Author Archives: Laurie Johnson

Your Personal Brand

Posted on by
Reply

I think all of us are aware of the effects branding can have on business. How many of you can see the familiar ‘swish’ and think, “Just Do It”? Or hear a beguiling British accent we now attribute to a gecko selling insurance and smile? Branding has a significant impact on sales by developing awareness, then affinity, and then loyalty from the consumer.

Some time ago, I was offered the chance to do a 360° assessment on my personal brand to discover what others think about me and my value as a coach, leader and team player. I had never engaged in a 360° feedback assessment before so it was a little scary.  Asking others to provide honest, anonymous feedback about you requires a certain amount of courage. There’s also the fear that they won’t think enough of you take 10 minutes out of their day to complete the survey. I pushed the ‘send’ button after much deep breathing and a commitment to learn from the experience, come what may.

Surprisingly, almost half of my candidates provided feedback, which was the first remarkable moment. Next, I discovered that they had really great things to say about me! My most common personal brand attributes were Creative, Socially-conscious, Community-oriented, Intelligent and Supportive. My brand personas were Philanthropist, Caregiver, Self-starter, Expert, Motivator and Giver. Imagine how wonderfully these words penetrated my psyche! My greatest strengths resonated along these same lines.

Then I came to the part I was dreading – the feedback on weaknesses. Short comments spoke to the fact that I overextend myself and sometimes don’t follow up. I get caught up in stress and don’t make enough time to accomplish what I would like. I don’t always trust myself to know when to say no.  Did these comments surprise me? Absolutely not. Did they make me feel bad about myself? Actually, they did just the opposite. They allowed me to see what I already knew through the eyes of the people I work with, provide service to, and collaborate with on teams, boards and projects. I understood the theory of self-care and setting strong boundaries, but I saw the effects on my personal brand first hand. It gave me a lot to unpack and examine in order to improve the way I do business – and create my personal brand.

Discovery through this lens caused me to begin the process of reshaping my boundaries and dramatically simplifying my life, to really look at the ways I can provide value to others in a new and streamlined way. The process seemed a little daunting at first, but it turned out to be an invaluable experience.  And although I may not continue to engage in such a systematic way of gathering a 360° reach, I can continue to evaluate my personal brand using external feedback and so can you.

I used Wiliam Arruda’s 360 Reach assessment and I highly recommend it. But while I think that everyone should engage in a formalized 360° assessment at some point, there are some quick and informal ways of getting to the heart of what others believe to be true about you. You can create a personal branding survey using tools like Survey Monkey or Zoomerang, which both offer a free 30 day trial and a mechanism for anonymous feedback. You can just create a set of questions or a list of words you would like your closest friends, colleagues or loyal clients to comment about. Discovering your role on a team or your projective attributes can really assist you in examining how you work best with others and where your challenges might lie. Looking at how you form boundaries or what value you may or may not provide is critical feedback if you provide client services. Do your clients or colleagues have a high level of trust in your abilities? Are you overextending yourself? Chances are, this information can help you understand what others unconsciously or consciously think about when working with you.

Sure, this process can be a little daunting. But it can also be a tremendously rewarding experience. You may not have a catchy slogan or a likable mascot for your business, but chances are the uniqueness of you is pretty beguiling!

I’m including a document Informal 360 Assessment – Words that Describe Me with a list of words that might get you started. Use them in your assessment with others or as a springboard to create your own set of words or questions.  

If you’d like to do this type of work with your staff, I do this all the time and find it be very effective in creating more cohesive, dynamic teams.  Or, if you’d participated in a 360 type assessment, but want some coaching on how to implement what you’ve learned, let me know. It’s one of the best springboards to success.

If you take this on, let me know how it goes. Leave a comment below or reach out on Facebook.

 

Word Cloud of my Assessment results

Creating Some Daily Habits

Posted on by
Reply
Habits Quote

Looking for inspirational quotes can also be a daily habit!

