Category Archives: Personal Musings

A Crumple and Cry Day

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Did you ever have one of those days that began with something going wrong? Let’s say it was a BIG bad thing.  Or maybe a medium bad thing and then maybe then something else happened and another thing happened and the next thing you know, you’re crying and you can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything?

Been there. Plenty of times.

I used to think it was my adult duty to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again. That’s what I was told. Some days.

But I also was told that crying happens. It sometimes happens when you least expect it and for no apparent reason. Nothing has to go wrong to make you feel like crying. Bad days happen. Negativity takes control. Crying ensues. And often, once it starts, it feels like it won’t stop any time soon.

And crying is cathartic. It can be necessary.

Instead of trying to bury the emotions under a pile of things to do or people to see, I decided years ago that I just needed to surrender, on those days, and have what I call a Crumple and Cry Day. It allows me to grieve over all the injustices that have piled up against me, or those I love and care about, big or small. I just need to surrender to what I cannot control.

No, I don’t cry all day. At least not constantly. I may cry for a bit, stop, cry again, get quiet, cry on the yoga mat, watch tv, cry…etc. I find though that they key to a successful Crumple and Cry Day is just to clear my calendar and settle in for the day and let it unfold as it is meant to do. (Yes, sick days are allowed. If you’re heartsick, take a sick day.

Sinking my feet in the sand, listening to the waves crash on the beach, mimics my internal swell of tears while bringing me to a place of peace.

I don’t have to stay at home and cry. In fact, I often don a pair of sunglasses and cry as I walk the beach, or sit on the front porch. Don’t try to push it down any more, just let it all bubble up and see what you learn from it. You may be surprised at how many little things you’ve been holding on to. Or it may just be one BIG thing. And if that BIG thing comes up on more than one Crumple and Cry Day, it’s a signal that your work isn’t finished.

Crumple and Cry Day doesn’t have to be a whole day. It’s just as long or short as you need it to be.

What happens at the end of a Crumple and Cry Day? I’m tired. I have no more tears left for the time being. And I have generally opened up a space for me to take the next step. Having released all the built up sadness or anger, I can stand in a moment where that container is empty and I am ready to fill up another container with something good. Something possible. Something fresh and new.

If you’re in an overall healthy state of mental wellbeing, crying is a very cleansing, healing and refreshing experience. You might want to keep a notebook nearby as you move out of the sadness and into the peace and calm that follows. It really is almost like decluttering your physical spaces – once you surrender the stuff you’ve been holding on to, you open your heart and mind to what you need in that moment. So listen and be ready to write it down so you won’t forget.

I know some people worry that if they surrender and start to cry, they will never stop. And if you have more Crumple and Cry Days than days filled with possibility, I’m going to suggest you reach out to someone for help. See if that container needs to be washed by something more therapeutic than you can offer yourself.

Let me know what you think. And if you have a way of cleansing and releasing your stuff, tell us about it in the comments.

 

 

Demons Bearing Gifts

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In his book, Crisis Points: Working Through Personal Problems, author Julian Sleigh introduced me to the idea of demons who show up in our lives making us “shrink in fear and revulsion.” Yet they bear gifts hidden under their wings. “If we challenge them and make them yield up their gifts,” he says, “they will be satisfied and will fly away, leaving us to benefit from what they brought.”

If this is true, I met many demons last year and it took me awhile to make them show me the gifts. You may be wondering where I’ve been since last February. And, perhaps my biggest fear is that you are not. Maybe my posts and newsletters and calls were forgotten in the bustle of your own demons, triumphs and joys. And that’s as it should be, really. My demons belong to me – and yours to you. And for much of 2012, I couldn’t coach you or help you to share your fears because my own demons were circling like vultures, it seemed.

