to write it down so you won’t forget.

I know some people worry that if they surrender and start to cry, they will never stop. And if you have more Crumple and Cry Days than days filled with possibility, I’m going to suggest you reach out to someone for help. See if that container needs to be washed by something more therapeutic than you can offer yourself.

Let me know what you think. And if you have a way of cleansing and releasing your stuff, tell us about it in the comments.

 

 

Book Review – Five Good Minutes at Work

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Five Good Minutes at Work

Title: Five good Minutes At Work

Authors: Jeffrey Brantley, MD & Wendy Millstine

ISBN: 978-1-60671-240-5 (Note – this cover image  is from a different version than the one I am providing detail for here.)

Published 2007 MJF Books in arrangement with New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

(previous edition published in paperback.)

Rating: 

As promised, I am providing a review of this book. The authors have several Five Good Minutes books for you to check out if you’re interested.

I first became aware of their work when I received Five Good Minutes in the Morning as a gift one Christmas. Several years ago, I left a rather difficult team meeting, browsed in Barnes and Noble’s bargain section and found the work version. I definitely needed it.

The writers bill the book as “100 mindful practices to help you relieve stress and bring your best to work.” There’s a Foundation chapter, followed by the Practices, which helps to introduce you to the benefits of mindfulness, breathing, listening and being present. The rest of the short practices are divided into these sections:

  • Doing Your Work More Effectively
  • Reducing Stress at Work
  • Working More Intelligently and Compassionately With Others
  • Travel, Deadlines, Frustrations and Other Opportunities

As a coach, I really see the value in these practices and can say, first-hand, that I benefitted greatly from them as I struggled to stay engaged with a dysfunctional team for several months before leaving that position. Yes, there are a lot of practices that deal with working with others. But that isn’t the main focus here. Many of them help you deal with crisis, overwhelm, setting yourself up for a productive day and more.

The authors stress setting a daily intention, which, in my experience, is absolutely a habit that will bring you into more of an awareness of your purpose for the day and feeling as though you achieved it. There is a time during each piece for breath and affirmations like “Whoops! I’m human. I’m fallible. I make mistakes just like everyone else. I accept this inevitability.” You know I believe in positive affirmations, and I think getting in touch with this reality is a very positive thing. We set ourselves up for failure when we set ourselves up for perfection. A potential downside is that some of the affirmations or meditations can seem a bit repetitive. For some folks, this may be helpful as this makes it easy to practice and remember what to say each day. For others, it may be more redundant than you’d like.

I have a lot of daily meditation type books that I love. But sometimes, reading one every day is overwhelming too. This book isn’t 365 days worth of practices – just whenever I decide to pick it up will do. Personally, I generally pick it up when I’m NOT having five good minutes. But maybe that’s when I need it the most.

When it’s time to change your story

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A conversation with someone I’ve known for a long time reminded me of a challenge so many of us face.  We have a story we believe and continuously tell about ourselves, even if only in an internal dialogue. That story begins when we are born and what we are told, what we experience and what we want all comes together in a narrative we play subconsciously and often recite to others.

When I was a child, a woman who went to our church looked down at me one day and said, “Don’t worry sweetie, some day you’ll grow up to be a pretty girl.” Wow, right??! Basically, I heard, “You’re pretty ugly right now and hopefully you’ll grow up and be pretty.” What I internalized for YEARS was that I wasn’t pretty yet.

My friend relayed to me that her father said she wouldn’t ever amount to anything. She translated that to mean she would never be successful. It’s a limiting belief she lives with and probably thinks about often. When she searches her brain for memories, she finds experiences that reinforce her story that she will always be nothing much to talk about. Then she relays the story to me and probably to others.

A professor gave me a nugget of information once that changed my life. He said the thing is, our brain believes what we tell it to believe. If you tell yourself you are worthless, you’ll constantly feel worthless. If you keep repeating a successful story, you’ll begin to feel successful. Even if you had a bad experience in your life, you can stop feeding your brain with the same memory, dialogue or belief. You have the opportunity and all the skills you need to tell a new story.

So how do you tell a new and better story about yourself?  You have to create a new story or belief about yourself. And you have to tell it a lot – a lot more than the slightly or completely negative one you’ve told most of your life. It takes some effort. Think of it as a record album with grooves that the needle fits in to. Those grooves are deep. Your job is to change what plays in the grooves.