 

One of the best things about becoming a coach was the training I received from Coach University. There were a variety of courses offered in both of the programs I completed, but one of the first courses I took was Personal Foundation.

Now I could write a book about what I learned in that class, but there is one available. (Warning –  it’s pretty pricey. You can find it on Amazon right here.) One of the best tools I received, and one I share with my clients frequently, was the idea of creating ten daily habits that would keep me grounded and ensure I had enough reserves to get through each day. It’s one of the best ways I keep my work and life in good balance. When I was caregiving for my mom, I often got so stressed that I would let my daily habits fall by the wayside. This resulted in anxiety and a feeling that everything was out of control. That experience taught me that making sure I practice my ten daily habits when I am stressed is critical to keeping that stress under control.

When we’re in crisis or depleted of energy from our “busyness”, we tend to be reactive rather than responsive. When we create personal energetic reserves, they help us feel as though we are connected to a place of balance and control.

Your daily habits can be whatever you want them to be and you don’t absolutely have to do each one every day. In fact, at first, it may be hard to fit them all in. And these habits don’t have to be time consuming. On my current list, there are three things I can do in the space of 20 minutes that help me to ensure that my day starts off in a way that is optimum for me.  For example, you might decide you need daily exercise, some motivation from a favorite podcast and adequate amounts of water during the day. Three habits can be accomplished all at one time if you bring your phone, earbuds and a water bottle on a morning walk.

Here’s a list of my 10 daily habits:

1)   Inspiration and Visualization (can be my music playlist or time spent visualizing what my success really looks like.)

2)   Move my body in some way every day (usually means morning yoga, but can be a walk around the block or doing a happy dance while listening to music playlists.)

3)   Morning pages/gratitude journaling. (three long-hand pages every morning thanks to a practice I learned from Julia Cameron over ten years ago)

4)   Read something every day (could be as simple as a blog post or article online or just might be the books I am currently reading.)

5)   Grounding and centering (I set a daily intention just after yoga while I am still on the mat)

6)   Meditation or quiet time (still on the yoga mat)

7)   Karma notes or calls (a practice I learned from Veronika Noize as a part of her marketing class. Just reaching out to someone every day and exchanging a positive thought or a thank-you for something)

8)   Water (I don’t feel as well as I want to feel if I stop drinking water.)

9)   Declutter – spaces, thoughts or inbox. (A little decluttering each day goes a long way toward keeping me from being anxious and unproductive)

10)  Create at least one new thing (I might draw, paint or write. Just one little creative thing daily keeps me happy.)

Get the idea? I keep my list of 10 Daily Habits taped on one of the cabinets next to my desk so that I am constantly checking in to them, refining and refreshing the list as needed. When you first start, it helps to keep them handy and nearby.

Ready to create your 10 daily habits? Here’s a Ten Daily Habits Template to help you get started!

 

 

Stress-Proofing Your Life

Posted on by
Reply

Since we are all Game Of Thrones fans in this house, we think she’s saying “Where Are My Dragons??!!

We recently experienced a life-changing event in our family. Our newest granddaughter, Adeline Rey, came into the world on May 4th. But she tried to arrive much earlier, which resulted in bed rest for mom and a team effort on the part of the family to ensure that mom and baby were cared for and all the moving pieces and parts of family life and work responsibilities carried on, as usual.

During an email conversation with a fellow coach, I was reminded of the importance of preparing for impending stress, even when that stress is a result of an incredibly joyful event.  I thought about what she said and realized it applies to your company or your work teams as much as it does for self and family.

The idea of stress-proofing is anticipating, as much as possible, what the stressors will be and how you will respond to them. So in the workplace, you might be bidding for a new contract, opening a new office or producing a new product. Extra hours may factor into the anticipation of stress, as well as taking on additional roles or responsibilities, either temporarily or permanently.  And of course, life happens and you may experience the need to stress-proof your life and business due to an accident, an addition to the family or a sudden illness that causes you to shift into caregiving mode. You feel as though, for whatever reason, you may be exhausted or anxious about change.