Last year began rather unexpectedly and dramatically for me and my family. My youngest daughter was hit by a young driver, resulting in a severe break at the ankle and the total loss of her car and her job. Months of surgeries and pain followed, and I worried about every aspect of her recovery. Simultaneously, another demon brought me the realization that my mother’s dementia and failing health would require an almost immediate move to assisted living. I worried that the house wouldn’t sell and that we wouldn’t be able to afford the right place. Later that summer, my oldest daughter broke her wrist – yet another surgery ensued! Federal funding cuts affected nonprofits that I serve daily. I slipped into a routine of reacting, fretting, doubting myself and fearing – oh the fearing!. By July, being on hyper alert to all of these issues began to take a toll on my physical and emotional health. It took me a few months, but by the end of the year, I came up and out of the darkness and demanded that all these demons yield their gifts to me. And there they were…

I was able to work when I could, as I could, without losing my income or the career that is so meaningful to me. My children recovered and found their own gifts in the pain and suffering. My mother adjusted to the move and I found that I enjoyed having her so close and can accept what her brain can offer at this stage of her life. I realized that if I ignore the emotional work that needs to be done and hope that it all goes away, it won’t. I read a lot of books and watched a lot of movies, but when they each ended, the problems were still there. If I try to continually live with reacting rather than responding, I eventually break down and need to nurture myself and heal. I’m not an adrenaline junkie anymore. Maybe it’s my age or maybe it’s just that I’m tired of it.

But when I do demand the gifts, I am surprised by joy and I see grace. I see those friends who loved me through the times I retreated to my room, forgetting to call or send a birthday card. I am loved by those family members who believe that what I could do in those moments was enough. My colleagues, clients, and teammates acknowledge my journey and wait for me to come back to myself. I forgive myself for not ‘achieving my goals’ or ‘committing to success.’ I just let it all go and reach for what is beautiful and comforting.

So this year, so far, the demons have been mostly at bay. For now. I am back to myself and back to work that I love in a way that pleases and delights me. I remember why I love coaching so much and have reconnected with old clients and welcomed new ones. There are still issues – some loom large on the horizon. But there is more good in my life than I can number.

This year will be filled with peace. How do I know? Because even when the demons swoop in, I know that they are carrying something that I desperately need. And only I have the ability to ask them to surrender it.

Surrender. Sounds like a beautiful state of being, doesn’t it?

Proofs of Self-Love

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Chances are if you go shopping today, you will encounter aisles filled with last minute shoppers searching for the perfect greeting card with an Mp3 song that expresses a beautiful or funny sentiment. Or maybe you’ll notice large stuffed animals with a message embroidered on a large heart carried between their furry paws. If you love chocolates, I hope you get a great big box of chewy caramels or chocolate covered peanut clusters! Pierre Reverdy said “There is no love; there are only proofs of love.” Whatever love might be felt in the heart, we use this day as a way of expressing that love to others through gifts and special treatment.

Yet many jilted lovers will spend the day trying not to cry at their desks or listening to their ‘angry break up song playlist’ on their iPod. Thanks to Adele, many of them now have anthems they can listen to over and over as they try to get over the love they’ve lost. Today, lots of people will express the belief that true love begins with self love. But do they really believe that?

As a coach, I have to say that I do. I have seen countless examples where people took the time to work on their own self-loving, self-care plan, only to come out on the other side with the surprising realization that their relationships blossomed, deepened, or shifted into a place that really began to fulfill their needs and expectations. Self love really does deepen the experience of loving another. And we don’t typically show ourselves many proofs of self love.

Here’s what I’d like you to take on today. I’d like you to agree to begin this Valentine’s Day to create a self-care plan for yourself. I’d like you to really think about one thing you could do each month to treat yourself more gently, more lovingly and with more self respect. At the end of the year, on February 14th 2013, review your year and see what you learned. Are you game?

And if you need some help along the way, that’s what I’m here for. I’ve been working on being more self-loving for awhile and I can tell you it has tremendous benefits! Even though I am lucky enough to have what Etta James called a “Sunday kind of love” with someone special, I am just as grateful that I finally know what it means to love myself and to put myself on the list just as often as I care for others.

I hope you’ll show yourself some amazing Proofs of Love today. If you do, tell me about it by posting a comment here!