Seek out other stories about yourself that make that original story no longer true. Think of times you succeeded! Replay compliments you’ve received from others or times when clients or employees were extremely satisfied about something you’ve done.

To me, my friend is determined, a talented artist, compassionate, diligent and successful. She mentored me and helped me just because she is all of those things I described. She certainly didn’t have to put in the time with me. And she put in the time with about ten of us, creating a shared experience that I will never forget. I hope she can incorporate the parts of that experience into her own story. To me, she was everything I needed her to be at that time in my life.

One of my favorite gatherings with a group of friends happened one New Year’s Day several years ago. We were all thinking about the new year and decided we would go around the room and say one thing about each person that summed up how we felt about them. Meanwhile, a scribe wrote them all on a note pad and gave them to each person to keep. I carried mine in my wallet for years. Now I keep it on my desk and unfold it once in awhile.  It’s part of my new story. Some of the chapters of my story can still get pretty negative. It’s a constant and evolving process, especially when the examples I can point to so clearly reinforce those things I believe that just aren’t true. That little piece of paper helps a lot. So do all the people in my life who help to correct my story when I get it wrong.

Words for my new story

words for my new story

  • Mama – fixes anything
  • Strong – brings out the best in others
  • Integrity
  • My saving grace – my Queen
  • Intelligent – teacher
  • My heart
  • Profound

Wow, right?! That’s a story with a much happier ending.

Do you need help rewriting your new story? Ask for help – friends, mentors, family, colleagues, coaches and others are likely ready and willing to help you.

Journal it out – the old story and the new version. What words and phrases will you use to replace those that hurt you or changed your belief in yourself?

Start telling your new story.

 

“But her story isn’t finished, and for once she’s picked up a pen.”

― Kelsey Sutton, Some Quiet Place

Demons Bearing Gifts

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In his book, Crisis Points: Working Through Personal Problems, author Julian Sleigh introduced me to the idea of demons who show up in our lives making us “shrink in fear and revulsion.” Yet they bear gifts hidden under their wings. “If we challenge them and make them yield up their gifts,” he says, “they will be satisfied and will fly away, leaving us to benefit from what they brought.”

If this is true, I met many demons last year and it took me awhile to make them show me the gifts. You may be wondering where I’ve been since last February. And, perhaps my biggest fear is that you are not. Maybe my posts and newsletters and calls were forgotten in the bustle of your own demons, triumphs and joys. And that’s as it should be, really. My demons belong to me – and yours to you. And for much of 2012, I couldn’t coach you or help you to share your fears because my own demons were circling like vultures, it seemed.

Last year began rather unexpectedly and dramatically for me and my family. My youngest daughter was hit by a young driver, resulting in a severe break at the ankle and the total loss of her car and her job. Months of surgeries and pain followed, and I worried about every aspect of her recovery. Simultaneously, another demon brought me the realization that my mother’s dementia and failing health would require an almost immediate move to assisted living. I worried that the house wouldn’t sell and that we wouldn’t be able to afford the right place. Later that summer, my oldest daughter broke her wrist – yet another surgery ensued! Federal funding cuts affected nonprofits that I serve daily. I slipped into a routine of reacting, fretting, doubting myself and fearing – oh the fearing!. By July, being on hyper alert to all of these issues began to take a toll on my physical and emotional health. It took me a few months, but by the end of the year, I came up and out of the darkness and demanded that all these demons yield their gifts to me. And there they were…

I was able to work when I could, as I could, without losing my income or the career that is so meaningful to me. My children recovered and found their own gifts in the pain and suffering. My mother adjusted to the move and I found that I enjoyed having her so close and can accept what her brain can offer at this stage of her life. I realized that if I ignore the emotional work that needs to be done and hope that it all goes away, it won’t. I read a lot of books and watched a lot of movies, but when they each ended, the problems were still there. If I try to continually live with reacting rather than responding, I eventually break down and need to nurture myself and heal. I’m not an adrenaline junkie anymore. Maybe it’s my age or maybe it’s just that I’m tired of it.