When we are under stress, we often find ourselves feeling as though things are out of control. Or we become more intolerant of others, realizing that things that were negligibly bothersome before now seem large and extremely annoying. Stress can cause individuals to shut down and stop communicating effectively. Add a dose of sleeplessness or exhaustion and you’ve got a recipe for angry responses, team members dropping balls or meltdowns.

Stress proofing helps you keep some of the negative responses or conversations to a minimum.  The process includes meeting with the team before the change or extra work begins and considering some of the following:

1)    What stress points can you anticipate? Can you break down each aspect of the project or process and think about what stress producing events might occur?

2)    When you think about your stressful situations in the past, what has worked well for you? What do you want to make sure you don’t bring into the plan this time?

3)    Who will handle each aspect of the project? Who will cover what and what is the absolute minimum acceptable response to the everyday, as well as the new stressful situation? What can’t be left undone and what can be divided up most effectively?

4)    How will you effectively track progress? Do lists or visual prompts help you feel more in control?

5)    What will you do during your down time to mitigate your stressful responses? Do you need to ensure you continue or add exercise? Proper hydration? Music or time for a movie or your favorite television show?  Music and laughter are very useful in creating a greater sense of calm and wellbeing.

6)    What will you do to shift your response if you find yourself moving into the role of control freak or generally becoming more intolerant of people or situations?

7)    Who else needs to know that you are moving into high gear and may not respond as quickly or calmly as usual?

8)    What supports do you need to call in? Who else besides yourself or your team members can take up some of the personal or professional slack?

Once you have an idea of what this may take and how you can implement the plan to help mitigate the stress, consider jotting down some notes about your stress-proofing plan so you don’t forget when the going gets really tough.

Also, don’t forget that your response to things during this time is coming from your perspective of things.  And your perspective may be the complete opposite of someone else’s. You are feeding yourself information about what’s happening and that information may be based in reality or based in a slightly exhausted, anxious or even panicked version of reality. Try to step away and look at things from several different lenses. Ask someone who isn’t in the middle of it all whether you are being unreasonable or coming at things from a skewed perspective. Then figure out how to get closer to a more realistic view.

Self-care needs to go into high gear when you are facing an increase in production or a change in the way you normally work. Sadly, self-care is often the first thing that we take off the plate. Don’t forego those things that calm or comfort you because you have less time. Find a space to slip those self-care activities into your day as much as possible. And if you absolutely can’t, resume them as soon as you can.  You’ll feel yourself coming back to your regular routine fairly quickly as long as you are mindful of what you need to include during the day.

I’d love to hear your ideas about stress-proofing and how you might approach the next situation in this way. A little bit of thought around stressful situations and responses will go a long way toward making you feel better and help you work through it with a greater sense of peace and purposeful action.

(PS: A couple of years ago, I stumbled on coloring books for adults and realized the claiming benefit a few moments of coloring can have on my mood. Now, they are all the rage and you can find them almost anywhere. If you haven’t given coloring a try since grade school, I highly recommend it as a stress-proofing tool!)

When it’s time to change your story

Posted on by
3

A conversation with someone I’ve known for a long time reminded me of a challenge so many of us face.  We have a story we believe and continuously tell about ourselves, even if only in an internal dialogue. That story begins when we are born and what we are told, what we experience and what we want all comes together in a narrative we play subconsciously and often recite to others.

When I was a child, a woman who went to our church looked down at me one day and said, “Don’t worry sweetie, some day you’ll grow up to be a pretty girl.” Wow, right??! Basically, I heard, “You’re pretty ugly right now and hopefully you’ll grow up and be pretty.” What I internalized for YEARS was that I wasn’t pretty yet.

My friend relayed to me that her father said she wouldn’t ever amount to anything. She translated that to mean she would never be successful. It’s a limiting belief she lives with and probably thinks about often. When she searches her brain for memories, she finds experiences that reinforce her story that she will always be nothing much to talk about. Then she relays the story to me and probably to others.