I’m No Fool

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from stagevu.com

Jiminy Cricket I\’m No Fool

It’s hard for me to believe that I turned fifty years old a few weeks ago. I didn’t come at this birthday kicking and screaming, although my forty-eight year old self definitely thought I would. Toward the beginning of the year, I felt a bit squeamish about the whole idea. But as September neared, I settled into an acceptance combined with a curiosity about how the next half of my life will play out.

You see, I am going to live to be 103 so I’ve got a lot of living left to do! As a child, one of my favorite short films became a sort of mantra to live a long and healthy life. My mentor, Jiminy Cricket, showed me ‘How to Have Fun Safely’ and live to be 103. (You can see Jiminy in this cartoon short by clicking here or on the link just under his picture.) The lessons I learned from Jiminy as a child felt very different than they do today. I have definitely refined these principles! But here are a few kernels of Jiminy’s wisdom and a look at how I have incorporated this advice today.

“You should always do things the right way.” As a child, I really embraced the rules. Like most, I was a very concrete thinker and Jiminy’s advice made perfect sense. “Only a fool does things the wrong way!” he admonished. These days, I still take this to heart, but the “right way” is the way that works for me and intuitively feels aligned with my inner wisdom. Sometimes I have to ask myself what to do or how to get somewhere several times before I’m satisfied that it’s really right for me. But in this first fifty years, I’ve learned that going against my grain means a longer path to what works and a lot more discomfort than I’d like along the way. I have to trust that I already know the right way and just do it.

Giving it a Twirl

“You should always make time for fun.” Whenever I feel overwhelmed or cross, I can usually step back and see where I let go of fun. I’m one of those people who need a lot of laughter and lightness in my life. When I get my fun back, I’m back in balance.

“You can relax your body, but your mind should always stay alert.” Jiminy meant this as a way of ensuring that his audience wouldn’t fall through ice or play in a dangerous construction site. But for me, this adage has taken on a whole new meaning – one that sometimes makes me a little crazy! My brain almost never shuts down anymore – in fact, it really only rests when I pause to meditate, and even then I can sometimes wander around a conundrum of intrusive thoughts. I have had to learn to control those thoughts and stop ruminating on those that don’t serve me well. It’s simple but not easy! These days, I try to keep my mind alert with positive thinking rather than relenting to the anxiety that used to plague me.

“Never overload a boat.” My life choices so far have taught me a valuable lesson about adding too much to my life. There was a time that I volunteered more hours than most people work in a typical week! I tried to be all for all who needed me and put myself last on the list every time. That is until I learned about the importance of self care and saying no. My wiser, fifty-year old self knows that I can’t cram too much into one day without feeling like I’ve failed, so I have simply stopped overloading myself. Years ago, white space in my calendar might have made me feel like I was unpopular or unsuccessful. Now, lots of white space means I’m leaving a lot of room to work more efficiently with less stress. I take people with me on the boat sometimes, but they can’t all come at once and they have to be able to leave the boat when I say it’s time.

“He climbs up on a wobbly peak and what happens is no joke.” One of the greatest gifts I received when I entered into coach training was the knowledge I gained around the development of a personal foundation. It is also one of the most popular reasons my clients hire me – they want to regain control and build a solid foundation on which to create a successful life and career. We all realize the dangers of moving ahead without shoring up, yet sometimes we’ve had to do it anyway. Personal foundation work includes looking at what you value, what keeps you in your integrity, how to remove those things you are tolerating and, maybe most critical, how to set strong and consistent boundaries with yourself and with others. Most of my clients worry more about their personal foundation than the numbers on their balance sheets. They feel like their work time and the time spent living is out of balance. And conversely, when attention is paid here, success begins to fall more easily and naturally into place.

So it turns out this cartoon short from my childhood has served me well into the 20th anniversary of my 30th birthday. Thanks to Jiminy, I’m going to live a happy life while I’m moving ahead toward 103. Maybe I’ll see you there. I’ll be the one wearing a top hat and tails!