But when I do demand the gifts, I am surprised by joy and I see grace. I see those friends who loved me through the times I retreated to my room, forgetting to call or send a birthday card. I am loved by those family members who believe that what I could do in those moments was enough. My colleagues, clients, and teammates acknowledge my journey and wait for me to come back to myself. I forgive myself for not ‘achieving my goals’ or ‘committing to success.’ I just let it all go and reach for what is beautiful and comforting.

So this year, so far, the demons have been mostly at bay. For now. I am back to myself and back to work that I love in a way that pleases and delights me. I remember why I love coaching so much and have reconnected with old clients and welcomed new ones. There are still issues – some loom large on the horizon. But there is more good in my life than I can number.

This year will be filled with peace. How do I know? Because even when the demons swoop in, I know that they are carrying something that I desperately need. And only I have the ability to ask them to surrender it.

Surrender. Sounds like a beautiful state of being, doesn’t it?

Forever Changed

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Five years ago today, I lost almost everything I owned in a perfect storm named Katrina.  While we drove farther away from the Mississippi Gulf Coast, flood waters moved into our home and carried our refrigerator into the living room.  Hundreds of books became a pile of unreadable mush. We stood in stunned silence in a Florida motel room packed with our girls, four dogs, a hairless rat, two gerbils and boxes of what we thought was important enough to take with us, watching the destruction on the television.  And when we returned, we slipped into an instant shock as we saw cars smashed up against buildings, slab after slab lined along the beaches and the most intimate belongings strewn along tree branches or melded into fences.  At one point, the pile of debris in the front of our yard was taller than the roof of our house. We wondered if we would ever feel better.  Coming together on streets that looked like a battlefield, we asked our friends and acquaintances if they knew who survived and who didn’t.  Helicopters overhead reinforced the feeling that we were in a third-world country.  I questioned whether we should live in a place where something like this is possible. Our children grieved over the loss of memorabilia that spanned their short lifetimes. We cried over the things we didn’t consider important enough to stuff into the cars. We longed for walls, a television, a home cooked meal in a ‘normal kitchen,’ a FEMA trailer and a bed to sleep in.  And we were terrified that we wouldn’t have the means to rebuild and carry on.

We couldn’t think ahead much past the next week or maybe, if we stretched it, the next month. Living in the present wasn’t something we struggled to perfect – it became default mode as we didn’t want to relive the trauma of the recent past and we couldn’t quite grasp the concept of a normal future.

Let me tell you about the volunteers.  I still can’t fathom how people put their lives, careers and school years on hold to come and muck out house after house.  People came to us from all across the nation and cried with us as we took stock of what we lost.  We felt their love and they felt our losses as they were confronted day after day with the aftermath of the trauma.  You would think they would want to run away and stay in their own comfortable homes with their healthy, happy families.  But they stayed, or returned again and again.  Americorps volunteers, students from Queens University and many other colleges, church members from every denomination – they all rushed in to help us when we couldn’t help ourselves.

Now, I sit in my living room, typing on a laptop and watching the Emmys in High Definition.  The air conditioner hums softly in the background and I have electricity in every room of my house at the same time without having to prioritize appliances into a small number of working outlets.  I just returned home from a celebration in the little town of Bay St. Louis where countless friends and community leaders came together to remember those who lost their lives and to take stock of how far we’ve come.  Businesses still struggle to stay open another week.  The oil spill has us all feeling more than a little beleaguered.  And we might always hold our breath through most of July through September, hoping this doesn’t happen again.

Let me tell you about what I gained from Katrina.  I know how to hang and finish drywall now which I suppose sets me apart from many of my peers.  My neighbors and I now know each other by name and we still do little things for each other to make life easier.  Almost all of my possessions are new and my house is more open and comfortable, yet I’m very detached from all things material and mundane.  I found coaching which I believe is my divine, soul purpose.  Gratitude has become a daily practice and my spiritual life is deeper and richer than ever before.  Words like content, delighted and peaceful are used to describe how I feel on a daily basis.  And I have this inner silent knowing of the soul that is unshakeable.

I hope my family and I never have to go through this again. But I know we can survive the unimaginable. As strange as this sounds, I’m grateful for Hurricane Katrina. From much destruction came an incredible rebirth. Five years later, I can tell you – I am forever changed.