A professor gave me a nugget of information once that changed my life. He said the thing is, our brain believes what we tell it to believe. If you tell yourself you are worthless, you’ll constantly feel worthless. If you keep repeating a successful story, you’ll begin to feel successful. Even if you had a bad experience in your life, you can stop feeding your brain with the same memory, dialogue or belief. You have the opportunity and all the skills you need to tell a new story.

So how do you tell a new and better story about yourself?  You have to create a new story or belief about yourself. And you have to tell it a lot – a lot more than the slightly or completely negative one you’ve told most of your life. It takes some effort. Think of it as a record album with grooves that the needle fits in to. Those grooves are deep. Your job is to change what plays in the grooves.

Seek out other stories about yourself that make that original story no longer true. Think of times you succeeded! Replay compliments you’ve received from others or times when clients or employees were extremely satisfied about something you’ve done.

To me, my friend is determined, a talented artist, compassionate, diligent and successful. She mentored me and helped me just because she is all of those things I described. She certainly didn’t have to put in the time with me. And she put in the time with about ten of us, creating a shared experience that I will never forget. I hope she can incorporate the parts of that experience into her own story. To me, she was everything I needed her to be at that time in my life.

One of my favorite gatherings with a group of friends happened one New Year’s Day several years ago. We were all thinking about the new year and decided we would go around the room and say one thing about each person that summed up how we felt about them. Meanwhile, a scribe wrote them all on a note pad and gave them to each person to keep. I carried mine in my wallet for years. Now I keep it on my desk and unfold it once in awhile.  It’s part of my new story. Some of the chapters of my story can still get pretty negative. It’s a constant and evolving process, especially when the examples I can point to so clearly reinforce those things I believe that just aren’t true. That little piece of paper helps a lot. So do all the people in my life who help to correct my story when I get it wrong.

Words for my new story

words for my new story

  • Mama – fixes anything
  • Strong – brings out the best in others
  • Integrity
  • My saving grace – my Queen
  • Intelligent – teacher
  • My heart
  • Profound

Wow, right?! That’s a story with a much happier ending.

Do you need help rewriting your new story? Ask for help – friends, mentors, family, colleagues, coaches and others are likely ready and willing to help you.

Journal it out – the old story and the new version. What words and phrases will you use to replace those that hurt you or changed your belief in yourself?

Start telling your new story.

 

“But her story isn’t finished, and for once she’s picked up a pen.”

― Kelsey Sutton, Some Quiet Place

I’ll Keep On Making These New Mistakes

Posted on by
Reply

Last week, I was watching Dancing with the Stars and heard this great song called Try Everything from the movie, Zootopia. I immediately recognized it as one of those songs I needed to add to my Morning Inspiration Playlist. (Do you have one of those? I highly recommend it!)

A couple of days later, I played it for my granddaughter, Kandyce, and told her I thought we’d be able to go see the movie this weekend. (We did and it was fantastic! I highly recommend that too.) I got the chance to see the song paired with the movie and it inspired me even more! You can watch the video just below and get a small sampling of what I’m talking about.

Try Everything Official Video Shakira

Watching Judy Hopps articulate her dream as a young person and then set out to make it come true was very inspiring. But what resonated with me the most about the lyrics is these two lines: “I’ll keep on making these new mistakes. I’ll keep on making them every day.”

As we launch or grow a business or nonprofit, we absolutely don’t know everything.  It’s one of the reasons many people NEVER even begin. Fear of making mistakes and failing can be truly paralyzing. A lot of business owners find that they aren’t willing to try everything or ANYTHING because it may mean they fall. The more things you try, the greater the risk.

Notice the song doesn’t say you’ll make the same mistakes. It says you’ll keep on making new mistakes. If you’re not making new mistakes, you may not ever get to where you want to be. You’ll hear crickets all day long if you don’t try something. You have to keep putting yourself out there, every day, to see what works and what doesn’t.