A Values Driven Philosophy

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I created a visual representation of my values today using www.wordle.net.  (Thanks to Meg Hoffman for leading me to this great site!) I think any time you can see something visually it helps you to incorporate it more fully into your life and work. I also use a Values Assessment as fieldwork frequently as I think it is critical in assisting me as a coach to discover what opportunities provide the most authentic meaning in a client’s life and work. In other words, how can any of us engage in a meaningful life or career if we aren’t connecting to things that are important to us?

I used my values when creating a mission and philosophy for 4 Elements Coaching and for my other business, Nonprofit Staff Success International. During the creation phase of my business foundation. I included my values in my business plan and posted them on one website.  By communicating what I value most, I assist my clients in discovering more about me as a coach and as a business owner. And, whenever I come to a personal or business decision that feels heavy, I check in with my values to see whether the opportunity aligns with one or more of them. Because I value community, for example, I may decide to partner with a fellow coach to facilitate a weekend self care retreat which  connects women to other women who share the same challenges and can support solutions. Whenever I create new training content, I am actively aligned with my desire to enlighten my clients and to assist them in discovering new and innovative information that they can apply in their work. There really isn’t any aspect of my coaching businesses that isn’t somehow connected to one of these seven themes.

Do you know what you value? How does it show up in your work and in your life? How often do you check in to see if something you want to do, or feel compelled to do, is aligned with what matters the most?

Even if you aren’t ready to hire a coach, I’d love to help you discover your values and how you can apply this information to your career or to a situation where you need more clarity or movement.

Contact me at LaurieJohnson@4elementscoaching.com or by using our contact us form here and ask for a complimentary values assessment and coaching session. Don’t you owe it to yourself to create a rich life and satisfying work that flows around the things that are an integral part of who you are?



Everyone Deserves a Chance to Fly

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This blog was posted originally on another site August 20, 2007. On May 7th, 2011, we watched as our Megan crossed the stage to receive her Bachelor of Arts degree from Queens University of Charlotte.

I’ll tell you about her four year adventure in an upcoming post. For now, join me in remembering the day we parted, and celebrating the end of a journey that came to pass so much more swiftly than we could have imagined!

Everyone Deserves a Chance to Fly

We’ve anticipated the day we’d have to leave Megan at Queens and make the long walk back to the car without her. Sometime in May, Megan and I started the grieving dance and talked about how much we would miss each other.  I’ve been planning activities that will keep me busy through the end of the year.  “I’ll have more time to scrapbook after Megan leaves,” I’ve told myself for the past several months.  “I’m going to sign up to take some online classes as I’ll have much more time after Megan leaves.”  In an effort to give myself something to look forward to this week, I saved a few magazines to read when I returned home.  I started a very long and involved novel that doesn’t contain mothers or daughters, stories about rites of passage, college campuses or poignant moments when people realize the value of familial relationships.  And when Blockbuster offered me a free trial of their new mail-order DVD program, I jumped at the chance to lose myself in a couple of movies a week so as not to notice how quiet the house would become without the Princess in the castle.  So, how’s that workin’ for me?

Despite the fact that Megan has left us little post-it notes throughout the house that say “Megan misses you,” I have done remarkably well.  If I was so inclined, I suppose I could convince myself that she’s just gone off for a few weeks to visit her dad or that Barnes and Noble has increased her hours.  Denial is a place I tend to visit often, it’s true.  But today when I signed on to MySpace, I discovered a comment left by my baby girl. I excitedly clicked on her page to send a loving, sentimental tome right back only to find that her page now says she’s a “Female, 18 years old, Charlotte, North Carolina.”  I took a sharp intake of breath and a lump formed in my throat.  “NO!” I screamed.  “She’s still my baby!  I’m not ready!”

Too late.  She’s already made many friends, played poker till dawn, crazy-danced to 80s music, eaten smores by the fire pit, and spent $300 for books.  I wouldn’t take that away from her for anything in the world.  In the midst of one very brief but emotional phone call back before the fun-filled orientation activities began, she questioned whether she would fit in at this school.  Part of me wanted to say, “Uh..no Megan.  You won’t.  We’ve made a terrible mistake leaving you there and I have turned this truck around and we’re coming back to get ya!”  But in reality, she’s right where she belongs.