Sure, you’ll have bad days. You’ll make choices that could have turned out differently and led you to a different place. You’ll feel like things aren’t moving fast enough and want to give up. But you’ll keep learning! You’ll do it differently tomorrow and the next day, until you see that it’s working just the way you want it to.  Just like Judy, you’ll climb and fall, climb and fall. You’ll figure out how to do it differently and you’ll stop falling.

And perspective is important too. Don’t make a lot of important decisions when you’re having a bad day. Give yourself some time. You aren’t looking at things from the mountain on those days I call “crumple and cry days.”  You’re looking up from the ground or inside of the valley.

Just turn on a little music, dance it off and start again. Watch an inspiring movie or video. Call a friend to talk you off the ledge.

Try Everything.

Kandyce tries rock climbing

 

Celebrating Me and You and Wonder Woman

Posted on by
Reply

Amazon. Hero. Icon. This book by Robert Greenberger is terrific.

 

The women in my family have this thing we do when we’re having a tough day. You know those days – when everything seems to go wrong and there’s a shadow phrase lurking in the back of your mind? That dreaded thought emerges – ‘What else could go wrong today?” And before we say it or even let it form into a solidified question in our minds, we remind each other to do the Wonder Woman Turn.

The Wonder Woman Turn consists of turning yourself around, counter clockwise three times, with your arms flung wide, just like Linda Carter showed you in the TV show. Then you shake off the bad mojo and click your wrists together, and walk away, confident that you have gotten rid of whatever it was that momentarily took hold of your day. (Trust me It works. Try it next time you have an awful day.)

But today, I am reminded of the power of the iconic Wonder Woman to make us all feel strong and brave. Wonder Woman represents truth and justice and patriotism. But more than that, she represents power – the power to change the world, or even just our little corner of it. We can and have done so much!

Today is International Women’s Day, created in 1977 as “a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.” You can find more info here: http://www.internationalwomensday.com

I hope today, of all days, you don’t have to do the Wonder Woman turn because things are going badly. I hope you can do it with pride and gratitude, for all the women who have gone before you, those who have connected with you now, and those whose lives you are shaping along the way to their amazing future.

Here’s to your inner Wonder Woman and mine!

 

 

Hello Again, Yoga!

Posted on by
Reply

I used to practice yoga at home every morning. Almost every day began with a pot of coffee, followed by quiet time to journal, and then I was on the mat for a 20 minute yoga practice. I used to laugh and say that yoga kept me from killing people. In truth, it kept me more responsive to problems and situations, rather than being reactive. I loved yoga and I was proud of myself for keeping up a regular practice. For me, it was an impactful, yet easy piece of my self-care plan.

Then one rainy day in Jackson, Mississippi, I fell on the way into a meeting. I stepped into a small hole in the pavement that was obscured by the rain and twisted my ankle in just the right way so as to lose my balance and plop right onto the muddy ground. The result was a pretty awful deep ankle bone bruising that made walking difficult for awhile, much less getting into Downward Facing Dog or even a comfortable lotus position. It seemed like it took forever for my ankle to feel normal again. Months went by and I was off the mat. Then another two years would go by before I would return to a regular practice of yoga.

During that time, I would think about yoga a lot. I missed the benefits and felt like I was reactive, falling into negative thinking more quickly than its opposite. My self- talk was mean and unforgiving. “You REALLY need to make time for this if it’s so important to you! Why can’t you just take 20 minutes to get back onto that mat? Why can’t you do this regularly any more? What’s wrong with you???”

It took the cessation of a busy part-time job and the return to working full-time for myself to make my thoughts more positive and my self-care more of a priority. And it took a reflective and forgiving look at my time to incorporate that 20-minute practice back into my day. I’m not at every single day yet and I’m also not yelling at myself if I miss a Saturday morning because of a lengthy list of want or need-to-dos or a Sunday morning because I want to see my granddaughter’s dance competition.

When I get on the mat, I immediately relax and start to breathe. It’s like my mind and body say, “Hello again, Yoga! It’s good to be back!” And then later, I remember that feeling just before I go to bed and set my internal alarm accordingly so I have that extra 20 minutes. I’m much more calm and centered as I go about my day, talking to myself, writing or working with clients. Yes, I still have stressors and there are things I would like to see changed yesterday. Nothing is ever perfect. But it’s working – I’m back  to something that matters a lot to me.

Spring often brings a desire to clean house, to start something new and beautiful or to plant a new seed. I’ve thought about this a lot lately as I am moving into this Spring Clean Your Life work with myself and with others. Spring cleaning isn’t just clearing cobwebs from the corners of your living room or laundering your curtains. It’s a fresh, new perspective, practice or commitment. It’s a cleansing of negative self talk – talk that wouldn’t come out of your mouth to your best friend, but often comes into your head when thinking about your own behaviors or what you consider to be failures. It’s a conscious practice of screening pieces of your life, practices of your day and desires of your soul to see if they all fit with what you want out of life and work.

Spring is the time to take a look at all aspects of your work, your home, and your thoughts. New beginnings happen now, as we prepare for flowers to bloom and gentle breezes to blow again. It’s a time when we notice the beauty of our environment and we celebrate rebirth and resurrection.

So let me ask you today – what are you ready to say Hello to?

Yoga with my Dog.

Agnes waits patiently while I get on the mat.

Laurie Johnson helps small businesses become large businesses, and small nonprofits to become more successful nonprofits. She does this by providing consulting services, training, and individual and group coaching sessions. When work and life aren’t in balance, Laurie helps you get it together and create systems and practices that fulfill all aspects of your life.

A free “Spring Clean Your Life” workshop call is being offered Wednesday, March 2nd at 7pm Central Standard time (8pm EST). Email Laurie to register or go to www.4elementscoaching.com/contact-us to sign up.

Are You Ready To Make Your Life More Meaningful?

Posted on by
Reply

Thanks to all of you who were able to join the call Monday night. I enjoyed the experience of sharing what I’ve learned and listening to your shares on the call and after. It’s clear that there is a desire inside of many of us to create lives that are deeply aligned to our passions and strengths. I hope I can help you discover how to design a more meaningful life design. If you weren’t able to join the call, here is the recording (feel free to save and listen again). 

Make it Meaningful Call Recording

I am starting a new Make it Meaningful Group that might be just what you need to begin designing your intentional life. 

The group begins on Wednesday, January 28th, 2015 at 8pm EST/7pm CST and lasts for three sessions. (Note that I had the date wrong on the call – it is WEDNESDAY, January 28th!) During these sessions, participants will discover: 

  • Values – what is it you truly value and how do you design your life and work to align with these important priorities. 
  • How to make a clean sweep – What’s cluttering up your life and your mind? How do you de-clutter and remove the things that you are tolerating? 
  • End Results – what do you want to do, have or be by the end of 2015? And how do you stay on track to make sure you get the results you’re looking for? 

This group is limited, so you’ll want to decide and register soon. If you sign up by January 27th, you will be able to participate for all three, one-hour sessions for just $150! This is a significant savings over my individual coaching fees and the most inexpensive group I have ever offered. . And if you want to experience coaching, but can’t afford individual coaching rates, this group might be the best way for you to experience coaching right now. 

In addition to the group coaching experience and assessments, group members will be linked to a closed Facebook group to share during the three months of sessions and beyond. And as more Make it Meaningful groups happen over the course of 2015, those members will be added as well. So for your investment of $150, you will get: 

  • Group Coaching – three one-hour sessions
  • Three assessments to help you get closer to understanding where you are and where you want to go;
  • Access to closed Facebook group for shares, wins, resources and motivation for as long as you want it;
  • Support from a trained and certified coach and other group participants; 
  • First chance at upcoming groups during the rest of this year; 
  • 10% Discount for three months of individual coaching fees if you decide to continue the coaching experience beyond or during the group. 
  • End of the year wrap up to check in and provide you with the opportunity to assess and set new meaningful goals for the coming year. 