Megan gazed at the statue of the Goddess Diana in the courtyard of Queens University of Charlotte for the first time when she was nine years old.  Since then, her paths, dreams, interests, our conversations, her academic performance, test scores, applications and interviews – everything has come together into a perfect synergy. The Universe has spoken – our Megan is right where she needs to be.   And true to her reputation, Diana will protect our daughter for the next four years.  Megan is in the hands of the Great Mother now.

What exciting adventures await our little one?  I can hardly wait to find out.

She Who Hesitates Is Found

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This year, I have set off with an intention to simplify my life. It was my clear desire at the start of 2011 to let go of those things that were draining my energy and making me feel cranky, guilty, inadequate or used. I leaped into a critical examination of all the things I was involved with or attached to and considered what I could let go of without too much trauma or sadness for all involved.

This process hasn’t been quick or easy, but it has created an unexpected discovery. As I let go of things and examine what isn’t really serving me wholly and completely, I find that others around me are doing the same.  The biggest lesson for me in these months of purging is that the very nature of my change creates an awareness of the changes others are making as well. Some of my friends and colleagues have let go of their stuff just as carefully and deliberately as I have let go of mine! It hasn’t always made me happy – in some cases it has made me downright angry.  But if I feel the need to simplify, I have to respect the same course of action in those I care about as well.

As a coach, I often work with clients on personal foundation issues. There are always clients who come to me seeking more work /life balance, time or energy to complete their tasks. The age old question, “How will I get all of this done?” comes up time and time again in the lives of those I work with. My own daughter, who just graduated from college with her Bachelor’s degree, has used the word “overwhelmed” more than once a week for the past semester.

So how does one go about simplifying a full and over committed life? It requires a quizzical mind and a willingness to put up with the consequences. I started by making a full inquiry and inventory of the groups, events, and efforts I spent even a little time engaged in. Then I listed them out based on whether they were perpetual or had an end date. I grouped them by Large, Average or Small in terms of the time commitment required and then gave them a “Shackles On or Shackles Off” grade. Did I feel happy when spending time and energy on this? Could I hang in there and live with it until completion? Or did I need to regroup, delegate or let go completely? I spent quiet moments considering how my breathing and posture changed when I considered a life with or without these considerations. If I burst into tears thinking about a commitment, I took that as a mandate to go deep within and let go of some aspect or the entirety of my involvement.

When I started looking at what I could let go of and get the most benefit, I was terrified about how the other people involved would feel. I understood they might be angry and resentful. I felt guilty about originally committing to something I couldn’t fulfill. But my perspective was different than theirs. I saw that staying with the project or practice would actually hurt the end result rather than make things better. If my involvement wasn’t complete and I wasn’t all in, the best solution was to stop, release, or even find some way for me or someone like me to step up and do a better job.  I had to think of my self, heal my self and intend to care more fully for my self in the future.

So what lesson did I learn from my inner sage woman? She who hesitates is found. My version of this proverb has a completely different meaning doesn’t it? I now know I cannot say yes without thinking of the larger, broader ramifications of my decision to participate or engage in something that may not fit into my life or bring me joy! Jen Louden’s tweet earlier today sums up what I’ve been feeling too – she tweets, “I am finally ready to stop doing anything that drains my energy and makes me resentful.” Isn’t that a wonderful statement for all of us to embrace?

What does an energy draining or shackles on item look like and feel like for you? Does your breath quicken? Do you feel sad, resentful, guilty, inadequate or scared? Do you want to keep feeling this way? Are you ready to release and breathe deeply again?

One of my friends recently let go of something she had been involved in for a very long time. Some of her sojourners, including myself, had strong, negative reactions to her departure. She told me she didn’t want people to be angry with her for leaving. My sage woman took over and said, “You can’t control how other people feel – you can only do what you want to do and live with what comes out of the leaving.”

But hopefully what she found, and what I have found too, is an inner peace that comes from knowing when to let go. And now I know to hesitate and consult my inner sage before walking blindly and losing myself in an overcommitted life that tips my balance. I make no apologies for not scrawling my name on the sign-up sheet, for only blogging on the occasional Tuesday, or for saying no to a request for something I can’t deliver. The result is that I get to send out more handwritten notes, create more poetry and bake for pleasure. The journey continues but the peace I’ve found so far is invaluable.

Standing on the Shoulders of Greatness

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I have been mindful these days about the connection between the living and the dead. Yes, it is Halloween and this is one of my favorite holidays. I am one of those people who enjoy watching horror films in the dark, clutching my blanket in anticipation of the heart pounding scare.  I fill all available spaces with cackling witches, vampire candles and things that glow in the dark.

Ancient traditions around this holiday point to a practice of honoring our ancestors.  This time of the year marks a time for séances or other techniques to connect living souls to those departed souls who need to send a message or comfort the aggrieved. This practice frightens a lot of folks and often becomes the subject of scary soundtracks, books and films.

 But what if we took the scary out and considered the value of connecting in some way with those who have paved the way for our current success in life and work? I recently attended a leadership retreat where we opened the group event with an Ancestor’s Circle. Each participant lifted up and honored someone who had made a significant impact on their life and work.  The effect was phenomenal. A group of strangers who had barely introduced themselves become clearly and unexpectedly emotional as they described these amazing people who had believed in them, made them feel special or unique, or provided a foundational framework from which to live, work, and create community with others.

I stand on the shoulders of many amazing people who assisted me on the path I walk today.

Anna Lehmker, my grandmother, dropped everything when I spent time with her. She made me feel loved and valued as we walked through her amazing garden or played pencil games.

Roy Lehmker, my father, loved me quietly but completely as he nurtured me and gave me strength and resilience.  He rarely complained, demonstrating a work ethic that is deeply engrained in me.  He taught me how to enjoy life and love family.

Betty Spencer mentored me as I began working in the field of child advocacy and human services. A social worker who never really retired, Betty always asked, “Why aren’t we doing this?” or “How can we help this family?”

Thomas Leonard, known to most as the Father of Coaching, created a plethora of material that we all still draw from today.  His legacy lives on in many volumes of written work, two major coaching universities and many masterful coaches who were mentored by Thomas and who now mentor and instruct me. If not for Thomas, I would not have been able to build this business and engage in work that I enjoy more than anything I have ever done.

So now, I ask you to take a few moments to consider who carved a path for you in your life and work. Whose shoulders do you stand on today? And how did they help you become the person, the leader or the volunteer you have become? Max Delbruck said, “Any living cell carries with it the experience of a billion years of experimentation.” 

What a rich legacy we carry forward to generations to come!

Forever Changed

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Five years ago today, I lost almost everything I owned in a perfect storm named Katrina.  While we drove farther away from the Mississippi Gulf Coast, flood waters moved into our home and carried our refrigerator into the living room.  Hundreds of books became a pile of unreadable mush. We stood in stunned silence in a Florida motel room packed with our girls, four dogs, a hairless rat, two gerbils and boxes of what we thought was important enough to take with us, watching the destruction on the television.  And when we returned, we slipped into an instant shock as we saw cars smashed up against buildings, slab after slab lined along the beaches and the most intimate belongings strewn along tree branches or melded into fences.  At one point, the pile of debris in the front of our yard was taller than the roof of our house. We wondered if we would ever feel better.  Coming together on streets that looked like a battlefield, we asked our friends and acquaintances if they knew who survived and who didn’t.  Helicopters overhead reinforced the feeling that we were in a third-world country.  I questioned whether we should live in a place where something like this is possible. Our children grieved over the loss of memorabilia that spanned their short lifetimes. We cried over the things we didn’t consider important enough to stuff into the cars. We longed for walls, a television, a home cooked meal in a ‘normal kitchen,’ a FEMA trailer and a bed to sleep in.  And we were terrified that we wouldn’t have the means to rebuild and carry on.