So – are you ready to Make it Meaningful? Registration ends at 7pm on TUESDAY, January 27th, 2015. I hope you will join me for this life changing group. There is power in group coaching and in deciding you are ready to make a change! 

Sessions will be on the last Wednesday of every month: 

Wednesday, January 28th
Wednesday, February 25th
Wednesday, March 25th 

To register, call me at 228-467-8470, email me at LaurieJohnson@4elementscoaching.com or go to the Contact Us page and fill out the form to register. Make sure I have your name, phone number and email. I’ll contact you to make sure you are registered before the call. 

From Overwhelmed to Intentional

Posted on by
Reply

 

Happy New Year!! 

It’s been awhile since my last blog post, hasn’t it? Where have I been? I did not shut down my business or stop coaching. I did embark on a few years of intensive caregiving and advocating for my mother, who had Alzheimer’s Disease. We lost her on December 5th of 2013 and I began a new part-time position with AARP Mississippi just five days later! I knew this new job would give me more time to coach and work in my business. And it did. However, the challenge of learning new systems, technologies and training platforms meant I had to prioritize. So taking good care of my existing clients and helping new ones was THE most important thing I needed and wanted to do. Newsletters and blog posts could wait.

Rewinding, Reflection and Renewal

So one year later, 2015 has begun and I am reflecting on what I learned over the past two years. 2013 was filled with scheduling: work events, doctor’s appointments, care team meetings, applications and follow up. 2014 felt like it passed by in the blink of an eye, partly because I felt like I was always reacting, rather than responding. Do you ever feel that way too? I felt largely unprepared, like I wasn’t thinking ahead or planning anything at all. And in many cases, I wasn’t because so much of what I was experiencing in my new position was new and untested. But my business systems and personal stuff was fairly routine! I COULD plan and organize those things more efficiently. Why wasn’t I doing that? Upon reflection, I can say this: I did a LOT of things I had longed to do and couldn’t when I was caregiving for my mom and working myself to death. I spent a lot of time in 2014 doing what I love: scrapbooking, playing with my granddaughter, reading and relaxing. It took me awhile to realize that what I wasn’t getting done made space for me to be in renewal. To heal and rest.

New Year’s Resolutions don’t work for me. 

I read the other day that planning and organization are one of the top resolutions people make in the near year. Planning and organizing are certainly high on my list for 2015 too. But I don’t like the word “resolution” at all. The root word, resolute, is typically defined as ‘unwavering.’ My life wavers. People get sick, die, change jobs and move. And if I am unwavering, I am not flexible. Rather, I make ‘Intentions’ for the new year – things I intend to do, if everything lines up and stays favorable. If it doesn’t, then I can reflect and figure out how to stay generally focused. I reflect on the past year most years and this past few weeks, I have taken a lot of time to discover why I felt so overwhelmed.

I’d like to go through this with you too. 

I really want to share what I’ve learned and the process I go through with anyone who needs it. No kidding – I want everyone to stop feeling overwhelmed and to feel more prepared and responsive. But, there’s a lot – WAY too much to include in a newsletter or blog post.

That’s why I’m offering a free training call – Make It Meaningful: A Guide to Intentional Living and Working. I’ll spend about an hour telling you about where I was and where I am now, what helped and what didn’t, and how you can get closer to a more meaningful and intentional life and work environment. During the call we will:
1) Explore what you most want to do and how to stay out of rabbit holes;
2) Prioritize and then plan and organize those priorities;
3) Create a process for staying on track.

This call is absolutely free and happens on Monday, January 19th at 7:00 pm Eastern/6:00 pm Central time. That should give you some time to grab a little something to eat, find a note pad and a pen that writes and settle in your favorite quiet spot.

All you have to do to sign up is to email me at LaurieJohnson@4elementscoaching.com. Or you can go to my website at www.4elementscoaching.com and click on the Contact Us page, putting Make It Meaningful in the subject line. Then just write “Sign Me Up.”

The call will be recorded, but if you dial in live, you’ll have an opportunity to receive a free gift AND to participate in some other opportunities that will be offered in the next few months.

Start Right Now! 

If you want to make planning and responding a priority, start now by making this call a priority. Add it to your Outlook calendar or set an appointment and reminder on your smart phone. And be sure to invite your friends too – we all know someone who could use a little help, don’t we?

I can’t say for sure if I will be sending out regular newsletters or blogging weekly in 2015. It’s my intention to add these things back into my work and I have set these tactics as priorities in my schedule. But, as one of my colleagues often tells me, “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.” I know this: 2015 will be a meaningful year for me, just as 2014 was after a little learning and growing. My intentions are clear and I know what matters most in my life. I hope you have a beautiful new year, sprinkled with happiness and joy. If I can help you make that happen, my life will be more meaningful too!

Demons Bearing Gifts

Posted on by
1

In his book, Crisis Points: Working Through Personal Problems, author Julian Sleigh introduced me to the idea of demons who show up in our lives making us “shrink in fear and revulsion.” Yet they bear gifts hidden under their wings. “If we challenge them and make them yield up their gifts,” he says, “they will be satisfied and will fly away, leaving us to benefit from what they brought.”

If this is true, I met many demons last year and it took me awhile to make them show me the gifts. You may be wondering where I’ve been since last February. And, perhaps my biggest fear is that you are not. Maybe my posts and newsletters and calls were forgotten in the bustle of your own demons, triumphs and joys. And that’s as it should be, really. My demons belong to me – and yours to you. And for much of 2012, I couldn’t coach you or help you to share your fears because my own demons were circling like vultures, it seemed.

Last year began rather unexpectedly and dramatically for me and my family. My youngest daughter was hit by a young driver, resulting in a severe break at the ankle and the total loss of her car and her job. Months of surgeries and pain followed, and I worried about every aspect of her recovery. Simultaneously, another demon brought me the realization that my mother’s dementia and failing health would require an almost immediate move to assisted living. I worried that the house wouldn’t sell and that we wouldn’t be able to afford the right place. Later that summer, my oldest daughter broke her wrist – yet another surgery ensued! Federal funding cuts affected nonprofits that I serve daily. I slipped into a routine of reacting, fretting, doubting myself and fearing – oh the fearing!. By July, being on hyper alert to all of these issues began to take a toll on my physical and emotional health. It took me a few months, but by the end of the year, I came up and out of the darkness and demanded that all these demons yield their gifts to me. And there they were…

I was able to work when I could, as I could, without losing my income or the career that is so meaningful to me. My children recovered and found their own gifts in the pain and suffering. My mother adjusted to the move and I found that I enjoyed having her so close and can accept what her brain can offer at this stage of her life. I realized that if I ignore the emotional work that needs to be done and hope that it all goes away, it won’t. I read a lot of books and watched a lot of movies, but when they each ended, the problems were still there. If I try to continually live with reacting rather than responding, I eventually break down and need to nurture myself and heal. I’m not an adrenaline junkie anymore. Maybe it’s my age or maybe it’s just that I’m tired of it.

But when I do demand the gifts, I am surprised by joy and I see grace. I see those friends who loved me through the times I retreated to my room, forgetting to call or send a birthday card. I am loved by those family members who believe that what I could do in those moments was enough. My colleagues, clients, and teammates acknowledge my journey and wait for me to come back to myself. I forgive myself for not ‘achieving my goals’ or ‘committing to success.’ I just let it all go and reach for what is beautiful and comforting.

So this year, so far, the demons have been mostly at bay. For now. I am back to myself and back to work that I love in a way that pleases and delights me. I remember why I love coaching so much and have reconnected with old clients and welcomed new ones. There are still issues – some loom large on the horizon. But there is more good in my life than I can number.

This year will be filled with peace. How do I know? Because even when the demons swoop in, I know that they are carrying something that I desperately need. And only I have the ability to ask them to surrender it.

Surrender. Sounds like a beautiful state of being, doesn’t it?