We couldn’t think ahead much past the next week or maybe, if we stretched it, the next month. Living in the present wasn’t something we struggled to perfect – it became default mode as we didn’t want to relive the trauma of the recent past and we couldn’t quite grasp the concept of a normal future.

Let me tell you about the volunteers.  I still can’t fathom how people put their lives, careers and school years on hold to come and muck out house after house.  People came to us from all across the nation and cried with us as we took stock of what we lost.  We felt their love and they felt our losses as they were confronted day after day with the aftermath of the trauma.  You would think they would want to run away and stay in their own comfortable homes with their healthy, happy families.  But they stayed, or returned again and again.  Americorps volunteers, students from Queens University and many other colleges, church members from every denomination – they all rushed in to help us when we couldn’t help ourselves.

Now, I sit in my living room, typing on a laptop and watching the Emmys in High Definition.  The air conditioner hums softly in the background and I have electricity in every room of my house at the same time without having to prioritize appliances into a small number of working outlets.  I just returned home from a celebration in the little town of Bay St. Louis where countless friends and community leaders came together to remember those who lost their lives and to take stock of how far we’ve come.  Businesses still struggle to stay open another week.  The oil spill has us all feeling more than a little beleaguered.  And we might always hold our breath through most of July through September, hoping this doesn’t happen again.

Let me tell you about what I gained from Katrina.  I know how to hang and finish drywall now which I suppose sets me apart from many of my peers.  My neighbors and I now know each other by name and we still do little things for each other to make life easier.  Almost all of my possessions are new and my house is more open and comfortable, yet I’m very detached from all things material and mundane.  I found coaching which I believe is my divine, soul purpose.  Gratitude has become a daily practice and my spiritual life is deeper and richer than ever before.  Words like content, delighted and peaceful are used to describe how I feel on a daily basis.  And I have this inner silent knowing of the soul that is unshakeable.

I hope my family and I never have to go through this again. But I know we can survive the unimaginable. As strange as this sounds, I’m grateful for Hurricane Katrina. From much destruction came an incredible rebirth. Five years later, I can tell you – I am forever changed.

The Element of Fun

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You may have noticed – I hope you noticed – that we were offline for awhile.  A series of wonderful and not so wonderful things happened and we’re back in business, thanks to Aletha McManama and the folks at GoDaddy.  I lost a few posts and learned a lot about the process of blogging and preserving blogs as well as how Twitter can provide instant customer service response.

So here we go again with a do-over of sorts. A mulligan, if you’re into the game of Golf.  

During the stressful moments of the past few weeks, I discovered things were feeling a little rushed and humorless.  I wanted things to feel fun and frivolous instead of heavy and hard. The crazy busyness of the last two months has calmed enough for me to recognize that my connection to the work has been too worky.

So I decided to hire my 3 year old granddaughter Kandyce and my 3 year old Beagle, Charlotte as consultants in my business.  These are two girls who can really draw me into the fun and make me remember to stop taking things so seriously.

Since they started, we’ve incorporated a few additional practices into my business:

  • Playing with the Talking Tom Cat App on my iPhone.
  • Regular breaks to run around the house chasing each other make us more productive.
  • There are endless ways in which to laugh and giggle.
  • We use the Whisper-ma-Phone during meetings to mix things up a little.
  • Naps are a good way to dream up new ideas.
  • Singing at the top of your lungs makes you feel free.

Is the element of fun missing in your work process? Are there eager consultants all around you who can bring more fun or creativity into your business?

For me, bringing the element of laughter or lightness back into the mix can really free up creative energy and move me forward if I’m stuck in a rut. And spending time with the people who remind me that this is what it’s all about makes me happier about the work in general.

In between naps and fun breaks, I’ve been creating a new coaching group and meeting wonderful writers and creatives in person and in my own little corner of the virtual world. I hope you’ll join us the August 31st as we look at the Element of Creativity and begin a year-long journey of reawakening your creative spirit.  Make sure you’re on my mailing list so you can be included in the announcements. Or if you can’t wait, email me and I’ll tell you all about it.

 I’m off for a little giggle before bed!